Is this pride, immaturity, a personality disorder or is she possessed by demons?

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She is in her mid-twenties. I do not know what triggers it though. Could be having a great time, then all of sudden, she becomes angry. Pushing someone down the stairs is TOO MUCH FOR ME. She said she is tired of her father still telling her what to do. My friend said, it is good at least she is going to see a counselor. Her father is convinced there is nothing wrong with her. What is the difference between a normal spoiled brat versus a chemical imbalance? Should we just leave her alone? She complains that we are too there and in her space.
Obviously pushing someone down the stairs is unacceptable, as well as breaking dishes and some of her otber extreme behaviors. These types of behaviors definitely need professional intervention so its very good she’s seeking counseling whether its psychological or learning better self control. I would disengage from her as much as possible. Don’t offer opinions or advice, keep any conversations you must have with her bland and boring -and unless she endangering you or someone else leave her be for the professionals to deal with. You can not diagnose her.
 
Next time she hits someone, call the police and have her arrested for assault.
 
Obviously pushing someone down the stairs is unacceptable, as well as breaking dishes and some of her otber extreme behaviors. These types of behaviors definitely need professional intervention so its very good she’s seeking counseling whether its psychological or learning better self control. I would disengage from her as much as possible. Don’t offer opinions or advice, keep any conversations you must have with her bland and boring -and unless she endangering you or someone else leave her be for the professionals to deal with. You can not diagnose her.
Yes, this, especially since the girl has indicated she wants more space. If she wants space, give it to her. Since she has someone professional helping her, just move along and mind your own business as much as you can. When she won’t let you mind your own business because she’s violating your boundaries or someone else’s, try to get out of the situation with as little drama as possible. Call help when help is needed, but do not interfere when there are people with more authority than you already intervening. Just let them take care of it, and try not to dwell on it too much. You will have done what you can.
 
My cousin is one those people prone to extremes. She may be seriously religious - church, confession weekly, talking about God, watching EWTN. After a few weeks or months, something snaps. She becomes angry. Her bad attitude reemerges. She wants to be alone and gets annoyed by everyone. She has ripped her bible in anger. She ripped her rosary. She says she hates the burden of being Christian. We correct a lot on her foul language, often she apologizes and complies. Out of nowhere, one day, she cuss profanities, when we correct her, she says “f…off.” Her good girl act is short-lived. I think as her family it is our duty to correct her. Sometimes she stops talking to us because we tell her the truth or correct, and hangs out with boyfriend, who tells her it is okay to say “damn” once in a while and that we overreact. She says every time we talk to her, we correct her. She makes us feel like the bad guys when we are just trying to help in the long wrong. She said “f…your Jesus Christ.” She is a very nice person for two months or so, then something snaps her in and she becomes a brat again. She does not seem to care how she hurts our feelings. She does things to purposefully start arguments and destroy the peace in our family. She takes slights so personally, when she says something back, she will say something EXCEPTIONALLY CRUEL. I gave her blunt advice on her boyfriend, she tried to fight me, then she went on to say, never wants to see me again, how she hates me, or will never talk to me anymore. A few minutes later, she apologized for being cruel. WHY DID SHE EVEN ASK? She has walked out in the middle of mass, throwing the Missal and using profanity. Our family was so embarrassed. She always has to be the center of attention. When she is angry, she broke our plates, cups, and tried to push people down the stairs. Because she was angry with me, over something petty, she did not feed my dog for hours. She quickly apologizes with the assumption we will forgive her. She comes back to her senses and acts like we will be close friends again like I must forgive & forget and move on, now that she has. She tries to see psychologist & counsellors to talk about stuff. I think she is convinced something is wrong with her. All she ever talks about is herself, her flaws. She does not listen to what others have to say. She whines about everything. She acts very defensive and aggressive when people try to help her. It is A SLAP IN THE FACE TO HELP HER. She will yell at you, cause a scene, cuss you out for trying to help her. She is always asking for advice or to hear the truth or complaining about her problems, the minute someone tells her the STRAIGHT UP TRUTH she gets angry, sometimes even violent. She is determined to do everything on her own, which she cannot do. She does not want to accept herself for who she is. She has hit almost everyone in our household. While I just think it is pride. She wants a psychological excuse or mental illness to excuse her culpability of sin. I think she just has trouble assuming responsibility or growing up
I’m sorry to hear about that.Reading that I could recognise myself in some of that.It sounds as if maybe she does have a personality disorder.
 
I’m sorry to hear about that. Reading that I could recognise myself in some of that. It sounds as if maybe she does have a personality disorder.
In that case, what do you find helpful when you are sort of “losing” it and violating the boundaries of other people? What is a constructive way for other people to handle you when you are like that? What helps you to feel valued and yet held to the work of being the best version of yourself that you can be? What about when you are depressed and pessimistic about your capacity to be that best version of yourself?

In short, I mean to ask this: What are the things you would have wanted to tell your friends and relatives, not so much at the time but if you had “known then what you know now”?
 
I don’t know if this will be any comfort, but it isn’t your worry whether the way she behaves is her fault or not. I don’t know what her problem is, but she does have a problem. It is not for you to judge her or diagnose her. It is totally OK for you to draw your own boundaries concerning how you will let others treat* you* and anyone in your protection. If she abuses someone else and no one else will intervene, then of course you can step in and defend the person. You don’t have to stand by and watch as if she’s doing nothing wrong to anyone. You can treat the victim of her abuse as you would want to be treated under the same circumstances.

