is this lustful problem a mortal sin

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spirocatania

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i may stuggle with this problem for the rest of my life here on earth but sometimes i really need help to determine when a sin has really become grave that i need to confess it.

today i stuggled with lust so much that everything i looked at and everythiong that i thought turned into impure disgusting dirty images. I could not even found out someone is pregnate because i start with all these kinds of images.

However there was one time where i walked past a women and had a impure image in my head right away. Due to this habbit of mine. if i am responisble in starting the image, creating the image in my mind for that brief second have i commit a mortal sin.

I really dont know what to do anymore. i know that i can not beat this on my own and that I need Gods help and the holy protecting me always but this is something i true want to defeat in this life once and for all. I want to be able to look at someone and think of someone without these annoying problems.
 
I know exactly what you’re going through and it is something I struggle with myself very often.

Temptations will come up and there is nothing you can do to stop them. The best thing is always to try and dismiss them right away everytime they come up.

Being tempted is not a sin. However, if you were to then purposefully entertain and welcoming lustful thoughts into your mind for a significant period of time after being tempted, then you are sinning and this should be confessed. But if they are fleeting and you combat them and push them away everytime they occur, as best you can, then you have not yet sinned.

Sometimes God gives us this thorn in our side. I recommend going to confession as often as you can and confessing that you had lustful thoughts even if you didn’t entertain them for long or pleasure yourself or masturbate.

It is a difficult thing to fight, but it does get better as I’ve found after suffering from this for years.

One helpful strategy is to try singing hymns in your head, perhaps there are some favourite ones you know from Church or from CDs. It doesn’t have to be Christian music, any music (without of course lyrics or anything that glorifies lust and immorality) that you like can help, though I find orchestral and classical music and gregorian chants, Ave Maria etc. to be excellent and beaufitul. You can either actually listen to a CD or MP3s or if you’re like me, play it loudly in your mind to drown out the thoughts. Any positive images you can think up will help combat lustful ones. For example I love movies and animation so I recall many great visuals that I’ve seen. Perhaps you have something else that really reaches out to you.

This is just one way that I try to combat it.

Another thing that may help though I advise it prudently is to fight one emotional state with another powerful emotional state. For example, think of things that make you angry. Thing in your life, things that may have been unjust either to you or in the news. If not anger, then perhaps something that makes you sad. Sometimes that bad things that happen in our lives can be gifts given by God to help us on such occasions. Another great idea is to try reading material that exposes the dangers of pornography and how women/men are ill treated and victimized. This helps give you that sense of fury and you can even turn that against your habit. See it for what it really is and could turn you into. That fear, anger and sadness that you experience can be good emotional states to combat a more lustful emotional state. Then once that state passes, your anger and other emotions too will subside. It is not sinful to experience anger so long as it is righteous.

I hope this helps you. I know that it has helped me often. Sometimes you will reach a state where you are consciously crying out and lamenting what you do even while you are sinning and doing what is wrong. You feel like a man posessed by something other than yourself. This is a good thing. It shows that you are progressing. That now your conscience has awakened and your soul fights against the body’s inclinations. Keep up. Don’t lose hope even when you fail. “Get Up!” is Christ’s command, “pick up the cross you dropped as you fell and immediately follow after Me.”

You may start to feel that it is impossible. But I can testify to you from my own experiences that it is possible and you get stronger, and Christ empowers you more and more each time you return to Him. It may be a cross you might have to carry for teh rest of your life, it may be a thorn that Christ leaves in you so as to keep you humble and coming back to Him for more graces so that He can fill you more and more. You become stronger each time, and one day you will look back and see how far you’ve come from where you were before.

Let us pray for each other. Consecrate yourself to the Virgin Mary, she is a great help to those who wish to follow her example of chastity. Also, offer rosaries and pray for the souls in purgatory, particularily those who suffer there for sins of lust and the flesh. Pray that God eases their sufferings and takes them to Heaven. They will always return the favor for their benefactors who helped them and they are holy souls who will pray for you so that God eases your burden and remembers your mercy towards them when the day comes for you to stand before Him.
 
