Is this a wedding we can go to?

[Logan]

I have several questions to ask in this thread.

A co-worker of mine (my bosses son) is getting married this summer, it is his 1st marriage. He is a baptized Catholic (and confirmed), he is a fallen away Catholic, its been 10 years or better since he’s been to Mass. The girl he’s going to marry is not of any faith, and this is her 1st marriage too. They are getting married at a country club, the reception will be at the same place. I’m 99.9% sure a priest will NOT be present to witness this.

So here are my questions:

1. Is this a valid marriage (in the eyes of the Church)?
2. Is it a sin to attend this wedding?
3. Should we attend the wedding, or the reception or neither (or both)?
4. What about a gift, if one doesn’t go, do they still buy a gift?
5. If I don’t go, how should I handle it? Since its the bosses son, I’m sure that won’t go over very well, most of my co-workers don’t seem to like me because I practice my Catholic faith.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

[Maureen1125]

So here are my questions:

1. Is this a valid marriage (in the eyes of the Church)? NO
2. Is it a sin to attend this wedding? NO
3. Should we attend the wedding, or the reception or neither (or both)? BOTH
4. What about a gift, if one doesn’t go, do they still buy a gift? GO and bring a nice gift
5. If I don’t go, how should I handle it? Since its the bosses son, I’m sure that won’t go over very well, most of my co-workers don’t seem to like me because I practice my Catholic faith…Not and issue because you should go.

Just because they do not share your beliefs 100% does not mean that you should judge them…it is NOT our place to pass judgement. Go and support them as they start their journey together.

 

[Spirithound]

1. Is this a valid marriage (in the eyes of the Church)?
   If they have not received the proper dispensations, then it is not valid.
2. Is it a sin to attend this wedding?
   Attending an invalid wedding is not (as far as I know) a sin.
3. Should we attend the wedding, or the reception or neither (or both)?
   In spite of your 99.9% conviction that they have not procured the proper dispensations, you really don’t know that (ya know, 41.3% of all statistics are made up on the spot! ). I can’t imagine it being considered proper in any circles to inquire about the groom’s dispensations, so you’re left really not knowing beforehand. That being said, it would not be a sin in itself to not go, but it would be perhaps uncharitable to assume that the dispensations have not been covered. I think that you are free to attend.
4. What about a gift, if one doesn’t go, do they still buy a gift?
   I would say no, if one does not attend, one does not buy a gift, unless they are close friends and you truly do send your regrets on not attending.
5. If I don’t go, how should I handle it? Since its the bosses son, I’m sure that won’t go over very well, most of my co-workers don’t seem to like me because I practice my Catholic faith.

Start by returning the RSVP card as NO. If the son asks you at work, tell him you have another family gathering to attend. Then make sure you have a family gathering to attend!

 

[Maureen1125]

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=167154

The Church does not explicitly forbid Catholics from attending presumptively-invalid marriages. Catholics must use their own prudential judgment in making the decision, keeping in mind the need to uphold the Catholic understanding of the sanctity of marriage. One rule of thumb that may be helpful in making such decisions might be to ask yourself if you believe the couple is doing the best that they can to act honorably and according to the truth that they have. So, for example, you might decide to attend the presumptively-invalid wedding of a couple who is expecting a child; but decline to attend the presumptively-invalid wedding of a couple who have engaged in adultery and destroyed previous marriages and families.

This is just a small part of the answer. The link will take you to a post - here on CAF that was in the Ask an Apologist section. I hope this helps

 

[Phemie]

1. What about a gift, if one doesn’t go, do they still buy a gift? I would say no, if one does not attend, one does not buy a gift, unless they are close friends and you truly do send your regrets on not attending.

Wedding gift etiquette says that if you are formally invited to a wedding you give a gift whether or not you attend, unless you live very far away and have not much contact with the family. Where it is your boss’s child, I would definitely send a gift.

 

[Spirithound]

Wedding gift etiquette says that if you are formally invited to a wedding you give a gift whether or not you attend, unless you live very far away and have not much contact with the family. Where it is your boss’s child, I would definitely send a gift.

I stand corrected and I will internalize this
Thanks!

 

[Aramis]

I have several questions to ask in this thread.

A co-worker of mine (my bosses son) is getting married this summer, it is his 1st marriage. He is a baptized Catholic (and confirmed), he is a fallen away Catholic, its been 10 years or better since he’s been to Mass. The girl he’s going to marry is not of any faith, and this is her 1st marriage too. They are getting married at a country club, the reception will be at the same place. I’m 99.9% sure a priest will NOT be present to witness this.

So here are my questions:

1. Is this a valid marriage (in the eyes of the Church)?
2. Is it a sin to attend this wedding?
3. Should we attend the wedding, or the reception or neither (or both)?
4. What about a gift, if one doesn’t go, do they still buy a gift?
5. If I don’t go, how should I handle it? Since its the bosses son, I’m sure that won’t go over very well, most of my co-workers don’t seem to like me because I practice my Catholic faith.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

1: No. Invalid by lack of form. Catholics, even fallen away, who have not formally defected are still bound under pain of mortal sin by canon law, which states:
Can. 1086 §1. A marriage between two persons, one of whom has been baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it and has not defected from it by a formal act and the other of whom is not baptized, is invalid.

§2. A person is not to be dispensed from this impediment unless the conditions mentioned in cann. ⇒ 1125 and ⇒ 1126 have been fulfilled.

1. Probably. You know it’s invalid, therefore you should not be present, and may not participate.
2. Neither.
3. The best gift in such cases is an explanation of why one can’t go.
4. “Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.
   Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.”
   Ain’t easy being Catholic. You are called to be the light of truth.