Is this Jesus asking me or not?

  • Thread starter Thread starter FlowerOfMountCarmel
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
What 3rd order do you belong to ?

Also, I assume you’re not making vows, but promises ?

Myself, my wife and myself are Discalced Carmelites, Secular, OCDS.

Jim
 
Last edited:
It is true that some (not all) of the sisters at the Nashville college have doctorates–I’ve looked at the directory. But they represent well under 5% of the community. And, depending on where the sisters teach, not all need a master’s to teach in Catholic schools. I’m not trying to get into a debate. However, if someone really wants to pursue advanced studies and become a scholar, they need to look at communities where most, not just a very small percentage, of sisters pursue serious scholarship.
 
No, probably best not to assume 😊 , especially as we are both of the Carmelite family. I mean vows not promises. I am in UK not America and I was speaking advising the person also in UK, if you click on the link provided it is one of those suggested (The Leaven), just not as widely publicised as the Discalced. We don’t have any members in the US at present.

I only mentioned this as the person seemed interested in consecration and they are in UK. These orders do differ slightly across continents especially the less well known ones like those I put up in the link, though some are based in Europe I believe. I expected the poster would know or come to know of the more well known orders so thought she might be interested in our lesser known ones especially as some of them do take vows and consecrate their lives to God. I am no expert it is just another option for her to consider.
 
Last edited:
I made an assumption because as I understand it, the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites, are the only 3rd order who make vows of obedience and chastity and this is optional after the person has made definitive promises.

The other 3rd Orders make promises.

The Secular Order is different from the 3rd Order of Discalced Carmelites, in that we are not religious, but lay people, but essentially still a 3rd Order. So, those religious who are 3rd order members, may have made vows of celibacy according to their own state of life… St Pope John Paul II was a 3rd Order Discalced Carmelite and obviously made a vow of celibacy at his ordination as a deacon… Secular members do not make vows of celibacy and this is under international rule,not specific to the USA.

If your 3rd order is part of a new order, then your rule of life may be different. You’ll have to explain which order you’re part of.

Jim
 
I apologise for not getting back to everyone sooner due to deadlines and university work among other things, but I’d just like to say thank you to everyone who took the time to write such thoughtful responses with links to follow for me to investigate. It was very kind. At the moment I feel a tie between the Dominicans and the Carmelites… but that could change with further prayer and study!

Once again, thank you, though!
 
Teresa and John are for everyone. Go ahead and read up on that. Are you saying that you are drawn to contemplative Dominican? Or semi-contemplative Dominican? There are contemplative Dominicans in Ireland, and a few active congregations in the UK.

The Little Sisters of the Lamb are Dominican, despite being founded by a Franciscan.

Read the Carmelite writings first, then see where you find yourself.
 
It would be secular, I think. That way I can still be open to whatever God wants for me, even if it turns out to be marriage later on, but I’d be living an active yet contemplative lifestyle. I have issues with depression and anxiety and I think they’d be exacerbated within a convent.

ETA: They also might not let me join one if I have those problems either!
 
Last edited:
I still stand by what I said: read the Carmelite writings first, then see where your attractions are taking you – secular or religious. Depression – do you know the genesis of the condition? Was it reactionary? Depression can get in the way of childcare and being a spouse, too.
 
I will read more, I’ve read Story of a Soul, I have The Dark Night of the Soul and Teresa of Avila’s work to read next. I love mysticism! But study is what helps my mental health the most too… Being shut away can exacerbate my symptoms sometimes though.

My mental illness journey started when I was 7 years old and my father passed away quite suddenly. Like he was literally here one day, and gone the next. I never got to say goodbye to him and my school recommended to my Mother that I didn’t go to the funeral, so I didn’t say goodbye then, either. Counselling wasn’t au fair at the time and nothing was offered to me and the situation just escalated manifesting when I was an adolescent. I’m much better than I used to be (who can ask for more than that) but I still have work to do. My psychiatrist (that I was finally allowed to see following a period of extreme crisis) recommended that I educate myself as much as possible because it gives me a sense of purpose and direction, and that I maintain my Catholic faith, which I have (despite the odd wobble, more into New Age than atheism - but I’m back home to stay now).

When it comes to marriage and children, if the right person comes along, God will have to be very explicit about it because I don’t trust my own judgement. I don’t have a paternal relationship to use as a yardstick apart from the one with God and that’s not the same. I’m not sure I’m called to motherhood either because I just don’t have the same feelings around babies as some other women do. But, as I say, if I were to marry, I’d welcome them as a blessing. I have to take the Pill for medical reasons tho… what a mess I am!

Again, thank you for your time and counsel.

I just want to give back to God what He has given to me.
 
I am not a professional, but I would highly recommend you see a grief counselor. In my very unprofessional opinion, I think your depression is reactionary, hence the need for a grief counselor. Everything else you’ve described sounds like unresolved grief, as well. My sister, neice, and BIL are all funeral directors. My parents spent the last years of their lives being the night managers of the BILs funeral home. I’ve heard a lot from them regarding grief work.

When you meet the right one, believe me, you will know it. The hormones produced by pregnancy will help take care of your maternal instincts. I knew I was preggers the first time when I noticed the phenomenon of my hearing becoming sharper.

Cloister is God and the soul. The building is irrelevant. Work on detaching yourself from worldly things. Start praying the Liturgy of the Hours, etc. Sacraments and sacramentals. Get a local spiritual director. Make contact with the diocese Vocations director.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top