Is this good confessional advice from a Priest?

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Mattjolley

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A Priest told me that ‘lustful thoughts’ should be seen like flies, they come unexpectedly most of the time, and they can frustrate us if we allow them too much attention/chase after them.

He reasoned that we should ignore them as we would ignore the fly and by not paying heed to it, there is no sin. In other words, we ought to try and swat the thought away asap. He also said though, it is unhealthy and dangerous to ‘repress’ these thoughts because that often makes you concentrate on them even more!

So if a thought is fleeting, and not acted upon, are we ok?? His advice just seemed a little off compared to things ive heard in the confessional before. A little more easy going if you will.

He went on to say that in this light i should not worry about ‘mortal sin’ and just treat these thoughts accordingly and try to continue my day with a prayer or something else to focus the mind elsewhere. it all just seemed a little odd!
 
Strange analogy on the part of the priest, but I think it was well-meant. We know there are three conditions required for a sin to be mortal, and I would say that when it comes to thoughts of any kind, the crucial condition is that of “full consent”. One has very little control over what thoughts come into one’s head, so it seems to me that what is important is not that one had a particular thought - lustful or otherwise - but rather what one does with the thought. If an impure thought was wilfully entertained or perhaps even acted upon then the gravity of the sin could be increased and hence become a mortal sin.

I must say, I am a bit puzzled about what he said about ignoring the thoughts but then going on to say that repressing them can be unhealthy and dangerous. Did he offer any advice as to how one should go about dealing with (i.e. ignoring as he said) the thoughts in such a way that doing so is not dangerous to your health? In ways this seems like a bit of a conundrum, yet I know some people would merely suggest taking a cold shower or some vigorous exercise to deal successfully with lustful thoughts, but it is understandable that others, by not dealing directly with their problems could become absolutely and unhealthily consumed by them.
 
I think it is a very good analogy. We all experience random or fleeting thoughts that crop up unexpectedly. They can be extremely frustrating and distracting but I think it only becomes sinful when you dwell on them or or give them substance or as your priest says “chase after them” Read Matt 5:28.
 
He is correct. Temptation is not sin. Even Jesus was tempted in the bible, three times in the desert. However, what did Jesus do, did he fall to temptation or did he tell the devil to beat it.

How we react to temptation can be a moment of grace or a moment of sin. That’s why we have a free will. However, I can tell you this, that if you avoid occasions of sin, go to regular daily mass and communion you have alot more ammunition to resist temptation. Prayer is the first step. 👍
 
Very good advice from your priest. If the thoughts are bothering you (and they obviously are since you brought them up in confession) then focussing on them the entire time will make the an obsession.

The same advice is given to people suffering from unwanted obsessive thoughts. If you try and supress them then they come back double as strong. “observe them” register that they exist then move on to the next thought - then they will not take up so much space in your head!
 
yes it is good advice and squares with traditional Catholic spiritual direction, Teresa for one says something similar. Do not monday-morning quarterback your confession, especially with third parties, and most especially not with strangers. It is between you and the priest, that is, you and Jesus. It is spiritually damaging to get into the habit of questioning what was said to you, how he did it, was it valid etc. What happens in the confessional stays. . . .
 
puzzleannie said:
yes it is good advice and squares with traditional Catholic spiritual direction, Teresa for one says something similar. Do not monday-morning quarterback your confession, especially with third parties, and most especially not with strangers. It is between you and the priest, that is, you and Jesus. It is spiritually damaging to get into the habit of questioning what was said to you, how he did it, was it valid etc. What happens in the confessional stays. . . .
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Good point! But I think the poster is showing classic signs of obsessive thinking (a common occurrence if the multitude of “is this is a sin” posts on these forums is anything to go by). I.e. even when given re-assurance by an expert (i.e. the priest) the questions still won’t go away……so it can be hard to let go for some people I guess.
 
thomfra said:
Good point! But I think the poster is showing classic signs of obsessive thinking (a common occurrence if the multitude of “is this is a sin” posts on these forums is anything to go by). I.e. even when given re-assurance by an expert (i.e. the priest) the questions still won’t go away……so it can be hard to let go for some people I guess.
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Yeah, thanks for that helpful post thomfra. But then again what do I expect putting my queries onto a public forum?
 
I too think it is a pretty good analogy.
Thoughts / temptations, like flies, come unbidden. We cannot help the arriving this is true. It is also true that we should not give them undo attention. INstead, if the become too annoying or get too close, we need to swat them down.

There is a point in any thought process where a random thought is either dismissed or acted upon (either physically or mentally). It is a this point of acceptance or rejection of the thought which determines whether a sin is committed or not. The thing to do is to have a set response to such thughts that allow you to keep them away, or kill them. A devil swatter as it were.

