Is this a mortal sin?

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Veronica97

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I was reading an email from a friend, and I saw an icon at the edge of my page (gmail). I kept looking at it b/c I couldn’t believe my eyes–it was a cartoon anime character and it looked to be obscene. I looked at it about 4 times–trying to fgure out what it was and why it was on my page. Then I realized it was my friend’s avatar and upon closer inspection, it wasn’t obscene at all. But being scrupulous, I am worried that I have sinned mortally b/c I kept looking at it in shock to try to figure out what it really was showing. I have had problems with sins against chastity in the past, so I’m also worried that I might have put myself in a near occasion of sin by looking at the picture. Does this sound like mortal sin? Should I have not looked at it anymore the moment I thought it might have been obscene?
 
From the way you’ve described this, I’m quite confident you have not sinned, even venially.

I would think, if you saw something that looked obscene in your private email, you have a right (if not an obligation) to verify whether it is what you think it is, and if so, try to figure out why it showed up on your gmail so you can make it Not Happen Again. :nope:

You were stunned. :eek: You stared like a deer in the headlights. I suspect you were processing shock, and even fear (especially of being pulled into temptation). So maybe there was some curiosity as your mind argued with itself, “wow, that really couldn’t be, could it?” It was something you’ve never encountered before, so how are you supposed to have know precisely what to do anyway? No, you did the right thing, in my way of looking at it. 👍

Now if you said you were attracted to it, and stared at it and got aroused and whatever else might have happened but didn’t, then I might think more of it. 🤷

And before anyone else says it, my confident opinion is still that of some guy on the Internet, so please accept my opinion FWIW. 🙂

Alan
 
Well, I was a little aroused–like an automatic reaction–but not wanting to be, if you know what I mean. I tried to keep control of my imagination and just figure out what it was and why it was there.
 
Sex is a powerful force, like a wild horse. I suppose some people have more resources to tame it or just find it easier to tame it. So many things can rouse the dormant horse: loneliness, stress, disappointment, unfulfilled need for deep and meaninful communion with others etc. You’re more likely to sin when you’re h-a-l-t: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Only you, God and your spiritual director know if there is an element of not avoiding a near occasion of sin. If such is the case, it’s most likely venial. God will be harsh with people who deserve to be treated in such a way, do your best and trust God’s love and mercy.
 
One day Padre Pio said that curiosity was a very bad thing. That left me puzzled :confused: Only later, as I found myself tempted in very similar situations (ok, I admit it, worse situations :D) I realized that a significant number of falls could be attributed not even to lust itself, but to the darn curiosity! Sometimes even - and yep, that is pride - the curiosity to see just how much I could resist temptation, forgetting that in matters of lust we are like paper brought next to fire, and that’s the only temptation we should not expose ourselves to because there is almost a 100% certainty that we will fall.

Then again, temptation does not equal mortal sin. There must be full knowledge and deliberate consent (beyond grave matter). Did I intend to sin by looking at the image? Once I realized it was sinful, did I resist it or did I deliberately chose to indulge in the inordinate pleasure?

I once read a book by a Catholic priest describing an exorcism and there were some questionable transcriptions of what was spoken that would elicit lust…which is why the adversary spoke them in first place…I did not consider that I should confess any feeling I had while reading it, because I was not seeking lust, but rather I was reading about what a priest had to confront, and I did grow extremely humble after that reading (realizing that if I was responding in such way to those filthy words, I’d have been in very big trouble if I had been in the priests’ shoes :D), but I do not recommend it to anybody and I’d rather not have read it 🤷 But I don’t think I sinned mortally if I felt anything lustful during the reading: sexual response is a most natural thing, and if the intention is not towards inordinate enjoyment of that pleasure, there should be no sin…we should not be called to fight what is natural, but to fight what is unnatural and unordered 🤷

While only a confessor can discern if something was or not a mortal sin, I personally do not think so. You were shocked by your friend having what appeared to be an obscene avatar and, despite the reaction of your body (a most natural reaction) you still wanted to figure it out 🤷 Now, was it prudent? No!! 😃 Lust = fire. Must be humble and turn my eyes (including the eyes of my mind) immediately away, not just towards a blank void: towards the Blessed Virgin, who is purity and chastity incarnate 😉
 
