Is this hypocritical?

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My dad once an agnostic started to going to church with me and the family after we attended a Charasmatic meeting. He’s not Catholic. Me and my moms side of the family are. He’s been going with us to a Roman Catholic Church. He opposes practices of the Roman Catholic church such as baptism, praying to saints, infant baptisms, confessing to a priest, and many more. He even says the pope and the Roman Catholic church are evil. I find this to be very hypocritical that he says all this and goes to a Roman Catholic church. He says it’s not being hypocritical at all. It’s bothered me so much that I refuse to go to church with him. I only go when my dad doesn’t come along. He says I’m going to hell, which I find absolutely hiliarous. He hasn’t had his communion, so of course he doesn’t take “the body or blood of Christ”. I find it to be really funny because Jesus taught us not to be hypocritical and he is. Do any of you find this to be hypocritical at all?
 
Perhaps what your father is doing is hypocritical, but I don’t think your approach is the right one. The best place for your father to be is in Mass! Perhaps God is working on his heart. As long as he’s being respectful during the Mass itself (i.e. not making rude comments aloud or something like that), and not trying to take Communion, I would be overjoyed that he wanted to attend.

Also, you, as a Catholic, have an obligation to go to Mass every Sunday, and you’re not setting a particularly good or loving example for your father if you refuse to go when he comes. Your father has said (and is continuing to say) some pretty hurtful things, but that doesn’t give you the right to say he doesn’t deserve to come to Mass with you.
 
He does make rude and blasphemous comments. He’s said some derogatory comments about the priest. Calling him a fag. And even worse. One time we were at Mass, they were talking about Lee Harvery Oswald and he said God bless him for killing JFK. I think that was on Easter sunday.
 
I have come to believe that the only way to help someone away from this kind of behavior is to show by example that it is not only possible to be good and happy at the same time, but that it is impossible to be completely happy without being completely good- of course we all fail at this, but the less we fail to be good, the less we fail to be happy, and the more successful we will be at leading by example.

Anything else just tends to make a person defensive and more set in their ways.

"“Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.”- Mother Teresa of Calcutta
 
I think he should further study The Church and truly understand what it teaches. Don’t be mad at him.
 
GodSavesAll said:
My dad once an agnostic started to going to church with me and the family after we attended a Charasmatic meeting. He’s not Catholic. Me and my moms side of the family are. He’s been going with us to a Roman Catholic Church. He opposes practices of the Roman Catholic church such as baptism, praying to saints, infant baptisms, confessing to a priest, and many more. He even says the pope and the Roman Catholic church are evil. I find this to be very hypocritical that he says all this and goes to a Roman Catholic church. He says it’s not being hypocritical at all. It’s bothered me so much that I refuse to go to church with him. I only go when my dad doesn’t come along. He says I’m going to hell, which I find absolutely hiliarous. He hasn’t had his communion, so of course he doesn’t take “the body or blood of Christ”. I find it to be really funny because Jesus taught us not to be hypocritical and he is. Do any of you find this to be hypocritical at all?
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No I don’t see your father as being hypocritical.
He believes what he believes and says so. He then goes to Catholic mass and acts respectfully in not taking communion. I see nothing hypocritical in this.
Have you ever asked him why he chooses to go to mass when he does not believe?

What I do see as hypocritical is your refusal to attend mass with him. What possible harm can there be in attending with a non-believer? What possible benefit might be derived from such attendance? In this I see you heralding your belief in Chrisitanity, but then refusing to “Dine with sinners” - something that the Pharasees accused Jesus of, to which responded, in essence, “It’s the sinners who need me the most”!!!

Sorry if the above seems harsh, but it is important that you carefully consider the reasons for your actions and words before considering his.
Of course I realize there is much we cannot know here about the situation so forgive me if I am out lf line here. I am just commenting on what has been presented. (and also without having read any of the other posts.)

Peace
James

EDIT: I see that in a later post you clarified that he does speak badly while at church, though you are not clear if it is actually during the service and if it is disruptive in any way (or under his breath).
This does not alter my previous comment about examining your own postion in this. It is up to you to show Chrisitan Charity and the harder the “nut” to crack the more charity it requires.

James
 
GodSavesAll said:
. Do any of you find this to be hypocritical at all?
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my opinion has no value, and I cannot express one, as I have no knowledge of the state of your dad’s soul, and either do you. You for your part are called to honor your father. That is the commandment. Spend you time and energy being the best Catholic you can be, that will do more for your father than anything else. Jesus also told us not to judge others.
 