For me, I try to use two small ejaculations when tempted, especially with impurity. The first is an urgnet request of our heavenly father to “Take me to the Foot of The Cross”. Visualize yourself there at the feet of the Crucified Lord and pray that you do not add to his burden by sinning.
The other is a prayer included in my signature below. It helps me to focus my efforts on Loving and Pleasing God.

Peace
James
 
Isn’t it a sad state of affairs in the Church that when a person gets surprising advice in the confessional, the reaction is to go to strangers on the internet to check on it?

Think about that for a second! 🤷

I totally understand the sentiment and the hesitancy to just trust what one priest says these days, but I’m not sure your alternative is an improvement!
 
Isn’t there some kind of a joke about trying not to think about something and it quickly blooms up into a monster.

That is what happens if you worry about such stray thoughts that pop up.

Also, just noticing someone is sexually attractive isn’t lust in itself, or sinful.
 
Mattjolley said:
Yeah, thanks for that helpful post thomfra. But then again what do I expect putting my queries onto a public forum?
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Don’t worry mate. I am not saying “you have obsessive compulsive disorder” or anything. Just that you seem to be obsessing over this one point…… Lustful thoughts are natural. No point stressing over ‘em.
 
I don’t think your priest was off the mark at all. If I encounter something that could lead me down the path of sin…I usually say something to myself like “Go away Satan” or a Hail Mary, or I might recite a gospel verse in my head which gets my mind back on track, or I might sing one of the songs from Church the previous Sunday.

If I were to act on the thought, then I’ve opened the door for sin. My office space at work is plastered with all sorts of things to help me stay focused on God. Ex: The Fragrance Prayer by M. Teresa of Calcutta; John 3:16; I save song lyrics on my computer so that I can reference them for the same reason.

End of rambling…😊
 
You will have lustful thoughts involuntarily regularly because of the culture we live in. Those around us, the television, the radio, advertising etc, can bring these thoughts to mind. It is only the entertaining of these thoughts that matter. If they come, dont worry too much, pray through it. Dont feel angry with yourself for that. Overcoming the temptation through prayer is of great value and increases your virtue.

Dont become bogged down in it. Increase your virtue, the sin will take care of itself.
 
It’s normal for those thoughts to “pop up”, the question is whether you consciously try to think about them/pursue them when they do pop up.

So I’d say his analogy is good. When a thought pops up, say a prayer, turn on the radio, whatever. Don’t consciously try to “push the thought out” because then you think about it! Know what I mean?
 
Mattjolley,

James 1:14: “Rather, each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire conceives and brings forth sin, and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death.”

This tells me that temptation is not unusual and may not be a sin, even if enticed by one’s own desire. However, remember that desire, if not contained, can conceive and bring forth sin. Now if a person allows the desire to reach maturity and acts on it, then it gives birth to mortal sin, or death. The desire brought on by temptation should be dispelled immediately from one’s mind as soon as it makes itself known.
 
A thought about the Father’s comment about “repression”.

In my youth I had impure thoughts and I struggled against them. One day I decided that if impure thoughts came to mind I would simply reject them, just stamp them out. So that is what I did.

Well, immediately I started having the most lurid, lewd, explicit, erotic dreams. Every night I would have these dreams. They made my occasional impure thoughts look like new driven snow in comparison. I realized that by rejecting my impure thoughts I was driving them into my subconscious which caused them to rear their ugly heads in my dreams.

So I stopped rejecting the impure thoughts. When one would come to me, I would recognize it - “yes, I see you impure thought, but I refuse to dwell on you” and then I would continue with whatever task was currently on my plate. The lewd dreams stopped and after a while, for the most part the impure thoughts stopped too.
 
Marsha_Adams said:
A thought about the Father’s comment about “repression”.

In my youth I had impure thoughts and I struggled against them. One day I decided that if impure thoughts came to mind I would simply reject them, just stamp them out. So that is what I did.

Well, immediately I started having the most lurid, lewd, explicit, erotic dreams. Every night I would have these dreams. They made my occasional impure thoughts look like new driven snow in comparison. I realized that by rejecting my impure thoughts I was driving them into my subconscious which caused them to rear their ugly heads in my dreams.

So I stopped rejecting the impure thoughts. When one would come to me, I would recognize it - “yes, I see you impure thought, but I refuse to dwell on you” and then I would continue with whatever task was currently on my plate. The lewd dreams stopped and after a while, for the most part the impure thoughts stopped too.
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Well Said and Well Done!!!

Peace
james
 
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