is this pride?

[someperson555]

hi, i need some advice. i need to know if my personality is prideful. okay so basically all my life ive had a strong urge to always be the best at everything. i always had to be the most intelligent, the most athletic, the most beautiful, the most clean, etc. and i like showing off my looks and intelligence, but NOT to make others jealous, just to make myself feel good. i always needed to be admired, if i wasnt i would feel worthless.
i dont think im prideful because im very kind towards other people, even when they are hostile towards me, and i dont shun uglier or dumber people in public (or private). what im trying to say is that i dont think im more important than other people, (but i do think im better than some people). and thats my other question, is it prideful to think you are better than someone if you actually are?
so anyway, is my personality prideful from what i described?

 

[Cristiano]

I do not know if I would call that prideful but it is probably a symptom of deeper seated issues. I do not think that it is really healthy and maybe you should talk to someone and elaborate on why you feel that you need to behave in such a manner.

 

[in_servitude]

is it prideful to think you are better than someone if you actually are?
so anyway, is my personality prideful from what i described?

I could sit here and look for ways to judge myself to be better than you (capitalization of letters, for example). But, perhaps you just have a busted up keyboard - in which case I would then have judged myself superior falsely.

Imagine yourself in a deep inside a lengthy cave - the only light comes from the Sun shining on the entrance. As you look in a mirror, you can barely see your silhouette - and no blemishes on your body are visible. However, you notice that there are people closer to the bright cave entrance and decide to join them. As you walk toward the entrance, you see yourself in the mirror again, but now you notice smudge marks on your face. You clean that off, and then continue working your way toward the cave entrance. Once again, a mirror shows marks - smaller, but on your arm. You clean those off, and continue to work your way to the entrance.

In my own case, as I move closer to God, I become more aware of my own failings and less aware of the faults of others. I do suggest that instead of spending time determining if you’re the best at something - perhaps you spend that same time asking God to help you get closer to Him.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

hi, i need some advice. i need to know if my personality is prideful. okay so basically all my life ive had a strong urge to always be the best at everything. i always had to be the most intelligent, the most athletic, the most beautiful, the most clean, etc. and i like showing off my looks and intelligence, but NOT to make others jealous, just to make myself feel good. i always needed to be admired, if i wasnt i would feel worthless.
i dont think im prideful because im very kind towards other people, even when they are hostile towards me, and i dont shun uglier or dumber people in public (or private). what im trying to say is that i dont think im more important than other people, (but i do think im better than some people). and thats my other question, is it prideful to think you are better than someone if you actually are?
so anyway, is my personality prideful from what i described?

You are OK, no problem.
The problem may arise when you live in function of others. If the others are very bad, you want to be the best of the very bad, just to be the best, though it means nothing to be the best of the very bad.
When you think that I want to be the best of … you are comparing yourself with others not with yourself.
So, when you are not the best, you feel worthless, though you may be very, very good. Now, suppose that you are the worst of the very, very best. You feel unhappy though, being the worst of the best, you are better than being the best of the worst.

It would be best to compare with yourself, to compete with yourself and try to be the best you can.

But you are you and I think you should be what you like to be…

 

[rtodaro]

There’s a great book titled “The Imitation of Christ.” This book has always been a great help to me. I’d like to quote the last paragraph of Chapter 7.

“If you see anything good in yourself, believe still better things of others and you will, then, preserve humility. It will do you no harm if you account yourself as worst of all; but it will very much harm you to think that you are better than everyone else. Peace dwells in a humble heart, while in the heart of the proud man there is envy and resentment.”

It’s truly a wonderful book.

 

[Jimdandy]

Yes, it is.

Pray for the gift of humility.

 

[someperson555]

I could sit here and look for ways to judge myself to be better than you (capitalization of letters, for example). But, perhaps you just have a busted up keyboard - in which case I would then have judged myself superior falsely.