GodSavesAll said:
My dad once an agnostic started to going to church with me and the family after we attended a Charasmatic meeting. He’s not Catholic. Me and my moms side of the family are. He’s been going with us to a Roman Catholic Church. He opposes practices of the Roman Catholic church such as baptism, praying to saints, infant baptisms, confessing to a priest, and many more. He even says the pope and the Roman Catholic church are evil. I find this to be very hypocritical that he says all this and goes to a Roman Catholic church. He says it’s not being hypocritical at all. It’s bothered me so much that I refuse to go to church with him. I only go when my dad doesn’t come along. He says I’m going to hell, which I find absolutely hiliarous. He hasn’t had his communion, so of course he doesn’t take “the body or blood of Christ”. I find it to be really funny because Jesus taught us not to be hypocritical and he is. Do any of you find this to be hypocritical at all?
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I’m in two minds about this. You said he was once agnostic but started going after you attended a charismatic meeting. Did you only go to one Charismatic meeting, or were you going for a while? Was it a Catholic or Protestant charismatic meeting?

As far as I can see he’s either picked up a lot of fundamentalist Protestant ideas, or he’s doing nothing more than trying to niggle you into giving up your faith. I had a father who was quite capable of doing the latter, but that may be unfair to your father.

It’s one of those two - either he’s picked up a whole heap of junk from fundamentalists, or he’s just picking at your faith because he’s still agnostic. If it’s the first, he’s not hypocritical, but he is misguided. If it’s the second, he’s plain vindictive. Until you are sure of his motives, it’s a bit difficult to decide if he’s being hypocritical.
 
puzzleannie said:
my opinion has no value, and I cannot express one, as I have no knowledge of the state of your dad’s soul, and either do you. You for your part are called to honor your father. That is the commandment. Spend you time and energy being the best Catholic you can be, that will do more for your father than anything else. Jesus also told us not to judge others.
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Regardless he’s obnoxious and abusive. He tells me constantly I’m going to hell for serveral reason. For example, he says if I dont get baptized in a river, I’m, for sure going to hell. I shouldnt judge him but he should judge me? He’s trying to convince me not be Catholic. He talks negatively about the priest, even says blasphemous things during Mass. He says the Catholic church is evil yet he goes to one. If that’s not hypocritical, I dont know what is. That’s like me, a black man, going to a KKK rally.
 
GodSavesAll said:
Regardless he’s obnoxious and abusive. He tells me constantly I’m going to hell for serveral reason. For example, he says if I dont get baptized in a river, I’m, for sure going to hell. I shouldnt judge him but he should judge me? He’s trying to convince me not be Catholic. He talks negatively about the priest, even says blasphemous things during Mass. He says the Catholic church is evil yet he goes to one. If that’s not hypocritical, I dont know what is. That’s like me, a black man, going to a KKK rally.
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No he should not judge you, but that is beside the point.
You as a Catholic should not Judge.

There is obviously a lot going on here with this man. He seems very angry. You say he is agnostic - Is that right?

Mostly it sounds like he is your cross to bear for the time being. God is teaching you patience and forebearance. The more abusive he is, the more Christian you need to be. Pray for inspiration to be able to show your Christianity in ways that will both “show him up” and also enlighten him.

I wonder if there are any saints stories that might help you in this case.
Anyone know of any?

Peace
James
 
GodSavesAll said:
Regardless he’s obnoxious and abusive. He tells me constantly I’m going to hell for serveral reason. For example, he says if I dont get baptized in a river, I’m, for sure going to hell. I shouldnt judge him but he should judge me? He’s trying to convince me not be Catholic. He talks negatively about the priest, even says blasphemous things during Mass. He says the Catholic church is evil yet he goes to one. If that’s not hypocritical, I dont know what is. That’s like me, a black man, going to a KKK rally.
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To be honest, the impression I’'m getting is that he’s still agnostic. A real fundamentalist wouldn’t even set foot inside a Catholic church, and particulary on a regular basis.

I think he’s threatend by your faith, and frankly, he’s the one in mortal danger, not you.
 
Here’s the way of thinking I use in these situations.

Clearly he is hypocritical. However, everyone is hypocritical to one extent or another. Who are we to draw the line as to when this makes a person a “bad” person undeserving of Christian kindness?

However, on reading this it sounds more as if the issue is not whether he is hypocritical but whether the OP feels it is within his ability to deal with him, and also treat him in a Christian way.

