Should this bother me? How should I respond to this internally? I’ve been going to this parish for more than a year now, have for the most part gone to daily mass too, but the priest has never even asked my name before. He often does not make eye contact with me as I leave when he’s standing at the doors, and I’m walking out after mass. This bothers me and kind of sours me, which is probably not a very good thing, as it almost makes me not want to go to mass there, but what do you think? Should one expect a priest to have some social skills? Or am I being too overly sensitive and should just worry about how I treat others and be content when I am ignored etc??
I need some perspective on this, please. Thanks!
I’ve longed for the kind of church you suggest. I have sometimes found one of those, on occasion, where the priest will know my name, but those are usually the exception. Usually, those are where it’s very small, almost a home-type atmosphere.
I’ve found those kind more in the Newman Center type structure for some reason.
I have had times where I’ve wanted to just be included in the conversation with the pastor or priests of a parish, and most of the time, I’ve been disappointed with that. Most of the time, I’m not included. When that happens for me, it’s the exception. It’s to a point I don’t expect it, am pleasantly surprised if it does happen.
Even when I have gone to daily mass for extended periods of time, few priests have ever learned my name. I guess I also don´t expect them to.
I usually don’t look to priests for much except for mass and confession. I place few, if any, expectations on them.
Yes, I admit I would love it if they would sometimes just even include me in the conversations, not angle themselves squarely towards other parishioners in such a way as to generally exclude me.
However, it’s happened enough that I try to accept it, as something I can´t change, so I’ve stopped trying.
In Mexico, I have gone to probably a dozen churches locally, have not found my fit, so I go wherever, feeling absolutely no sense of loyalty or fellowship with any of them. I don’t have a “parish” per se…go to several.
The physical structure of churches here doesn’t help at all. They are normally very old, with bunches of stairs, making it inaccessible for my wheelchair.
Priests here normally say mass and are pretty much gone, don’t stick around. The expectations seem quite different. Parishioners here, likewise. They do their duty going to mass and then “split”. There isn’t very much in the way of fellowship in most churches here, at least most Catholic churches.
I think Protestant churches seem to place a higher emphasis on fellowship, even here in Mexico.
In the US, after much searching, I did find churches more like how you described, but almost never with the priest, but with other parishioners.
If you’re not happy, I’d encourage you to try other churches till you find one that is the best fit for you. That’s the beauty of the Catholic church. As long as you go to mass, it doesn’t matter where you go.
It’s all been totally worth it.