The sin of lust is an act whereby the human person interiorly consents to the disordered desire for a sexual act that he knows to be gravely immoral, such as adultery. In this sin, the person is truly willing to commit the exterior act, if there were an opportunity. But this interior act is substantially different from merely fantasizing about a sexual act. Lust is essentially consent to the sinful sexual act itself (though in desire), not merely consent to thoughts about the act.

[Matthew]
{5:27} You have heard that it was said to the ancients: ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
{5:28} But I say to you, that anyone who will have looked at a woman, so as to lust after her, has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
{5:29} And if your right eye causes you to sin, root it out and cast it away from you. For it is better for you that one of your members perish, than that your whole body be cast into Hell.

Jesus condemns both the exterior act of adultery, and the interior act of lust. The exterior act of merely looking at a woman is not a sin. Admiring beauty in a woman is not adultery of the heart. Only if the man consents to lust with the will and intellect does he commit adultery of the heart. Jesus describes lust as adultery of the heart because any act of lust is a willingness to commit an illicit sexual act, including any gravely immoral sexual act, the primary example of which is adultery. If the person is not willing to commit the immoral sexual act, then even if there is some degree or type of sin, the sin is not lust.

Saint Thomas Aquinas: "Accordingly a man who is thinking of fornication, may delight in either of two things: first, in the thought itself, secondly, in the fornication thought of.

“Now the delectation [enjoyment] in the thought itself results from the inclination of the appetite to the thought; and the thought itself is not in itself a mortal sin; sometimes indeed it is only a venial sin…” Summa Theologica, I-II, Q. 74, n. 8.

Consent to thoughts about sexual acts is not necessarily a mortal sin. And passing thoughts to which one does not consent would not be sins at all.
 
I know how you feel. It is very easy to see the corrupt nature of sins which effect other people directly. The solitary sin is easily hidden by a corrupted conscious. We know that God’s will is much more than just not hurting others. It involves our thoughts, our words, what we do and what we fail to do.

The corruption of our conscious is an effect of the sin itself. The corruption takes place on an individual as well as a collective basis. Repeated individual sin, and the more that society sins, the more disorder occurs in our lower faculties.

The sin leaves a residual habit upon our spirit. It becomes a vice. We can confess the sin and the sin is forgiven, but the effect of the sin remains. A way to overcome vice is through virtue. Mortification is also helpful. Lust and Gluttony are related to the same lower faculties. Fasting can help to overcome lust. Grace is designed to help us overcome sin. Sacramental grace is one of our best tools. Through the sacrament of confession, actual grace is given to overcome the particular sins that are confessed.

Overcoming lust is a real battle. The stakes are high.
 
i may stuggle with this problem for the rest of my life here on earth but sometimes i really need help to determine when a sin has really become grave that i need to confess it.

today i stuggled with lust so much that everything i looked at and everythiong that i thought turned into impure disgusting dirty images. I could not even found out someone is pregnate because i start with all these kinds of images.

However there was one time where i walked past a women and had a impure image in my head right away. Due to this habbit of mine. if i am responisble in starting the image, creating the image in my mind for that brief second have i commit a mortal sin.

I really dont know what to do anymore. i know that i can not beat this on my own and that I need Gods help and the holy protecting me always but this is something i true want to defeat in this life once and for all. I want to be able to look at someone and think of someone without these annoying problems.
So long as you are “struggling with them” they are not “mortal”. They certainly show weakness, and area of sprituality that needs srong attention, perhaps even an attack by the evil one, but they are not mortal so long as you do not give in to them.

That being said, Confess Them. As often as they occur and as often as you can. Let your confessor know that you are struggling mightily with them and some days feel dowright attacked by these things. Perhaps your confessor can recommend readings, devotionals, maybe even spiritual councilling.