The most important thing is that the OP should not push himself beyond his limits and attempt to do what is really up to God. If he is truly not capable of handling the father’s behavior at this time, he may have to create some distance and grow in charity first, because this is a truly challenging situation.

In other words, choose the course of action that best enables you to show love and charity to your father. If you can best be charitable to him by creating distance, then create distance. If you can best be charitable by continuing with the current situation, then do this. The important thing is to always be charitable, and of course if one is being charitable one cannot judge another person.
 
Perhaps rather than dwelling on your father’s actions and missing Mass yourself; you should attend and bear in mind your screen name, “GodSavesAll.” Offer it up, as we used to say. (Some of us still say that, but we tend to be old . . . 🙂
 
Here’s my take on it.

I feel that God is calling him to Catholicism but he is resisting, probably still sorting out in his mind what stance to take on the interpretation of the Scripures - hence his comments.

I feel that he is rude and obnoxious about the Church mostly to get a reaction out of you - he gets some sort of satisfction out of it. I have an old friend who has intellectual fundamentalist views (ie he doesn’t really believe at all) but has an obsession with the Church… plus he gets some sort of perverse fun out of dissing the Church in front of his Catholic friends… often.

You know it’s a bad move on your part to avoid Mass to avoid your father when you could simply sit somewhere else in the church you attend.
 
GodSavesAll,

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but everyone would be doing you a disservice if they didn’t give you the truth. As a Catholic, your responsibility is to forgive, honor, and pray for your father. Treat him like you would Christ. Let go of resentment and the sense of personal injury, which are rooted in pride. It doesn’t matter what your father has said or done. The way of perfection is not about what others do; it’s how about how we respond. What truly matters is that you take this opportunity to forget about yourself and surrender your will to Christ’s.

The next time he says something or you see him and your passions start stirring and you’re tempted to be resentful or angry, pray, Jesus, forgive both of us, for we are sinners in need of Your mercy! as many times as you need.
 
Like others have said, it is not for us to determine whether he is hypocritical.

That said, I wouldn’t go to Mass with somebody who made rude comments during Mass. They can say what they want to say about the Church, the pope, or whatever at home but while at Mass that is childish and even inexcusable behavior because it is disturbing to others who are there to worship. That is, unless he has some sort of problem with understanding such things.

Does he belong in church at all? Well, Jesus said the church is a hospital for sinners, so I guess that puts me in a bit of a logical bind here. 🤷

Alan
 
C’mon it’s pretty safe to say he is being hypocritical. That’s not judging him in terms of being bad or good or saying he’s going to hell like he’s been telling me. To say the Holy Roman Catholic Church is evil and attend a Roman Catholic Church when he can easily go to a non-denominational Christian church is pretty hypocritcal. Anybody with half-a-brain can see that.
 
Ok…there’s so much to go over here.

First of all, and most importantly, GO TO MASS, whether or not your father comes along. As a Catholic you are obligated to go to mass every week. Don’t let your father’s…amusing chorts:rolleyes:…to stop you. It may be annoying i know, but it’s your duty as a Catholic and you shouldn’t let him stop you.

Second, for a man who is agnostic he is sure adamant in giving you the message that you are going to hell. But that’s all besides the point. At Mass God works in glorious ways. Whether or not your father is being a hypocrite, there are a million other places for him to be during that time, and he happened to choose to be in the best place on the planet, at Mass. God is working in his heart in some way, don’t just dismiss your father. If your father has any questions direct him to any sources that will help him.

Go to mass and pray for your father. Parent’s can really **** off their children, I know, but we have to bear it and do the right thing.
 
UPDATE:

I told my dad that I posted this on here and he says you are all idiots for not stating your opinions on weather he’s hypocritical or not. He says that’s not judging him. We got into a dispute and I am currently not speaking to him

Is calling somebody evil judging them?
 
Calling someone evil is certainly presumptuous, if nothing else.

The definition of hypocritical from mirriam webster : a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not; especially : the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion.

Is he a hypocrite? Well - perhaps not. He doesn’t seem to be trying to pass himself off as a Catholic.

I would question why he is bothering to go to Church if he is agnostic. Perhaps he is being drawn in by the Holy Spirit almost against his will. But since agnostics profess not to really know the Truth, it seems awfully risky to be attending only to attack. Now, an atheist I could possibly understand… (I was an atheist for 25 years, and was pushed back into the Church by the Holy Spirit, and it was quite an uncomfortable and unsettling experience.)

It appears like his is trying to get under your skin for some reason. I can only suggest using these trials as a means to become a better Catholic.
 
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