Is this grounds for an annulment?

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Some people would screen out marrying someone unemployed, as of that person committed the unforgivable sin. They also screen out prospective marriage partners because they do not earn an X amount of money.

Like I said, people have different standards for choosing a partner. It may sound ludicrous to others, but not to them.
 
fin said:
Like I said, people have different standards for choosing a partner. It may sound ludicrous to others, but not to them.
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Yeah. But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about whether or not a certain “standard” is odd or indicative of an unhealthy or shallow view.
fin said:
Just because you are okay with being someone who was promiscuous or not a virgin even monogamously does not give one the right to criticize those who prefer otherwise.
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Judgemental much…

There’s this thing called “free speech” which actually means I DO have the right to criticise whatever I wish.

It’s not black and white. I’m not saying people shouldn’t have a preference. I’m saying virginity is not necessarily a sign of virtue. And it is shallow to place virginity over whether or not someone is currently practicing chastity. The latter is a much more reliable indicator of virtue.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Again, to stay PG. Both strains are communicable. The HSV 1 can be transmitted sexually, it can infect below the waist, it is incurable. HSV 2 can manifest itself on the mouth only and be transmitted by non-sexual contact.

We just find it distasteful to say sweet Uncle Joe has Herpes on his lip.
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HSV 2 is not limited to the mouth. While it’s true that it can be transmitted through non-sexual contact, which is why I had a fit when my SIL wanted to kiss my baby while she had a cold sore, it can also be transmitted to the genitals through sexual contact.
 
For you it is shallow, for them it is not.

Take note that you yourself might have standards others deem shallow or narrow minded or silly or odd.

Some people want a partner who is taller, a college graduate, a same culture or religion, i have interacted with faithful Catholics who want to marry another faithful Catholic, and another criteria is has a car. If he does not have a car, they say it is a no go for them. For you this might sound silly, for them it is not.

Their marriage and partner, their prerogative. Easy to be outside and judge people how they want to choose a partner.

A personal example, before I have expressed to someone that I want to marry a Catholic. They said i does not mztter if he is Catholic or not.

For them, I was being picky and exclusive. For other faithful Catholics, they thought I was reasonable and okay for holding on o that.
 
fin said:
If he does not have a car, they say it is a no go for them. For you this might sound silly, for them it is not.
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That is silly.

But again, I’m not saying it is not their right to have a particular criteria. I’m saying that certain criteria are simply not good.

Marrying someone of the same faith makes sense. Or even someone from the same cultural background.
Not continuing to date someone who is a drug addict or who has been extremely promiscuous is also sensible.

But I’m saying there is a difference between promiscuity and having had one sexual relationship and then realising that it was a bad call and going back to chastity.

Wanting to marry a virgin is fine in theory, but if you carry that over to real life then you are cutting out people who may not be living chastity, and may actually be a good marriage partner. Also if you are putting virginity over all else, that is a bit weird to be honest.
 
And testing for stds is not fool proof.

Actions have consequences. A chastity speaker told of a case of a man who was formerly promiscuous, but now lived a chaste lifestyle and is faithful to his wife, a good husband and father to four children. Later on he was found to have a sexually related cancer. It wasn’t found pr existed before that round of testing. He did undergo testing for stds prior to his marriage People here on Caf are so naive to think that doctors and medical tests have all the answers.
 
I saw a friends’ marriage of 20 + years almost blow up because the husband woke up one morning with a Herpes outbreak below his waist. He believed the common myth that it is a sexually transmitted only. Turns out, his wife had contracted HSV 1 from her best friend (they had a habit of sharing makeup). Testing confirmed that his outbreak was HSV1.

IIRC the estimate is 67% of adults have one form of HSV.
 
To compare shallow standards (what car they drive) to the most important standard (shared faith) shows that you have some maturing to do. These two things are not equal in the least.
 
Wait now my daughter’s third baby 5 years into her marriage was 4 weeks early and over 8 pounds.🤣
 
I never said it was my standards. Read my original post. I was referring to the standards some people have. People here do not read carefully.
 
I never also mentioned what car they drove. What I said that, some people require that tehir marriage partner has a car, not specifying what brand or model they are using.

You guys do not read carefully.
 
Mature people find any and all decisions process that weigh the value of a marriage partner based on an automobile to be shallow (except if the potential spouse is a car thief, that would be a deal breaker).
 
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