Is this inappropriate conversation? (Update on that married guy...)

[whatevergirl]

***Yes, agreed. I never really cared for the happily married phrase, because happiness is fleeting…

But, what is a better way to look at it is if a man/woman is secure in themselves, and have a healthy marriage…they won’t want to play with fire. There could be many reasons why this man started talking about his wife in this way, not saying he is ready to jump into bed with another woman…but, it all starts somewhere. And frankly, I would die if my husband talked about me like this…ugh. It pains my stomach to even think about it.

biblio…we hope that you’re not subjected to that ever again by him!*** :hug1:

 

[AHapka]

Say hey i am just not comfortable with this conversation. If it continues then please talk to the HR department.

Another good point. Also, don’t forget to simply say “I’m not interested.”

My wife had someone flirting with her for weeks at work, and she kept finding excuses to leave. She came home one night and said she was thinking of making a sexual harassment complaint. I asked her “did you ever tell him no?” Turns out she never did, always just left. Some people need to be told very abruptly and in very plain language.

If they don’t get it then, then additional steps need to be persued, which includes HR.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

You’ve been given a great gift:

You’ve seen the real him… you used to think he was a nice guy.

Now you see he is a man with no boundaries, no discretion, no loyalty and no guts.

See, someone with guts would actually come out and say “Wanna play around?” No, he leaves it hanging in the air like a big fat question, for YOU to be the one to “misinterpret” his feelings or statements. So then he can say you came on to him and blame you.

It’s probably never his fault when things go wrong.

And now you know he doesn’t love his wife enough to find time to have intercourse. Because when you really love someone you don’t just wait till the lights are out and it’s dark outside.

Not that you should even KNOW that about his marriage details.

Did I say he has no boundaries?

Someday if you play your cards right, he could be talking to another single young coworker like that about you!

He was testing the waters, because he’s not stupid and he picked up on your earlier interest but good. He was just waiting till you were all alone.

Players always know who’s interested in them.

Now you know he can’t be trusted with confidential information.

By the way, I’d change my password on the computer if I was you. You don’t want him to have access to information about you.

Ignore his Catholicism. He’s just using that to find common ground with you. If his faith meant much he wouldn’t have betrayed his wife’s trust like that. Any information he gave you wasn’t really about his wife. It was all about him and telling you what a great guy he was.

My ex used to talk about me to people at work. God knows what he said or if any of it was true.

When a man starts talking too much about his wife and going into that detail about her past and where they met, it’s not about HER! It’s about HIM. Stop and go over that information. What you got out of it was how young or romantic he was, what kind of boyfriend he was, what a great guy he is to put up with her childhood issues, how he courted her, how he is a prince dealing with her present illness, how she leaves him alone… all stuff to make you look at him in a non-threatening and flattering way. It’s to make you let your guard down. Hey, how bad can he be if you remind him of his sister. He was building himself up at his wife’s expense. The minute he started going on about his lack of sex, he changed the game. He was opening the door for you to volunteer to fill the void. The next step is the line “we’re staying together because of the kids, but we’re living separate lives.”

From what you have told us, he’s a cad. Bet he has a history of hitting on women at the office. Wonder how many he has “worked late” with. Sit back and watch him go after the next one. Don’t be her.

God gave you an opportunity to see him clearly. Now be smart and run in the other direction.

 

[beckers]

Another good point. Also, don’t forget to simply say “I’m not interested.”

My wife had someone flirting with her for weeks at work, and she kept finding excuses to leave. She came home one night and said she was thinking of making a sexual harassment complaint. I asked her “did you ever tell him no?” Turns out she never did, always just left. Some people need to be told very abruptly and in very plain language.

If they don’t get it then, then additional steps need to be persued, which includes HR.

Yep i just wrote a huge paper on Sexual harassment in the work place for my Legal Writing class. This is the biggest problem. People are too nice or don’t want to confront someone on something. If someone is bothering you just tell them. If they don’t stop then go to HR. Don’t wait it out. The longer you wait the worst it will become and the more rights you lose under the law. The harassment policies are they for a reason. Use them.

 

[jman507]

Well I suppose if you wanted to be real nice, it would be to tell him that if he is thinking about having an affair, what he needs to do is to go back and restart the relationship with his wife. An affair may only give a very brief sense of relief, but then the problems just get many times more complicated. Lonely might be one thing, but even more broke, lonely, and having a failed marriage is another.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Saying “you remind me of my sister” is a great way to get a person to let their guard down.