Imagine yourself in a deep inside a lengthy cave - the only light comes from the Sun shining on the entrance. As you look in a mirror, you can barely see your silhouette - and no blemishes on your body are visible. However, you notice that there are people closer to the bright cave entrance and decide to join them. As you walk toward the entrance, you see yourself in the mirror again, but now you notice smudge marks on your face. You clean that off, and then continue working your way toward the cave entrance. Once again, a mirror shows marks - smaller, but on your arm. You clean those off, and continue to work your way to the entrance.

In my own case, as I move closer to God, I become more aware of my own failings and less aware of the faults of others. I do suggest that instead of spending time determining if you’re the best at something - perhaps you spend that same time asking God to help you get closer to Him.

lol, i know i dont bother with capitalization, im not THAT meticulous
thats a good allegory. I want very much to get closer to God, but i dont want to give up even the things i have worked hard for. because i know that we must all pray for humility, but then i thought “just how humble does God want us to be?” i thought “cant we take any joy in being better at something than someone else?” i read this article which scared me, it was about pride, it said that having an urge to be the best at you workplace, community, etc is a sin and that we must pray for disease and humiliation. that really frightened me, because im not sure i could ever be that humble. nor do i want to even try to be.

 

[someperson555]

You are OK, no problem.
The problem may arise when you live in function of others. If the others are very bad, you want to be the best of the very bad, just to be the best, though it means nothing to be the best of the very bad.
When you think that I want to be the best of … you are comparing yourself with others not with yourself.
So, when you are not the best, you feel worthless, though you may be very, very good. Now, suppose that you are the worst of the very, very best. You feel unhappy though, being the worst of the best, you are better than being the best of the worst.

It would be best to compare with yourself, to compete with yourself and try to be the best you can.

But you are you and I think you should be what you like to be…

thank you.
yes im well aware of that. i always strive to be the best of the best. i think it was Napolean who said we shouldnt surround ourselves with people who are lower than us, instead we should surround ourselves with people who are better than us so that we may become like them. thats basically my life’s philosophy.

 

[in_servitude]

i know that we must all pray for humility, but then i thought “just how humble does God want us to be?”

It is my assumption that if you pray for humility, then God will give you what you need. He wouldn’t just blast you to bits without purpose. So, I do say that if you want to ask for humility, then go ahead and do that. In any event, it is likely to cement your knowledge that God is with you - because I have yet to see Him turn down a request like this.

 

[asia53]

i think it was Napolean who said we shouldnt surround ourselves with people who are lower than us, instead we should surround ourselves with people who are better than us so that we may become like them. thats basically my life’s philosophy.

Wow! Imagine, our Lord did the exact opposite. A little food for thought for you.

 

[NYCATHOLICGIRL]

Yes, it is.

Pray for the gift of humility.

AMEN!!!

This is from St. Bernard on pride ; curosity about what is not ones proper concern,thinking oneself holier than others,defending ones sinful actions,trying to be different; claiming special rights…
Now, after reading the above examples do any of those apply? Would thinking yourself smarter than, prettier than, better than about the same as thinking one is holier than another? Are special rights being claimed because people are uglier or dumber than you?
I agree with the above quoted poster humility will overcome pride.
Another thought, Mother Theresa wasn’t a drop dead gorgeous woman, but my God she is a very beautiful women in my opinion because she radiated God’s love.:bowdown2:

 

[Mystrx]

Yes the way you describe it it seems like pride.

 

[someperson555]

AMEN!!!

