Is this pride?

[Elisabeth51]

If someone thinks they have to do everything (literally everything—they will refuse even a hand with carrying something) all alone, isn’t that pride? I’ve tried to point out that God did make other people and we’re supposed to care for one another and be a community, even as singles, not to just be alone in everything. He countered that if he doesn’t do it all he will fall into sloth. ??? So if you’re so swamped you’re falling behind in work, house work, and other things, and ask me to go to the store for you one time, or let me make copies for music at church or something mundane so you can get caught up, you’re a sloth? You’d rather try to do it all and let everyone think you’re chronically late and irritable? Am I wrong to see this person having a pride problem?

As a single woman with a touch of OCD, I can well understand the difficulty of letting go, but I know that if I don’t accept the help of family or friends from time to time, I’m not letting them give or care for me as God wants us to care for one another and I have not become a couch potatoe because I let my friend run an errand while she was out anyway—in fact, I got more work done!

 

[twoangels]

It may be motivated out of pride. It may also be motivated out of a false understanding of what your moral obligations are.

 

[Elisabeth51]

It may be motivated out of pride. It may also be motivated out of a false understanding of what your moral obligations are.

My moral obligations? To love all, to do good for others, to be there for others—not just the dirty homeless person on the street, but the people I go to church with and work with and live with…if someone needs something I’m there for them, I don’t just say “I’ll pray for you” and do nothing. And I don’t tell everyone about it whatever it is I did. My love and friendship are unconditional and more than just something I’m supposed to do, there are actions involved. I was just wondering about someone who refuses all offers of assistance—to the point of endangering your health and job – might be related to pride because it seems that way to me.

 

[twoangels]

My moral obligations? To love all, to do good for others, to be there for others—not just the dirty homeless person on the street, but the people I go to church with and work with and live with…if someone needs something I’m there for them, I don’t just say “I’ll pray for you” and do nothing. And I don’t tell everyone about it whatever it is I did. My love and friendship are unconditional and more than just something I’m supposed to do, there are actions involved. I was just wondering about someone who refuses all offers of assistance—to the point of endangering your health and job – might be related to pride because it seems that way to me.

I meant his sense of moral obligations may be off, not yours. If his parents’ accused him of being lazy whenver he asked for help or criticized him of taking advantage of people if he sought help, it may be that he truly believes accepting help is motivated out of sloth.

 

[Elisabeth51]

I meant his sense of moral obligations may be off, not yours. If his parents’ accused him of being lazy whenver he asked for help or criticized him of taking advantage of people if he sought help, it may be that he truly believes accepting help is motivated out of sloth.

The problem with writing instead of speaking—sorry I misunderstood! Yes, that makes sense, from what he’s told me of his childhood, perfect sense. I pray for him every day, it’s like his heart is in a jail, he’s surrounded by so many people that just feed his “I have to do it alone and no one is supposed to care about me” attitude, I’m apparently the only one that has challenged this idea he has…it makes me sad.