Also, in addition to confession, I highly recommend taking communion as often as you can. Also spend time alone with the Blessed Sacrament. Talk to Jesus. He won’t let you down.

Good Luck in your Struggles.

Peace
James
 
I can’t speak to “mortal” or not because that’s way above my pay grade…

But, as a fellow sinner struggling with this problem for nearly 4 decades, I’d like to share a resource I found… Dr. Tom Curran has an audio series for men (you don’t say you’re male, but I’m assuming… Hope I don’t offend) that are dealing with this…

His website is mycatholicfaith.org/ and the audio download (it costs $5) is at shop.mycatholicfaith.org/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=69 … There are several free resources on the website as well, so if $5 is a hardship, please still check it out.

I’m not trying to sell you anything here, I can just tell you that Doctor Curran’s lectures helped me immeasurably.

One of the most memorable things I recall from the lecture went something like, “It’s not a huge sin to HAVE the thought… It’s when you ENTERTAIN the thought that you get in big trouble.”

I hope I’m not breaking any forum rule linking to a for sale item, but Dr. Curran’s radio program on Sacred Heart Radio in Seattle has helped me immeasurably with this and many other struggles.

May God bless and guide you in your struggle.

Mike
 
The sin of lust is an act whereby the human person interiorly consents to the disordered desire for a sexual act that he knows to be gravely immoral, such as adultery. In this sin, the person is truly willing to commit the exterior act, if there were an opportunity. But this interior act is substantially different from merely fantasizing about a sexual act. Lust is essentially consent to the sinful sexual act itself (though in desire), not merely consent to thoughts about the act.

[Matthew]
{5:27} You have heard that it was said to the ancients: ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
{5:28} But I say to you, that anyone who will have looked at a woman, so as to lust after her, has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
{5:29} And if your right eye causes you to sin, root it out and cast it away from you. For it is better for you that one of your members perish, than that your whole body be cast into Hell.

Jesus condemns both the exterior act of adultery, and the interior act of lust. The exterior act of merely looking at a woman is not a sin. Admiring beauty in a woman is not adultery of the heart. Only if the man consents to lust with the will and intellect does he commit adultery of the heart. Jesus describes lust as adultery of the heart because any act of lust is a willingness to commit an illicit sexual act, including any gravely immoral sexual act, the primary example of which is adultery. If the person is not willing to commit the immoral sexual act, then even if there is some degree or type of sin, the sin is not lust.

Saint Thomas Aquinas: "Accordingly a man who is thinking of fornication, may delight in either of two things: first, in the thought itself, secondly, in the fornication thought of.

“Now the delectation [enjoyment] in the thought itself results from the inclination of the appetite to the thought; and the thought itself is not in itself a mortal sin; sometimes indeed it is only a venial sin…” Summa Theologica, I-II, Q. 74, n. 8.

Consent to thoughts about sexual acts is not necessarily a mortal sin. And passing thoughts to which one does not consent would not be sins at all.
Spiro…

(I can not recommend the above post or the links provided for somethings there are incorrect…)

From the Catechism:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.



A person can lust even in his own thoughts…even without intending to do any exterior act…even if he is unwilling to commit an actual exterior act.

and of course a person can lust while doing exterior acts …

of course remember …often times it can happen that some thought or sexual pleasure comes…and is not consented to…or wanted…

It can be that does not consent to any sin but actually preforming an act of the virtue of chastity…and growing perhaps in this virtue…

it is one thing for an unintended and not consented to sexual feeling to happen to one…outside of marriage…

it is another to seek or consent to such (thus being lust).

of course too…it can happen that even in grave matters…where sexual pleasure involved…but which do not have full knowledge at the time…or where there is only partial consent…such would by definition be a venial sin.

