Is this a mortal sin.

[bekalc]

Currently I don’t make a lot of money. I had a car expense and then my tires blew out. My credit isn’t great its actually getting better and improving., but I couldn’t put the tires in credit. So I put the tires in my mom’s name. This is a month and a half a go. I immediately gave her 50 dollars towards it that day, then another 75 the next month. (Its six months no finance). My mom isn’t doing great financially so she’s told me she’s just making minimum payments and using the money I’m giving her for other stuff ( this IS making me nervous). I have it planned to give her money this month too.

Well my mom is going out of town this weekend and so she wanted me to give her 50 dollars this week…When she orginally asked me I was like no. The reason was because I already have a bunch of bills I had to pay for this pay check, and I try to spread my bills out between my paychecks. In my head before she asked me this, the money I was going to give towards tires was on the next pay check, and I was even going to do maybe more than 75. But my mom begged me and guilted me, till I was like okay…And really I thought I could do it that maybe I’d put in a lot more overtime, and it would be okay. But its kind of not okay right now…I try to organize my bills so that I have a certain amount left over with every pay check. I could technically do the 50. But I’d really have to tighten things these next two weeks…

I probably “am” being selfish. But then again the money were are talking about was never really suppose to go to her for her spending money. Its suppose to go to the card.
Then again she was probably counting on it since I “promised.” Second, she really guilted me into that promise. How fair is it and she does this a lot to guilt someone into agreeing to do something they are clearly indicating to you that they are uncomfortable with doing? I.e the person giving you money when you know full well that the person doesn’t make a lot of money and is trying their best to stay a float. And she does this a lot with me nags at me into she’ll gets me to agree, and than gets angry when I back out.

I kind of feel like she could care less about my own financial situation. In fact when I kind of indicated her that the 4th was going to be really difficult for me, she said well I have my trip on the 4th so I have to have it…My feeling is and I should have stood up for myself more is that she’s the one who choose to go on that trip. And I just can’t necessarily arrange my bills on that trip. Its not that I’m completely unselfish with money. Last time she went on a trip I lend her 50 but at that particulary time I had a big bonus at work and so while 50 was A LOT for me, it was something I knew I could feasibly do.

Is it a mortal sin for me to just pay her the money two weeks ago, or should I just deal with the tightened belt. I’m wondering if I should just put my footdown and ask her to give me the billing for the card so I can pay them directly. While she use to be great with finances I’m getting more than a bit worried that she’s going to not have the money to pay in 5 months and its going to fall on me or turn out really bad for her. (even though I’m giving her money towards it)

 

[bekalc]

She’s not going on a pleasure trip she’s going on a conference for a business so that she could make some money. I actually right now called my mom back and basically told her that if she really needs money or is desperate this weekend, to call me and I’ll put in at least 25 in her checking account. I guess a good compromise. That I will CAN do.

 

[Aelred_Minor]

This is a prudential decision regarding a rather complicated financial situation. I don’t feel comfortable giving a judgment on exactly what you should pay your mother and when in terms of this trip, but I certainly don’t see the makings of a mortal sin in any of this situation.

As far as repayment of the debt goes, if your mother agreed to have the tires put in her name and you have been faithfully repaying her and will continue to do so, then it seems to me it’s ultimately her fault if she uses the money for other things instead of paying down the debt and ends up in trouble for it. Unless I’m misunderstanding some aspect of the situation of course. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be concerned about her future wellbeing of course.

But I do wonder about your bringing up the idea of mortal sin. You may want to have a discussion with a good priest about the topic of sin in general, and your responsibilities to your mother in particular.

 

[bekalc]

I can be scrupulous. Which is really bad. I guess I was worried because I made a promise. I think from now on I need to stand my ground more and say that I can’t make the promise right now, but I’ll try.

 

[constantconvert]

I can’t advise you what do do in regard to this situation, but to the best of my knowledge, I don’t see any trace of a mortal sin.

I do not see a serious sin, which is the first criteria for a mortal sin.

 

[SusansChoice]

If I am understanding correctly, you charged the tires to your mom’s credit card with the agreement that you would pay her back.

If that is the case, you should make an agreement as to what day you should make a payment and the ammount you are to pay. Stick to the payment plan until the amount of the tires has been repaid. It is not your concern what she does with the money. Her credit is her responsibility. Be sure to keep receipts or cancelled checks

 

[bekalc]

If I am understanding correctly, you charged the tires to your mom’s credit card with the agreement that you would pay her back.

If that is the case, you should make an agreement as to what day you should make a payment and the ammount you are to pay. Stick to the payment plan until the amount of the tires has been repaid. It is not your concern what she does with the money. Her credit is her responsibility. Be sure to keep receipts or cancelled checks

We haven’t really made a payment plan, i.e I don’t even know how much the minimum payment is. Partly though because the agreement is I shouldn’t be caught up in this is the minimum amount I can get away with paying…I gave her a down deposit the day we took off the credit and then 75 last month. If I kept it at that rate I could have her paid by 5 months. To be frank though I’m hoping to put more towards it at this paycheck if I feasibly can. I hate the concept its on her credit. If something happens to me and then she gets stuck eats at me. So I do want to pay her all of it as soon as I can. But well I had another big car expense this past month. I need to find a better paying job…

Its definetly time for me to get another credit card… I hate them and have grown use to life with paying for what I can afford to pay for. Period. But I guess its time.