Thank you all. I ended up looking at it again, but only because I couldn’t believe what it looks like but it really isn’t that. I just am still sort of “puzzled” by the drawing. I don’t even know if that makes sense. It’s been about 16 months since I had a reversion and renounced all serious sins, including those against chastity. I frequent the Sacraments and pray 3 Hail Marys twice a day for my Mother to preserve me from mortal sin. Committing mortal sin is one of my worst fears and so I don’t think I gave full consent. My scruples is mingled with OCD though, and so it’s harder for me to get rid of a thought even if I don’t want it. So it probably was just best not to keep looking if only for that fact. Every time I think I’m getting better, I have a flare up.
 
When you say “keep looking,” what are we talking? I was thinking maybe 2-3 seconds. If you were looking for 45 seconds that might be an indicator of consent.

Of course there is no specific dividing line, but I’m talking what general range. Actually I don’t want to know the answer – I just want to pose the question for you to consider.

Alan
 
I would say 5 seconds tops each time, if that (before I posted my question.) I was not wanting to look at it too long–just enough to try to see exactly what it was supposed to be. I looked at it one last time after I read these comments–just for a few seconds because I was still puzzled as to why it looked like it did.
 
Well, maybe it’s a good thing I looked after all. I told my friend about it, and she had no idea that was her email avatar. She said it was an old avatar from her youtube account, and she doesn’t even know why it showed up in her email. She assured me it’s NOT a sexual scene but did say it’s from a series that she no longer watches/reads b/c of the content. So she really didn’t want it as her avatar b/c of the anime series it came from.
 
As said, no you have not sinned, at least not mortally (if at all).

Sin is intentionally and knowingly going against Christ. Confirming that something is obscene is not so much a sin either, it’s a mere human habit of filling your curiosity. If you found out it was indeed obscene and kept staring at it in arousal, then yes most likely you sinned. But if you went ahead, closed it, you handled it right.

Seeing as it wasn’t obscene in the end, I see what you’re saying. Don’t worry. You now know it wasn’t what you thought it was and your curiosity is at rest.

The sin of lust, pornography etc requires a lot more than that to be met.
 
Veronica97 said:
Thank you all. I ended up looking at it again, but only because I couldn’t believe what it looks like but it really isn’t that. I just am still sort of “puzzled” by the drawing. I don’t even know if that makes sense. It’s been about 16 months since I had a reversion and renounced all serious sins, including those against chastity. I frequent the Sacraments and pray 3 Hail Marys twice a day for my Mother to preserve me from mortal sin. Committing mortal sin is one of my worst fears and so I don’t think I gave full consent. My scruples is mingled with OCD though, and so it’s harder for me to get rid of a thought even if I don’t want it. So it probably was just best not to keep looking if only for that fact. Every time I think I’m getting better, I have a flare up.
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Veronica, it’s God’s desire that everyone be saved, do you think God would keep you from his presence eternally because you looked at an image? God knows people’s individual heart, he knows you’re sincere and he knows the effort it took you to revert and to keep going. Going with the flow is so much easier: you do nothing and it happens! He gives many, many chances to dirty scoundrels, to people who wouldn,t give him the time of day. He’s not a petty character trying to get us. Long story short: looking at a pic innocently and then getting intrigued and perhaps slightly aroused by it IS NOT grave matter. I’m not an expert, it might be a minor (venial) fault but nothing more than that. The usual advice I see here for scrupulous/OCD folks is to get a spiritual director, perhaps you should seek one if you don’t have one already. Best of success.
 
Veronica97, do you have a spiritual director? You would do better bringing up these matters in direction, rather than asking for advice from strangers on the Internet. Especially if you suffer from scrupulosity.
 
louisak said:
Veronica97, do you have a spiritual director? You would do better bringing up these matters in direction, rather than asking for advice from strangers on the Internet. Especially if you suffer from scrupulosity.
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So, you’re a stranger on the Internet advising her to not take advice from strangers on the Internet, did I get that right? That’s sort of the purpose of forums, you know.
 
