Is this normal?

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Eucharisted

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Whenever I think of the vocation to mariage - as I want to be married - I get hot and bothered. Not in the worried way but in the carnal way. Is this normal?
 
Hey Eucharisted,

What a great question! You know, I guess it really depends on what “normal” means. If you mean, “is it normal to get excited about enjoying sexual intimacy with the woman of your dreams whom you’ve married?” then I’d say, “Yep, that’s pretty normal!” Sex is not a bad thing, it’s a great thing that some people choose to do in the wrong context (outside of marriage) and then they end up messing up their lives.

What I hope is that your longing for marriage means that you are preparing yourself to be the man of your future wife’s dreams so that you two can live happily ever after and raise a wonderful family. What are you doing right now to become that man? …If you said, “nothing” well then get to work! What I’m trying to say is that the world needs a new army of saints, and God wants you to be a key player, a white knight. So get going… He’s already given you the motivation. Now he wants you to take action, that’s where the rubber really meets the road, that’s when you really enter into the mystery of God’s Plan of Salvation.

So as you finish reading this, make a decision. Decide right now. "If I really want to live out this fantastic life with a beautiful woman and a wonderful family, then starting today I must WHAT… Fill in the blank. Make it real. Make it good. Stick to it, and watch God work miracles in your life.

Have a great day and God bless,

Brother Scott
Seminarian
Apostles of the Interior Life, Rome
 
skallal said:
Hey Eucharisted,

What a great question! You know, I guess it really depends on what “normal” means. If you mean, “is it normal to get excited about enjoying sexual intimacy with the woman of your dreams whom you’ve married?” then I’d say, “Yep, that’s pretty normal!” Sex is not a bad thing, it’s a great thing that some people choose to do in the wrong context (outside of marriage) and then they end up messing up their lives.

What I hope is that your longing for marriage means that you are preparing yourself to be the man of your future wife’s dreams so that you two can live happily ever after and raise a wonderful family. What are you doing right now to become that man? …If you said, “nothing” well then get to work! What I’m trying to say is that the world needs a new army of saints, and God wants you to be a key player, a white knight. So get going… He’s already given you the motivation. Now he wants you to take action, that’s where the rubber really meets the road, that’s when you really enter into the mystery of God’s Plan of Salvation.

So as you finish reading this, make a decision. Decide right now. "If I really want to live out this fantastic life with a beautiful woman and a wonderful family, then starting today I must WHAT… Fill in the blank. Make it real. Make it good. Stick to it, and watch God work miracles in your life.

Have a great day and God bless,

Brother Scott
Seminarian
Apostles of the Interior Life, Rome
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Awesome advice! 👍 I’m praying for my girlfriend, so that helps with preparing for marriage. Gotta be more chaste, though. Thanks for being an instrument of God’s Wisdom!
 
I’d say that’s lust, and something to be overcome and squashed completely since you aren’t married. 🙂
 
Shin said:
I’d say that’s lust, and something to be overcome and squashed completely since you aren’t married. 🙂
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A healthy libido is different from lust. What Eucharisted seemed to be describing was the passions that are aroused when a person dreams about being with the one whom he/she loves. Those passions are a gift from God. They are a sign of the intensity of God’s love for his Church.

When those passions are misdirected to fulfill one’s desire for gratification, that is lust. That is an abuse of the sign that God instills in man to remind us of his passion for the Church. Lust is the abuse of the passion that is meant to be enjoyed and shared by spouses. Lust is the abuse of passion that is meant to procreate and participate in the Creative Power of God.

I’m not seeing where Eucharisted has said that he has these feelings and goes out to find gratuitous sex.

That being said, it is very difficult for one to want to be married if you do not have a libido. That’s not marriage. It’s a partnership. Marriage is love, passion is the expression of that love. The Church does not call us to suppress our sexuality. She wants us to direct it.

For those who are called to live the celibate life, our sexuality and the energy that comes with it is directed to service, prayer, manual labor, play, contemplation and on-going conversion. We experience the same passion as we enter into a deeper union between the soul and the Divine.

For those who are called to the married life, their sexuality and the energy that comes with it is directed toward each other and their family. It becomes a means that God uses to build the domestic church. It is the means for sanctification of the couple. It leads the couple to discover God through each other and together. As they progress in their intimacy with each other, they also progress on their mystical journey toward God.

No, sexual feelings are good and holy. Our choices are what we must beware of.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
Great post, brother JR! I’m with you. Sometimes I think Shin has a somewhat dim view of human sexuality. May your words help him to reflect on the incredible gift of human sexuality!

In Christ,

Brother Scott
Seminarian
Apostles of the Interior Life, Rome
 
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