Is this a marriage?

[katy]

If sex in a marriage is impossible because of cancer surgery on the male, who isn’t interested anyway, and he isn’t all that interested in participating in other aspects of marriage, is there some point to pursuing the continuation of the marriage? Is it better to stay the course or separate? Is there a point to staying with a husband who is not available in any way as a real spouse? No physical unity, no chatting, not interested in doing anything together, or in counseling, the point here is what? I am tired and discouraged.

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Dear Katy,

Marriage is constituted by the vows that the husband and wife make to each other before God—“for better or worse; in good times and in bad.” Certainly, if living together becomes a danger to either person, or if life together just becomes unbearable for either person, then separation is necessary. But even in separation the marriage remains.

The point here is that the Lord called you to love your spouse as a means of loving Him. This is your vocation. It’s not always easy to love Him. It certainly hasn’t always been easy for Him to love us. His love on the cross is the answer to your question. Spend some time each day reflecting on the extent of what He was willing to endure out of love for you. Then ask Him to give you the strength to love Him back from the cross you are enduring.

You and your husband are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.