Robertanthony said:
So, you’re a stranger on the Internet advising her to not take advice from strangers on the Internet, did I get that right? That’s sort of the purpose of forums, you know.
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That’s not what I said. Please go back and read my post more carefully. I said “You would do better bringing up these matters in direction”. The words “these matters” refer to something very specific.

People use the forums for all sorts of things - discussing doctrinal issues, comparing their favorite spiritual writers, chatting about the news, you name it. Even in some cases, asking for advice might be helpful. But when it comes to assessing whether a particular sin is mortal or venial - especially if there are particular circumstances such as mental illness or scrupulosity - really a person needs to consult a priest or spiritual director. I stand by that statement.
 
If it’s dangerous to discuss whether a sin is mortal with anybody but a confessor, then perhaps we should ban any topic involving personal experience with sin. :onpatrol:

Alan
 
I’m sorry for any controversy I may have caused. I don’t have a spiritual director. Our pastor is pastor of two parishes, so he is very overworked, and most other nearby parishes I know of have only one priest for hundreds of parishoners. I have contacted my diocese about getting a spiritual director, but they never responded. I think most of the time I know deep down whether I have committed mortal sin or not, but I don’t trust my judgement and go looking for reassurance. In this case, my intent was to figure out what the picture was really showing and why it was on my page. I was trying to control my thoughts so as not to sin. I wasn’t thinking, “Hey, what a great picture! This ought to be fun to figure out what it is.” It was more like cringing inside thinking, “What IS this? I sure don’t want to sin by looking at something obscene.” I only got upset because of the “feeling” it caused me to have. But as soon as I recognized the “feeling” I thought, “No–I musn’t think about this but just find out why this picture is on my page.” When I realized it was my friend’s avatar, I knew that I MUST figure out what it was b/c if it was obscene I needed to address this with my friend b/c we discuss spiritual matters with each other on a regular basis. Once I figured out it wasn’t obscene, I looked at it again b/c I was still puzzled as to why I thought it was. It may have been merely a temptation or I may have given partial consent, but I don’t think I gave full consent b/c the thought of committing mortal sin is so horrible to me now. (I’m not saying I’m not capable of committing mortal sin–only that my sinful past horrifies me now.) I have gotten to know some of the members of CAF through their posts and there are several frequent posters such as Alan and R_C whose opinions I have come to respect. So in that way, I depend upon other Christians to help guide me. Then I pray about it and take it to confession as I feel convicted by the Holy Spirit.
 
Veronica97 said:
I’m sorry for any controversy I may have caused. I don’t have a spiritual director.
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You have nothing to apologize for. Listening to you and telling you our reactions is what most of us are here for. I hope I didn’t sound too terse, but I’m working very hard now to get to the point instead of using many words, so maybe I go too far at times. :o
Veronica97 said:
I have gotten to know some of the members of CAF through their posts and there are several frequent posters such as Alan and R_C whose opinions I have come to respect. So in that way, I depend upon other Christians to help guide me. Then I pray about it and take it to confession as I feel convicted by the Holy Spirit.
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I’m glad we’re able to help you. I believe we are all here, posters and lurkers, because the Holy Spirit either sees to it or lets it happen of our free wills, or however that works. One way or the other, if we continue to seek God and the things of the kingdom, then all other things will be added unto us. So to me that means that whatever the problem of the mind, mental, spiritual, or emotional (or even social in my case) it’s always a good strategy to keep up our prayer lives and focus on the prize. 🙂

That will keep us in the right frame of mind to address other things we need to work on, in a greater peace and confidence. Fear, anxiety, and worry close the mind to growth because they make the mind protect what it already knows by rejecting anything new. That’s why Jesus gives us His peace, so that we may relax and our minds will be open to growth … and the Holy Spirit knows how to get that Divine Therapy done. The more we “surrender” (easier said than done I know…) the more we invite Him into our hearts, minds, and souls to purify and renew us. In my experience, being fixed by the Lord is far greater than never being broken in the first place. :harp:

Alan
 
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