Is This a Sin?

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Hey guys.

I am confused about whether this qualifies as a sin or not. So, I have had a problem with masturbation for years. I have gone to Confession twice, planning on confessing the sin, but then chickening out and withholding the information, which means that the whole thing doesn’t count. After both of those times I have gone to church and received communion, which I also know is a sin when you haven’t confessed a mortal sin. Knowing that I have those sins and still too nervous to confess my act of masturbating to a priest, I have skipped church on Sundays so I wouldn’t commit any more sin. But my question is, does knowingly skipping church on Sundays because you haven’t confessed qualify as a sin? Since I learned as Catholics you are suppose to go to church on Sundays unless you absolutely can’t make it (like, you’re sick or something).

I know this question may seem kind of weird, and I may be over thinking this, but its just been kind of pulling at me for a while. I hope I explained everything clearly 🙂
 
Masturbation is natural, I don’t think you need to confess it. Although many here would disagree. The church isn’t always right, just because they say something is a sin doesn’t mean it is. If the proclaimed that singing in the shower was a sin, would you go and confess that?
 
clouded_coffee said:
Hey guys.

I am confused about whether this qualifies as a sin or not. So, I have had a problem with masturbation for years. I have gone to Confession twice, planning on confessing the sin, but then chickening out and withholding the information, which means that the whole thing doesn’t count. After both of those times I have gone to church and received communion, which I also know is a sin when you haven’t confessed a mortal sin. Knowing that I have those sins and still too nervous to confess my act of masturbating to a priest, I have skipped church on Sundays so I wouldn’t commit any more sin. But my question is, does knowingly skipping church on Sundays because you haven’t confessed qualify as a sin? Since I learned as Catholics you are suppose to go to church on Sundays unless you absolutely can’t make it (like, you’re sick or something).

I know this question may seem kind of weird, and I may be over thinking this, but its just been kind of pulling at me for a while. I hope I explained everything clearly 🙂
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Clouded Coffee, unfortunately you have discovered and fully engaged the slippery slope.

Yes, skipping Mass on Sunday without good cause (such as illness or travel) is a mortal sin.

Please, go to Confession, behind a screen if you have to, and confess everything.

While habit might mitigate to some extent the sin of masturbation (see CCC), that would not then mitigate the subsequent sins of recieving the Eucharist unworthily (sacrilege) and skipping Mass on Sundays.
 
I must respectfully disagree with Backslang. Masturbation is a mortal sin in the eyes of the Church. And so is receiving communion while in the state of mortal sin and so is willfully skipping mass.

You are really just compounding the problem. Time to man up, go to confession and lay it all on the table, and begin a fresh start. If you are “afraid” to confess at your church because your priest might recognize who you are, go to another church for confession.

Good luck.
 
Fear of going to confession is something I was also guilty of, waiting years to go. I can promise you that you will be greatly sorry if you continue to wait and when you finally go you will be so relieved. Go behind the curtain and be forgiven. God bless you.
 
Backslang said:
And the logical problem with masturbation is?
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excuse me for asking, please do, and please try to answer me politely, but what is so bad about…er…masturbation? I know that God didn’t create us just for pleasure, and that we are supposed to “make life”, but this is a private thing, not hurting you or anyone else, and, well, I just don’t get it…
 
Lost_Sheep said “I must respectfully disagree with Backslang. Masturbation is a mortal sin in the eyes of the Church. And so is receiving communion while in the state of mortal sin and so is willfully skipping mass.”

This is your answer ReachingFaith. It is a place where faith kicks in, you can not reason the rules of the Church away even when they don’t make sense to our human minds. Even if you don’t get it, you obey if you truly want to be a Catholic. God bless you.
 
ReachingFaith said:
excuse me for asking, please do, and please try to answer me politely, but what is so bad about…er…masturbation? I know that God didn’t create us just for pleasure, and that we are supposed to “make life”, but this is a private thing, not hurting you or anyone else, and, well, I just don’t get it…
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Do you believe the line in scripture that says (and I’m paraphrasing) if you commit adultery in your heart with a woman, even without physically doing it, you still sin?

What sorts of thoughts go on in your head when you masturbate? What do you think about? What imagery do you get? See where I’m going with this?

