Is this considered a lie....?

[Cupcake143]

My friend was telling me about this girl that her ex-boyfriend’s brother was going on a date with, and said her name and where she worked… her name and where she worked was the same as this girl who my sister is friends with (but i never met her). My friend mentioned that she was blonde. So, when I went home I asked my sister if her friend was blonde, and she said “no, why”, so i just explained to her why i thought it was her.

The next day, my sister texted me saying that it was her bc she said she went on a date that day to the movies with the guy who i was talking about… but she said she doesn’t have blonde hair. We were just txting back n forth about it , and my sister just said dont say anything to my friend. But, I just texted my friend asking if she was blonde and short, she said yes and that was it, i didn’t go on with it. When I went home, me and my sister were talking about it and stuff and i was saying it’s weird that my friend said she was blonde. My sister asked if i said anything to my friend and i said no. I didn’t really thnk that asking her if she was blonde and short mattered, so i didn’t say anything. But, now that i think about it, was i lying?? and is this a mortal sin? sorry, i am a bit scrupulous i think.

 

[Catholic90]

Sounds like teen girl gossip and drama. Stay away!

 

[puzzleannie]

why is anyone interested in the dating history of third parties?

 

[1ke]

I don’t understand how you think YOU are lieing by asking a question. This makes no sense.

Get help for your scrupulosity from your priest.

 

[Barbkw]

But, now that i think about it, was i lying?? and is this a mortal sin? sorry, i am a bit scrupulous i think.

Perhaps your confusion will be cleared up.

Gossip - Detraction - Calumny

catholicism.about.com/od/Catholic-Dictionary/g/Detraction-Definition-Of-Detraction.htm

Detraction is an act which tends toward:

destroying the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

Yet the most seemingly innocuous gossip can easily slip into detraction, and, as you delight in the attention of your hearer, even into calumny. It’s no surprise that many of the early Fathers of the Church regarded gossiping and backbiting to be among the most common, and yet most dangerous, of sins.

 

[Buck_Crosswhite]

It wasn’t a grave matter so it wasn’t a mortal sin. Still, you shouldn’t lie even about little things.

 

[Barbkw]

I don’t understand how you think YOU are lieing by asking a question. This makes no sense.

Get help for your scrupulosity from your priest.

She’s not scrupulous. She’s becoming spiritually aware that there is an enormous difference between how society lives and how a Christian lives and acts toward others.

 

[Cupcake143]

I don’t understand how you think YOU are lieing by asking a question. This makes no sense.

Get help for your scrupulosity from your priest.

I was referring to when my sister asked me if i had said anything to my friend about her friend… i said no to her, but i did technically say something… i just felt like when my sister asked if i said anything, she meant about me knowing that she’s my sister’s fiend, etc. I didn’t think me asking if she was blonde or not was important, but i still had texted my friend asking about her and i didn’t tell my sister that. It’s kind of confusing, but i didn’t mean of me asking a question was a sin or not.

 

[Cupcake143]

She’s not scrupulous. She’s becoming spiritually aware that there is an enormous difference between how society lives and how a Christian lives and acts toward others.

Thank you

 

[Cupcake143]

Perhaps your confusion will be cleared up.

Gossip - Detraction - Calumny

catholicism.about.com/od/Catholic-Dictionary/g/Detraction-Definition-Of-Detraction.htm

Just to be clear, I was not gossiping or making up any rumors. I was simply asking my friend a question bc I wanted to see if it was the same girl who my sister is friend’s with, that’s all.

 

[bmullins]

Was it a lie? The simple answer is, when you were asked did you respond with the truth? Was it a serious thing? Likely not. In fact you were likely trying to prevent the lie that you were being told by one or the other from turning into something more serious. If it were me, I’d just avoid the situation altogether and wait for whoever is doing the lying about the hair or whatever for whatever reason is ready to talk about it, and if they aren’t just to avoid it.

 

[1ke]

I was referring to when my sister asked me if i had said anything to my friend about her friend… i said no to her, but i did technically say something… i just felt like when my sister asked if i said anything, she meant about me knowing that she’s my sister’s fiend, etc. I didn’t think me asking if she was blonde or not was important, but i still had texted my friend asking about her and i didn’t tell my sister that. It’s kind of confusing, but i didn’t mean of me asking a question was a sin or not.

I’ve read other posts of yours and I do believe you should discuss your over-analysis of every little thing with your priest. This is scrupulous behavior. Parsing out your actions into minute little details and then trying to determine if there was a lie or a sin anywhere in there is outside the norm, behavior-wise.

 

[dandingo]

My friend was telling me about this girl that her ex-boyfriend’s brother was going on a date with, and said her name and where she worked… her name and where she worked was the same as this girl who my sister is friends with (but i never met her). My friend mentioned that she was blonde. So, when I went home I asked my sister if her friend was blonde, and she said “no, why”, so i just explained to her why i thought it was her.

The next day, my sister texted me saying that it was her bc she said she went on a date that day to the movies with the guy who i was talking about… but she said she doesn’t have blonde hair. We were just txting back n forth about it , and my sister just said dont say anything to my friend. But, I just texted my friend asking if she was blonde and short, she said yes and that was it, i didn’t go on with it. When I went home, me and my sister were talking about it and stuff and i was saying it’s weird that my friend said she was blonde. My sister asked if i said anything to my friend and i said no. I didn’t really thnk that asking her if she was blonde and short mattered, so i didn’t say anything. But, now that i think about it, was i lying?? and is this a mortal sin? sorry, i am a bit scrupulous i think.

I’ve read multiple books and threads on this forum on philosophy, moral theology and the existence of God and this one post gave me more of a headache than all three combined.

It is awesome that you’re worried about it, though. Avoid young drama as much as possible.

 

[Barbkw]

Just to be clear, I was not gossiping or making up any rumors. I was simply asking my friend a question bc I wanted to see if it was the same girl who my sister is friend’s with, that’s all.

In our relationships, we all need to consider the all around implications of detraction.

Telling the truth about another person’s “foibles” to another person (who doesn’t need to know them) detracts their dignity.

This type of detractive gossip about other people is unfortuneately so “normal” in our society (and sometimes required within cliques) that most people don’t realize it as sin.