This is from St. Bernard on pride ; curosity about what is not ones proper concern,thinking oneself holier than others,defending ones sinful actions,trying to be different; claiming special rights…
Now, after reading the above examples do any of those apply? Would thinking yourself smarter than, prettier than, better than about the same as thinking one is holier than another? Are special rights being claimed because people are uglier or dumber than you?
I agree with the above quoted poster humility will overcome pride.
Another thought, Mother Theresa wasn’t a drop dead gorgeous woman, but my God she is a very beautiful women in my opinion because she radiated God’s love.:bowdown2:

… what? why is “trying to be different” a sin? the masses are mostly cattle who are uneducated and uncivilized, tell me how is it a sin if i try to be different by NOT liking katy perry, or by NOT wacthing american idol. how is it a sin if i try to be different by having good taste in art, educating myself, and exercising? yes i DO look down on those people who think that the best singer ever is lady gaga, or the best movie ever is “the hangover”. see this is what i CANNOT accept. what is wrong with wanting to cultivate yourself mentally and physically? as far as being more handsome and more intelligent than some people, what if i EARNED it by working for it? if i take the time to exercise and study every day, then I am indeed better than the guy who sits on his couch all day eating cheetos. but again, how is that prideful? im just enjoying the fruits of my labour.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

thank you.
yes im well aware of that. i always strive to be the best of the best. i think it was Napolean who said we shouldnt surround ourselves with people who are lower than us, instead we should surround ourselves with people who are better than us so that we may become like them. thats basically my life’s philosophy.

But your philosophy is not the “me” thing?
The Lord Jesus said that to be the best is to be the servant of all, to visit the poor, to care for the afflicted one, to heal the wounds of the mind.
It is not only to be surrounded by the best to learnt from them but also to be surrounded but the misery of the Earth to help, to give a hand where is needed, to do whatever we can to make this world better.

 

[eddadonkey]

+JMJ+

I would like to give a different view from what you have received.

There is a saint, St. John Berchmans, who died at the early age of twenty-two. Do you know how he became a saint?

By being a perfectionist, like you

His motto was “Maximus in minimis”: “I shall be outstanding in the smallest things.” But his motive for such things was not, like you, selfish, but actually selfless. Remember the punishment to Adam by God upon being expelled from Eden?

[BIBLEDRB]Genesis 3:17-19[/BIBLEDRB]

Work is penance for our sins, and that is St. John Berchmans’ motive for being a perfectionist: “My penance”, he would say, “is to live the common life… I will pay the greatest attention to the least inspiration of God.”

And yes, St. John Berchmans was a “pretty boy”, but he used his influence on his friends to steer them away from trouble, and his natural sweetness gave comfort to his mother when she was ill. Indeed being attractive can be used for good. Did you know St. Joan of Arc’s battlecry to her soldiers was “If you love me, follow me!”?

You have a gift given by God, the gift of diligence and attractiveness. All gifts can be used for evil, for example your perfectionism and attractiveness as sources of conceit, or for good, for example St Berchmans and St. Joan of Arc. Only YOU can decide what to use them for.

God love you.

 

[someperson555]

+JMJ+

I would like to give a different view from what you have received.

There is a saint, St. John Berchmans, who died at the early age of twenty-two. Do you know how he became a saint?

By being a perfectionist, like you

His motto was “Maximus in minimis”: “I shall be outstanding in the smallest things.” But his motive for such things was not, like you, selfish, but actually selfless. Remember the punishment to Adam by God upon being expelled from Eden?

[BIBLEDRB]Genesis 3:17-19[/BIBLEDRB]

Work is penance for our sins, and that is St. John Berchmans’ motive for being a perfectionist: “My penance”, he would say, “is to live the common life… I will pay the greatest attention to the least inspiration of God.”

And yes, St. John Berchmans was a “pretty boy”, but he used his influence on his friends to steer them away from trouble, and his natural sweetness gave comfort to his mother when she was ill. Indeed being attractive can be used for good. Did you know St. Joan of Arc’s battlecry to her soldiers was “If you love me, follow me!”?

You have a gift given by God, the gift of diligence and attractiveness. All gifts can be used for evil, for example your perfectionism and attractiveness as sources of conceit, or for good, for example St Berchmans and St. Joan of Arc. Only YOU can decide what to use them for.