When you masturbate for sheer pleasure, you are removing the procreational aspect of sex. Basically warping what God intended for us to do.

Hope this helps.

God bless you!
 
mountee said:
This is your answer ReachingFaith. It is a place where faith kicks in, you can not reason the rules of the Church away even when they don’t make sense to our human minds. Even if you don’t get it, you obey if you truly want to be a Catholic. God bless you.
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👍
 
clouded_coffee, if you feel you have mortal sin, then you should not receive Holy Communion, but you should always go to Sunday Mass. Many, many people struggle with the same thing as you, so try not to be so hard on yourself. A priest has heard this in confession hundreds or thousands of times. Even if he knew who you were, he’s not going to think any differently of you. Do you go to confession at your home parish? For me, I can deal with my confession so much better if I go to a neighboring parish where I know the priest won’t know me, even if he tries to recognize my voice through the screen.
 
Backslang said:
Masturbation is natural, I don’t think you need to confess it. Although many here would disagree. The church isn’t always right, just because they say something is a sin doesn’t mean it is. If the proclaimed that singing in the shower was a sin, would you go and confess that?
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Why would you would give someone advice on how to practice their Catholic faith? Being a Catholic, I would never give a Jewish person, or a Baptist person, or a Muslim person instruction on which of their practices to do and which to avoid. I don’t mean to seem unwelcoming. People of all faiths are welcome to this forum. But personally, I think it’s a bit disrespectful to tell someone to not practice their faith.

As to your question about what’s wrong with masturbation, that’s a bit off-topic for this thread. You are free to start you own thread on the topic, or read/respond to one of the dozens that already exist.
 
mountee said:
Lost_Sheep said “I must respectfully disagree with Backslang. Masturbation is a mortal sin in the eyes of the Church. And so is receiving communion while in the state of mortal sin and so is willfully skipping mass.”

This is your answer ReachingFaith. It is a place where faith kicks in, you can not reason the rules of the Church away even when they don’t make sense to our human minds. Even if you don’t get it, you obey if you truly want to be a Catholic. God bless you.
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I’m not trying to reason away the rules of the Church, but neither can I blindly accept and obey, and call myself a true Catholic. I look for answers to strengthen my faith, not to “reason it away”, but to make some reason for my own benefit. I’m sure you didn’t mean to offend, and I take no offense, but I cannot be a blind believer. Lots of things have to go on faith, and some of them–well, it’s the old trust thing. And maybe common sense. I need to see it to believe it–and I don’t mean seeing it, in the literal sense!
Why is it a mortal sin? If I were to practice it, I’m not hurting myself, I’m not preventing life, etc. Am I?
 
ReachingFaith said:
I’m not trying to reason away the rules of the Church, but neither can I blindly accept and obey, and call myself a true Catholic. I look for answers to strengthen my faith, not to “reason it away”, but to make some reason for my own benefit. I’m sure you didn’t mean to offend, and I take no offense, but I cannot be a blind believer. Lots of things have to go on faith, and some of them–well, it’s the old trust thing. And maybe common sense. I need to see it to believe it–and I don’t mean seeing it, in the literal sense!
Why is it a mortal sin? If I were to practice it, I’m not hurting myself, I’m not preventing life, etc. Am I?
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Look, God gave us our sexual faculties for a purpose. That purpose (use within marriage fir proceation and/or unitivie purposes spouses) is good and holy. Anything else is the contrary.

Imagine you Iovingly handknitted me a scarf as a present and gave it to me, fondly imagining me using it to keep myself warm in winter.

Imagine a few days later you see me with that scarf … using it as a rag to clean my filthy oven with or something. And imagine I said ‘oh but I needed to clean the oven and this was handy, and I’m not hurting anyone else by doing it.’

Well, I’m sure hurting you by using your gift in a way that shows I place zero value on it - and precious little value on your friendship as the giver of that gift!

That’s what you’re doing with God’s gift of sexuality when you masturbate. Using it for a wrong purpose, one which shows you don’t put it at its right value. Or Him.
 
LilyM said:
Look, God gave us our sexual faculties for a purpose. That purpose (use within marriage fir proceation and/or unitivie purposes spouses) is good and holy. Anything else is the contrary.

