Is this grounds for an annulment?

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Ron_Conte said:
If spouse A lies about his/her sexual history, and spouse B would not have consented to marriage except for that lie, then the couple has possible grounds for annulment. But the specifics of the case must be considered.
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Thing is, if they are married, then I’d question the integrity and maturity of the spouse that wants an anullment for this reason.
I mean, there must have been something that they saw in the other person that made them want to marry them.

I think it’s grand to have a broad preference for “a virgin”. But people lie out of shame and sorrow. Not saying it’s good, just saying that if you love a person then it seems shallow to leave them because they didn’t tell you about every sin they committed in this area before marriage.
 
I see your point, but is it shallow to be concerned about venereal diseases? If spouse A purposely saved sex for marriage and Spouse B only revealed one or two individual sexual encounters as to mislead spouse A in order to protect themself, would this not amount to fraud? Are individuals entering into marriage not encouraged to be completely open with each other?

having sex once or twice years before you met your spouse is one thing. HPV is likely to have cleared up and any other diseases would have made themselves known through symptoms. However, if spouse B was having sex regularly up until a month or two before they met spouse B, (and they were married a few months later) this seems like an issue. Is it not?
 
Mary67 said:
Are individuals entering into marriage not encouraged to be completely open with each other?
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Yes but there is no obligation to reveal everything.

Really there’s no material difference between having sex years ago and more recently. Of he met you and then decided to go to confession and love only you then that constitutes a change in his attitude.
He also may have gotten tested for STI’s and was clear. He’d have no obligation to tell you this information.

I’d say the fact that you met and got married within a such a short time might be greater grounds for annulment than the sex thing.
 
AdamP88 said:
I’d say the fact that you met and got married within a such a short time might be greater grounds for annulment than the sex thing.
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First, I never said I was talking about myself. Second, I disagree with you here. If spouse A and B followed church regulations when getting married I do not see how that would make it invalid. That is your opinion.
 
thistle said:
Why would not knowing about your husband’s sexual history before you married be grounds for a divorce?
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Sounds more likely that this would be “My wife and her family claimed she was a virgin but after our wedding I learned she wasn’t. Can I divorce/ annul our marriage and marry a virgin since wife lied to me?”

I personally think it’s stupid either way.
 
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If you’re that worried about STDs, get tested by the doctor before you get hitched. My husband and I did. It’s only common sense, and any responsible couple would happily do this for each other.
 
Mary67 said:
I never said I was talking about myself.
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Sorry for the assumption.
Mary67 said:
If spouse A and B followed church regulations when getting married I do not see how that would make it invalid
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It doesn’t automatically make it invalid. But it certainly could indicate that the spouses didn’t treat it with the seriousness it deserves.

Also, most parishes require several months notice to marry.
 
AdamP88 said:
Also, most parishes require several months notice to marry.
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And that might be a problem as well. Young people today may know each other very well, for years in fact, and when they decide they’d like to get married there is a six month waiting period (sometimes longer…) before they can be properly married.

For those who are older, lets say in their sixties, six months waiting might be a long time to wait.

The only real answer is leading a Catholic life and maybe we wouldn’t have to have extra Pre-Cana classes. I have not found out if they have improved the divorce rates among Catholics.

I do know NFP has a pretty good record, but how many RC Mass attending follow it?
 
The primary question is, would you have broken the engagement, called off the wedding if you knew these details of your then fiance’s sex life?

If so, then, it is time to have a meeting with the priest, best priest would be the one who did your marriage prep.

Edited to add: VD. Both potential spouses getting tested is only prudent. One CAN be a virgin and have contracted STIs/VD. More than 60% of us walking around carry HSV.

The question goes back to would the proverbial you have ended the marriage if their potential spouse had cold sores or something worse?
 
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That’s why I roll my eyes whenever I read comments here on CAF criticizing those who want to marry virgins.

Why is it that people have to be giving way to repentant non-virgins, but not when it comes to being have a past ddiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or past unemployment?

It seems that some sins or mistakes are forgivable, but some aren’t.

An individual gets married to someone in order to be married, not to acquire an STD.
 
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fin said:
Why is it that people have to be giving way to repentant non-virgins,
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Nobody is saying that people should lie about the past. But massive detail is not required. It’s enough to say you’re not a virgin and you have repented or have being living chastely.

STDs can be tested for and I would imagine it would be prudent that anyone who has fallen in certain ways should get tested.

All things can be forgiven but I actually think having a drug problem has much more serious implications for a marriage than having slept with a girlfriend when you were 20.
 
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fin said:
That’s why I roll my eyes whenever I read comments here on CAF criticizing those who want to marry virgins.
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It’s not so much criticism of those who want to marry virgins. It’s more of people who would reject someone on the grounds that they had fallen in this area.

I think everyone “wants” the person they marry to have saved themselves. It is the ideal and it a noble thing. The problem is when you pursue this aspect so single mindedly that you rule out a good person because of it.
 
AdamP88 said:
STDs can be tested for and I would imagine it would be prudent that anyone who has fallen in certain ways should get tested.
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STDs can be acquired by lily pure virgins. Granny has a cold sore and gives you a kiss, your best friend has a cold sore and borrows your lipstick, and ZOIK you have HSV for life!
fin said:
but not when it comes to being have a past ddiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or past unemployment?
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Wow! Getting laid off is equal with a meth addiction?
 
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Again, to stay PG. Both strains are communicable. The HSV 1 can be transmitted sexually, it can infect below the waist, it is incurable. HSV 2 can manifest itself on the mouth only and be transmitted by non-sexual contact.

We just find it distasteful to say sweet Uncle Joe has Herpes on his lip.
 
Yes, you can. HPV can be transmitted from skin to skin contact, sharing razors, mothers can transmit HPV or HIV to their unborn children.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Yes, you can. HPV can be transmitted from skin to skin contact, sharing razors, mothers can transmit HPV or HIV to their unborn children.
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Yeah. And those are like the only exceptions to that rule.

It’s also not called an STD if you don’t contract it sexually.

What point are you trying to make? Genital herpes is not transmitted through shaking hands or kissing. Cold sores are not an STD.

My original point is just that if you engaged in sex with someone else before meeting your wife you should get tested. It seems fairly common sense.
 
AdamP88 said:
Yeah. And those are like the only exceptions to that rule.

It’s also not called an STD if you don’t contract it sexually.

What point are you trying to make? Genital herpes is not transmitted through shaking hands or kissing. Cold sores are not an STD.

My original point is just that if you engaged in sex with someone else before meeting your wife you should get tested. It seems fairly common sense.
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www.stdcheck.com

Can You Get an STD Without Having Sex? | STDCheck.com

You can get STDs without having sex by doing things like kissing a loved one, conducting oral, sharing food, borrowing towels, and more.
www.stdcheck.com www.stdcheck.com
 
My point is people have different standards for the things they want in a spouse… People here tend to be judgmental when others do not agree with theirs. Just because you are okay with being someone who was promiscuous or not a virgin even monogamously does not give one the right to criticize those who prefer otherwise.

And you gave he example of sleeping with someone while young and drug addiction. Both are unfavorable, and as to the degree of unfavorability, this varies. In fact for some, being a non virgin is okay. Some people also don’t mind the meth addiction in their partners, whethsr among ordinary people or celebrities.
 
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