God love you.

thank you, this was exactly what i needed to hear. the thing is i am scrupulous, so sometimes i get religious obsessions like this. and yes, any intelligence i have i would ofcourse want to help others with it. thats not the issue for me. its just that, at the same time i also want to be looked up to and admired.
PS. i actually dont think of myself as “handsome”, i just try to look the best i can lol.

 

[NYCATHOLICGIRL]

… what? why is “trying to be different” a sin? the masses are mostly cattle who are uneducated and uncivilized, tell me how is it a sin if i try to be different by NOT liking katy perry, or by NOT wacthing american idol. how is it a sin if i try to be different by having good taste in art, educating myself, and exercising? yes i DO look down on those people who think that the best singer ever is lady gaga, or the best movie ever is “the hangover”. see this is what i CANNOT accept. what is wrong with wanting to cultivate yourself mentally and physically? as far as being more handsome and more intelligent than some people, what if i EARNED it by working for it? if i take the time to exercise and study every day, then I am indeed better than the guy who sits on his couch all day eating cheetos. but again, how is that prideful? im just enjoying the fruits of my labour.

Who said that trying to be different is a “sin”, the question was asked about PRIDE. Pride is a downfall. St. Bernard who is a Doctor of the Church said these things, not I because I am not graced with his insight.
It is not spiritually helpful to ones soul to look down on other people, love is wanting the best for others, even at a sacrifice to ourselves. These people that you find so distasteful need prayers and sacrifices.God loves them also,

 

[A_G]

There is nothing wrong with trying to be the best that you can be. We are supposed to take care of our bodies, they are temples of the Holy Spirit. Being healthy and fit is good. Also, there is nothing wrong with working hard and/or intelligently to provide for oneself and one’s family with, even with “nice” things. We are called to do our best in this category as well - the opposite of this is being lazy and “not caring” and that is a sin. The problem here is when people start to be greedy and worship money - that is sinful and bad.

It’s ok to say “I’m proud of my children,” “I’m proud of my country,” etc… But it’s never ok to be prideful as the evil one is. The key is we are NOT to be prideful to the extent that we put ourselves above God! We can and should “do our best” at everything as long as we love our neighbors, are humble, respectful, peaceful and charitable towards others - it is perfectly ok. As long as we put God first!

 

[NYCATHOLICGIRL]

The Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus. (repeat after each line)
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred to others,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being suspected,
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. (repeat after each line)
That others may be esteemed more than I ,
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease,
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should,

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

+JMJ+

I would like to give a different view from what you have received.

There is a saint, St. John Berchmans, who died at the early age of twenty-two. Do you know how he became a saint?

By being a perfectionist, like you

His motto was “Maximus in minimis”: “I shall be outstanding in the smallest things.” But his motive for such things was not, like you, selfish, but actually selfless. Remember the punishment to Adam by God upon being expelled from Eden?

[BIBLEDRB]Genesis 3:17-19[/BIBLEDRB]

Work is penance for our sins, and that is St. John Berchmans’ motive for being a perfectionist: “My penance”, he would say, “is to live the common life… I will pay the greatest attention to the least inspiration of God.”

And yes, St. John Berchmans was a “pretty boy”, but he used his influence on his friends to steer them away from trouble, and his natural sweetness gave comfort to his mother when she was ill. Indeed being attractive can be used for good. Did you know St. Joan of Arc’s battlecry to her soldiers was “If you love me, follow me!”?

You have a gift given by God, the gift of diligence and attractiveness. All gifts can be used for evil, for example your perfectionism and attractiveness as sources of conceit, or for good, for example St Berchmans and St. Joan of Arc. Only YOU can decide what to use them for.

God love you.

There are a few saint that were put in my face and I was taught to hate them: St. John Berchmans was one of them. The other was St. Aloisius Gonzague and other crowd who did nothing wrong. They were out of this world.
I belonged to the crowd that in my teens, was doing everything wrong, we did believe in such sanctity.
We preferred St. Francis Xavier and St Francis of Assisi or St. Augustin, who did also things which were wrong.