Is This Detraction? (Mortal Sin)

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sydney101

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I went to a job interview last week and I thought the lady who interviewed me was kind of abrupt and rude. She came across as arrogant and condescending, at least that was how I interpreted she was.

Afterwards, I spoke to my parents about how the interview went and how I thought the lady came across. I thought at the time that maybe I shouldn’t have done it but I thought it was just having a conversation and explaining how the interview went. I wasn’t trying to smear her name or anything but now knowing more about detraction I’m unsure if I committed it?

Is it okay to just have these conversations and explain things like that or is it wrong?
 
I think you are fine. Private conversation just relaying the facts and how you feel.

It sounds like a learning experience. There are all kinds of people out there. I pray the next interview goes better!
 
  1. Raise this issue with your parish priest.
  2. Was it your intention to have your parents think unkindly of this person?
  3. Were you upset over what occured and needed to get it off your chest and so confided to your parents?
  4. Did you tell them because you felt that as your parents they would want to know how the interview went and so you were just relaying what had occurred?
  5. Did you say, “I felt she treated me rather rudely and was abrupt” or did you phrase it more along the lines of an accusation/statement of fact?
Fr J. Hardon SJ has written on this Commandments of God - Detraction and Calumny, wherein he mentions an examples of someone telling their parents.

I myself have been told that we are permitted to tell one trustworthy friend of our troubles/an injustice one has suffered (in your case parents) for the purpose of getting their advice e.g. what to do/how to handle a situation or seeking consolation (support, sympathy, empathy) and that this is not detraction.
 
You told your parents, not the lady’s boss or the local TV news station looking for dirt on the lady. It’s fine to talk to your close family members about somebody who annoyed you. Venting is what families are for. You keep it in the family.

Also, if the lady came across as arrogant to you, that’s how she came across and you’re allowed to be honest and say so in your private conversations.
 
I went for a job interview today and my husband asked me how it went, I told him how I felt it went. That’s what families are there for, they are there to support us, to talk to us about our frustrations and to listen to us when we occasionally need to vent, I can come home from work and moan about something that bothered me til my hearts content and I know it’s not going to go any further than that and most of the time it won’t even change his opinion of the person in venting about
 
I think it’s good to discuss a job interview with trusted persons for some feedback on how you did. I have interviewed more people than I have been interviewed. I have been lied to and have had things misrepresented to me. We had small groups interview each candidate and we had to share our impressions, just to compare notes and choose the most promising candidates.

I think it’s fair to decompress after a job interview to get some trusted feedback. But, we should not go beyond the truth about what happened in the interview. And, it would not be good to talk to too many people about it. If you leave names out of it, you can step back from the brink of sinning.
 
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