Well I’ve had a boyfriend for around 5 months, and I’ve come to love him very much. He’s nothing but sweet to me and has been my best friend and companion for almost a year, as we just got together in March. Though… He is a transgendered male, as he is biologically female. I feel very conflicted now… as I love him so much. I don’t want to lose him. He also wants to enter the Catholic faith, but I’m uncertain how I should go about this. It pains me so much to think that we might not be able to stay together, he’s the love of my life…
This is an extremely awkward and no doubt painful situation for you. I’m sorry you’re in it. But let’s be clear about something. Sex is a biological fact. The configuration of your genitals are one expression of sex but they are not your sex in its entirety. Which means changing your genitals doesn’t change your sex. If, today, I lost my genitals in a car accident, I would still be a man. Because my maleness does not consist in my having male genitals.
You say your “boyfriend” is biologically female. OK, well, that means your “boyfriend” is, in fact, a female – “femaleness” being a biological fact which no external surgery can change. Which means you don’t have a boyfriend, you have a girlfriend.
Since you are, presumably, also a female, that means you are involved in a same-sex romantic relationship. I hope you understand that this
is forbidden. It means that your relationship (at least the romantic elements of it) must end. It’s up to you, as a matter of prudence, to decide the level of contact you can both sustain that will not prove a near occasion of sin.
You are fortunate in that yours has been a relatively short relationship. It is perhaps imprudent to be declaring this person the “love of your life” on the basis of so short a time together. I promise you that you can leave and move on and you will be fine.