Imagine you Iovingly handknitted me a scarf as a present and gave it to me, fondly imagining me using it to keep myself warm in winter.

Imagine a few days later you see me with that scarf … using it as a rag to clean my filthy oven with or something. And imagine I said ‘oh but I needed to clean the oven and this was handy, and I’m not hurting anyone else by doing it.’

Well, I’m sure hurting you by using your gift in a way that shows I place zero value on it - and precious little value on your friendship as the giver of that gift!

That’s what you’re doing with God’s gift of sexuality when you masturbate. Using it for a wrong purpose, one which shows you don’t put it at its right value. Or Him.
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Thank you for the answer, and the example! That makes alot more sense, actually.
 
mountee said:
Lost_Sheep said “I must respectfully disagree with Backslang. Masturbation is a mortal sin in the eyes of the Church. And so is receiving communion while in the state of mortal sin and so is willfully skipping mass.”

This is your answer ReachingFaith. It is a place where faith kicks in, you can not reason the rules of the Church away even when they don’t make sense to our human minds. Even if you don’t get it, you obey if you truly want to be a Catholic. God bless you.
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Actually, this isn’t entirely correct. Masturbation is of itself a grave matter, but it cannot be a mortal sin without free consent of the will and full knowledge of the gravity of the act. This does not mean we try to explain it away, simply that there is nothing that is “always a mortal sin,” but that there are grave acts for which we may be more or less culpable depending upon the formation of our consciences. And this is not trying to rationalize away the rules, this is straight out of the Catechism:
1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.
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As for masturbation in particular, it says:
2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.
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-ACEGC
 
Clouded_Coffee, when I was a boy I masturbated so much I thought I must be in the early stages of madness. I was deeply religious, and a boy scout, and I had no doubt that what I was doing was wrong, and offensive to God. I kept a diary and made a mark in it each day I masturbated. By the end of just one week there were invariably 30 marks in the diary! I prayed earnestly, I sought counsel in the Church and I tried “gritted teeth and determination”. Nothing worked. I became very afraid. “I” wanted to please God. “I” did not want to masturbate. Who, then, was this “I” that masturbated? I began to feel I had no control over my life. I began to feel I was a puppet on a string driven by random forces I could not deal with. It was so bad that by the age of 12 I tried to commit suicide. I failed. But by the time I was 18 I had found drink, and spent the next 10 years in a drunken semi coma, still masturbating frantically, and still praying for help, relief,and release. At my worst time there entered a most precious thought “Be still and know that I am God.” I now know it is Psalm 46:6 but I didn’t know it then. I repeated it over and over and it saved my sanity. My life degenerated into a total shambles and I tried 2 more attempts at suicide. Then one night AA came to me and that same night the love of God, and it’s warmth, rolled over me in waves. I knew I would never drink again, and i never have. So I went in search of the miraculous and by Gid’s grace I found it. And I learnt I was not wrong to think of us humans in our fallen state as automatons. A lifetime of service to God began then, for I gave my life to Him and have renewed that commitment daily. Over the years, as He intervened more and more in my life, the lusts that led to masturbation declined in power and eventually, three years ago I was given the gift of chastity. Now let me point out something vital that not one of your counsellors has mentioned. Chastity is a gift of the Holy Spirit (read Galations 2), it is NOT something we can decide to be. And why does it have to be a Gift of the Holy Spirit? Think about it. Great Nature gives us the sexual function so that we will procreate and all the forces of nature are directed to that end. Do you really think that with your puny strength you can withstand the power of Nature? If you do, you are deluded. Pray for the Holy Spirit to give you the gift of chastity. But remember that time to the Holy Spirit is not the same as time is to us. I had to wait until I was 70 for the Holy Spirit to give me that gift. Although I have always been Catholic, i have not always been Roman Catholic. As a result of an unexpected pilgrimmage to Loudes i found Roman Catholicism, and for reasons i will not now relate i knew i had found the Church in which i belong. I know exactly what you are going through, and I am with you in spirit. jonponwon.
 
Thank you for your replies everyone! That clears things up. Its great to know that there are people out there who have gone through the same type of thing and are willing to help others out. I hope to make it to a church’s confession as soon as possible.

God bless! 😃
 
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