Compendium of the Catechism:
  1. When does one commit a mortal sin?
1855-1861
1874

One commits a mortal sin when there are simultaneously present: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. This sin destroys charity in us, deprives us of sanctifying grace, and, if unrepented, leads us to the eternal death of hell. It can be forgiven in the ordinary way by means of the sacraments of Baptism and of Penance or Reconciliation.
  1. When does one commit a venial sin?
1862-1864
1875

One commits a venial sin, which is essentially different from a mortal sin, when the matter involved is less serious or, even if it is grave, when full knowledge or complete consent are absent. Venial sin does not break the covenant with God but it weakens charity and manifests a disordered affection for created goods. It impedes the progress of a soul in the exercise of the virtues and in the practice of moral good. It merits temporal punishment which purifies.
 
regarding thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some thought happens does not mean that one sinned…for thoughts happen…it is what we do with them…

What should we do with unwanted sexual thoughts?

Relax. Do not worry.

They can be internal but not willed. They can seem like ‘you are the one causing them’ --for it is the nature of such thoughts.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

for a venial sin …one has to consent …and when thoughts happen and you do not want them or hate them…they displease you…it is a sign of NO CONSENT

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it —but rejected it and maybe even turned to God : again a sign not full consent.

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them. (but do not worry about this either!)

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of? Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on. and do not worry

another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …
 
Regarding when one is tempted and one wonders if one gave compete consent…various theological works give some helpful signs of not having complete consent…such as:

being half asleep…distracted by another matter and hardly noticing the thought…after the act or thought one scarcely remembers what happened…one hesitates but does not want to offend God and so after the moments of hesitation one rejects the temptation…one resists thoughts but in a half hearted way or in a weak manner putting up half resistance (hence partial consent so perhaps a venial sin)…
 
To quote Jimmy Akin of Catholic Answers…

"The thing to do when that happens is relax, ignore the temptation, and move on to something else.

The “relax” part is important, because if one allows oneself to become anxious about temptation then it only reinforces the temptation.

Temptation is deprived of its power if you refuse to get anxious about it and simply move on."
 
**Saint Thomas Aquinas: "Accordingly a man who is thinking of fornication, may delight in either of two things: first, in the thought itself, secondly, in the fornication thought of.

“Now the delectation [enjoyment] in the thought itself results from the inclination of the appetite to the thought; and the thought itself is not in itself a mortal sin; sometimes indeed it is only a venial sin…” Summa Theologica, I-II, Q. 74, n. 8.**
 
From the Catechism:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
 
i may stuggle with this problem for the rest of my life here on earth but sometimes i really need help to determine when a sin has really become grave that i need to confess it.

today i stuggled with lust so much that everything i looked at and everythiong that i thought turned into impure disgusting dirty images. I could not even found out someone is pregnate because i start with all these kinds of images.

However there was one time where i walked past a women and had a impure image in my head right away. Due to this habbit of mine. if i am responisble in starting the image, creating the image in my mind for that brief second have i commit a mortal sin.

I really dont know what to do anymore. i know that i can not beat this on my own and that I need Gods help and the holy protecting me always but this is something i true want to defeat in this life once and for all. I want to be able to look at someone and think of someone without these annoying problems.
go see a psychologist. Seriously, this isn’t normal. You need to seek professional help.
 
i may stuggle with this problem for the rest of my life here on earth but sometimes i really need help to determine when a sin has really become grave that i need to confess it.

today i stuggled with lust so much that everything i looked at and everythiong that i thought turned into impure disgusting dirty images. I could not even found out someone is pregnate because i start with all these kinds of images.

However there was one time where i walked past a women and had a impure image in my head right away. Due to this habbit of mine. if i am responisble in starting the image, creating the image in my mind for that brief second have i commit a mortal sin.

I really dont know what to do anymore. i know that i can not beat this on my own and that I need Gods help and the holy protecting me always but this is something i true want to defeat in this life once and for all. I want to be able to look at someone and think of someone without these annoying problems.
Pray without ceasing (esp: the Rosary, Our Blessed Mother will help you!)… I would start by giving God an hour a day if possible (you’ll be amazed at the results), recieve the sacraments as often as you can & read scripture as often as you can… This will help purify your mind… I will be praying for you!

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary
 
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