is this a mortal sin?

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JLCecilia

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I opted out of taking communion where a plenary indulgence is being offered b/c I wasn’t able to get to confession before hand. I frequently struggle with abstaining during phase II b/c my husband has been sterilized. To me, it is equal to using contraception. I have since gone to confession and am still within the seven day window to take communion and receive the indulgence.

Am I being over scrupulous? I am saddened with the sterilization and deeply convicted about making reparation for it, but DH and I have always struggled with abstinence. Sometimes I take communion without confession for this sin b/c I tell myself that I need the sacramental grace to fight the sin, other times I won’t allow myslef.

What do you think?
 
It isn’t grave matter for you to continue intimacy with DH.

He, if I remember correctly, did this without your approval.

Some theologians have suggested continuing relations but with abstaining during fertile times could be a type of pennance for those who regret sterilization. It isn’t mandatory.

What you could do is fervently pray for your husband’s repentance.
 
Yes, you are being over scrupulous. Having relations with your husband is not a sin at all and certainly not a mortal sin.
 
Sorry, I do not usually comment on these types of threads but I am afraid I must.

If you thought it was grave matter at the time, and you did it anyway, it is mortal.
 
TheSurvivor said:
Sorry, I do not usually comment on these types of threads but I am afraid I must.

If you thought it was grave matter at the time, and you did it anyway, it is mortal.
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I must disagree. TheSurvivor is not the person who chose to have the Surgery so she is not culpable. Once again legalism rears its ugly head.🤷
 
JLCecilia said:
I opted out of taking communion where a plenary indulgence is being offered b/c I wasn’t able to get to confession before hand. I frequently struggle with abstaining during phase II b/c my husband has been sterilized. To me, it is equal to using contraception. I have since gone to confession and am still within the seven day window to take communion and receive the indulgence.

Am I being over scrupulous? I am saddened with the sterilization and deeply convicted about making reparation for it, but DH and I have always struggled with abstinence. Sometimes I take communion without confession for this sin b/c I tell myself that I need the sacramental grace to fight the sin, other times I won’t allow myslef.

What do you think?
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Your soul is more important than the results of an internet poll of strangers. What does your confessor say?
 
kozlosap said:
I must disagree. TheSurvivor is not the person who chose to have the Surgery so she is not culpable. Once again legalism rears its ugly head.🤷
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That is not what I said.

I did not say this is objectively grave matter, don’t do it again. Nor did I say this is perfectly ok. I am not commenting about the objective morality of this persons dilemma.

What I am saying is if she believed what she was doing was grave matter, then it was a mortal sin.

God Love you
 
JLCecilia said:
I opted out of taking communion where a plenary indulgence is being offered b/c I wasn’t able to get to confession before hand. I frequently struggle with abstaining during phase II b/c my husband has been sterilized. To me, it is equal to using contraception. I have since gone to confession and am still within the seven day window to take communion and receive the indulgence.
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You need to be under the care of a spiritual director. You are making up sins. It is NOT a sin to have relations with your husband, even if he elected to become sterilized. The Church simply does not teach this.
JLCecilia said:
Am I being over scrupulous?
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Yes.
JLCecilia said:
I am saddened with the sterilization and deeply convicted about making reparation for it, but DH and I have always struggled with abstinence. Sometimes I take communion without confession for this sin b/c I tell myself that I need the sacramental grace to fight the sin, other times I won’t allow myslef.

What do you think?
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It’s not a sin. STOP making reparations for something you didn’t even do! It is NOT a sin to have relations with your husband on ANY day. I suggest you stop tracking fertile/infertile days as this is causing you to create imagined sins. Ask a spiritual director about this ASAP.

PLEASE talk to your pastor or a spiritual director about this and your scruples.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Your soul is more important than the results of an internet poll of strangers. What does your confessor say?
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It is easy to get a little confused when several posters give different answers (or opinions) to your question(s). If you get confused, ask your confessor. When you talk to your confessor it is as if you are talking with Jesus Himself and your confessor will answer your questions.
 
TheSurvivor said:
What I am saying is if she believed what she was doing was grave matter, then it was a mortal sin.

God Love you
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This is not true. Grave matter is required for a sin to be mortal.

If I believe whistling a song is grave matter, and I freely choose to do it anyway believing it to offend God, I may commit a venial sin (choosing to do something that I believe offends God), but I do not commit mortal sin because whistling is not grave matter and doesn’t actually offend God.
 
TheSurvivor said:
Sorry, I do not usually comment on these types of threads but I am afraid I must.

If you thought it was grave matter at the time, and you did it anyway, it is mortal.
Click to expand...
Not for someone with scruples it’s not. Her conscience isn’t fully formed, hence the disordered scruples.

There is no grave matter on HER part here. Her husband alone is culpable of his sinful actions. There is no mortal sin without grave matter, it’s one of the three necessary conditions for mortal sin.
 
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