There is no excuse for anyone pushing anyone else down stairs nor verbally abusing anyone else nor anyone acting as if they are entitled to disrupt the social occasions of others nor to constantly put themselves at the center of attention. Either she is unable to control herself, in which case she needs to be confined by others in accordance with her lack of self-control, or else she can control herself, in which case she needs to do that.

If one of my relatives felt it was her right to abuse me or put me in danger and said I was “too there and in her space,” then I’d take that as my opportunity to give her all the space I felt inclined to give her, which would be an awful lot. I’d hope whatever was wrong with her could be cleared up, but sometimes you have to just let go and let the person make an overture when they feel they’ve driven you too far away.
She always talks about needing her space. She hates how everyone is parenting her, from my father, to me, my younger sister, to her mother. She has insisted that she pay for her own driving school, while my father wants to help her save money by teaching her how to drive. She would say a good three-hundred. She wants to learn to drive and test drive with an instructor. Apparently during one of her driving lessons with my father, she became so annoyed with him correcting her that she threatened to crash the car while they were driving on the freeway. She ended with how she does not give a f**k. We are always hear to help her. Is it her pride that she rejects help from others? Or does she simply want to grow up? We can not trust her because of emotional outbursts.
 
She always talks about needing her space. She hates how everyone is parenting her, from my father, to me, my younger sister, to her mother. She has insisted that she pay for her own driving school, while my father wants to help her save money by teaching her how to drive. She would say a good three-hundred. She wants to learn to drive and test drive with an instructor. Apparently during one of her driving lessons with my father, she became so annoyed with him correcting her that she threatened to crash the car while they were driving on the freeway. She ended with how she does not give a f**k. We are always hear to help her. Is it her pride that she rejects help from others? Or does she simply want to grow up? We can not trust her because of emotional outbursts.
She has an independent streak. She wants her space. She’s willing to pay extra to do things her own way. Let her have it. See how it goes. It may work out fine. I’d expect if you give her lots of space, she’ll need a bit less, actually. Some of us are funny that way. Socially claustrophobic, if you will. Go figure! 🤷
 
She has an independent streak. She wants her space. She’s willing to pay extra to do things her own way. Let her have it. See how it goes. It may work out fine. I’d expect if you give her lots of space, she’ll need a bit less, actually. Some of us are funny that way. Socially claustrophobic, if you will. Go figure! 🤷
What do you mean exactly? Maybe the reason she breaks things or goes all out crazy is because she wants control. I have read many different replies. I have talked to different people about her, a friend. My friend mentioned it is a step in the right direction for her to try counseling, whether or not, I agree she needs it. My friend also mentioned, it must feel annoying having a lot of people always telling you what to do all the time, especially people younger than you. It is one thing to be lectured to by an older relative or parent, it is another thing to be lectured to by someone your own age or younger. She may be not competent in a lot of the areas. Which is worse that she actually one day goes through with her suicide attempts because she wants control or that she does things her own way and fails? Is the worse thing in life that she throws away 300 dollars to learn to drive her own way or that she intentionally crashes on the free-way and kills herself and my father? Perhaps some people just want space to grow. Believe me, she will do it. She has broken dishware, pushed people down the stairs, beat animals out of revenge. She has been hospitalized many times for overdosing on OTC meds.
 
Sounds like bipolar disorder. How old is she?
She becomes angry with us. We care for her. She does not have the guts to stand up to people who treat her badly at school or at work. She hates our household because I guess we are too goody-good. We do not allow cussing. She thinks we are too controlling of her. Why she is so mean to people who love her the most? She acts like she wants to escape. We are not doing anything wrong. She has tried picking fights with my younger sister because she thinks she is goody-two shoes. She is very obedient child. She gets good grades. She is very mature for her age, more mature than her. Apparently, my young-sister is a kiss-butt, pushover and our household is boring. She tries to test her limits with my younger sister because my younger sister is an absolute pacificist. She is most annoying family member, yet she accuses us for being annoying because we are quiet and do not get all riled up or emotional like she does. Most people outside our household would not deal with her ****.
 
She becomes angry with us. We care for her. She does not have the guts to stand up to people who treat her badly at school or at work. She hates our household because I guess we are too goody-good. We do not allow cussing. She thinks we are too controlling of her. Why she is so mean to people who love her the most? She acts like she wants to escape. We are not doing anything wrong. She has tried picking fights with my younger sister because she thinks she is goody-two shoes. She is very obedient child. She gets good grades. She is very mature for her age, more mature than her. Apparently, my young-sister is a kiss-butt, pushover and our household is boring. She tries to test her limits with my younger sister because my younger sister is an absolute pacificist. She is most annoying family member, yet she accuses us for being annoying because we are quiet and do not get all riled up or emotional like she does. Most people outside our household would not deal with her ****.
She had better be careful, or she will learn the truth in a saying I am fond of:

If you put it in a cage and poke with a stick for long enough, even the Easter Bunny will eventually bite you.

When that finally happens, it isn’t the fault of the Easter Bunny, BTW.
 
Usually, when someone comes to the Church for possible exorcism, it turns out that the person has a psychological disorder. So I wouldn’t be quick to presume she is possessed by a demon.
I don’t know which of the choices you give in the title of your opening post is the true one.
One thing you should do is pray for her.
 
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