Is this a good reason for a urgent marriage

[DaShadow577]

sorry, new here not sure if i posted in right thread

so i know theres a 6 month waiting period after getting engaged to get married

i was wondering

i myself struggle with the sin of masturbation

and my girlfriend(were getting engaged soon) struggles with impure thoughts and desires( similar to what a man goes through) because she had something very traumatic happend to her when she was younger…now we both struggle with sexual sins and our sins are similar in nature and would be fine in marriage because wed just unite the 2 selfish acts into the marital embrace(the selfess act)…and then we would no longer be sinning

i know that saint paul said "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

also he said “if anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong** and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married”

so my question is(sorry if i made it confusing) would the 6 month period be shortened for a reason like this, i know one must practice self controller, but we started these sins when we were innocent and never knew they were wrong, and now were trying to get over them**

 

[DaShadow577]

so would the reason to be married, maybe even like immediately be justifiable,
for the sole purpose of not sinning no more and also for us to overcome our temptations and give ourselves to eachother selflessly instead of performing selfish acts?

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Just my opinion, but no. Marriage is not something to be done in haste. Follow the Church’s program of preparation.

 

[Joe_5859]

You should talk to your priest about these things.

I will say that, in general, it is better to deal with these issue before marriage anyway. You will both be far better off. Don’t expect marriage to be a “cure” for these sexual sins. Marriage does not provide you with sex-on-demand. There will be plenty of times in your marriage where you will have to abstain for one reason or another. If you are accustomed to satisfying those urges yourself, it will be just as easy to do so after marriage as it was before.

Keep praying and stay committed to chastity. It can be difficult (particularly when we are dealing with ingrained habits) but it is not impossible. You can do it!

 

[Sunbreak]

No, it’s not a good reason. A relationship needs to be built on real compatibility and caring, not just sexual attraction. Plus, even in marriage it may be necessary to abstain from any sexual activity if one person becomes ill or at times when the woman is pregnant or has just had a child.

 

[chefmomster2]

sorry, new here not sure if i posted in right thread

so i know theres a 6 month waiting period after getting engaged to get married

i was wondering

i myself struggle with the sin of masturbation

and my girlfriend(were getting engaged soon) struggles with impure thoughts and desires( similar to what a man goes through) because she had something very traumatic happend to her when she was younger…now we both struggle with sexual sins and our sins are similar in nature and would be fine in marriage because wed just unite the 2 selfish acts into the marital embrace(the selfess act)…and then we would no longer be sinning

i know that saint paul said "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

also he said “if anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong** and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married”

so my question is(sorry if i made it confusing) would the 6 month period be shortened for a reason like this, i know one must practice self controller, but we started these sins when we were innocent and never knew they were wrong, and now were trying to get over them**

Unfortunately marriage is not an antidote to these sins. Having a sexual partner may help a bit for awhile, but many married men and women have to fight the sins of masturbation and impure thoughts. These things don’t become less sinful after marriage.

I urge you both to work diligently to overcome these things before you marry. Begin to see the 6-month period as a blessing that will allow you needed time. Pray, support each other and seek advice from your priest. (Yeah, I know, embarassing! But think of the strength you will gain!)

Do this as a gift to each other! Doesn’t your intended deserve the very best you that you can be? As married partners you will be asked to help one another increase in faith. Start now!

I would also recommend counselling to your girlfriend to desl with her thoughts. As long as she suffers from her memories, this sin will continue to haunt her. (Her sin may be at least partly mitigated by her history.)

God bless!