Is this really Adultery according to the Catholic religion

  • Thread starter Thread starter Pudgy4
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
The question is really whether or not you were sacramentally married according to Church law. If you have been married sacramentally then divorce makes no difference
Matthew 5:31-32
“It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, cuases her to become and adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”

A divorced Catholic is called to abstain in most circumstances and remain single unless her husband has died. Even though you are not a Catholic your boyfriend if he is practising would still have to live according to Catholic religion. If you have not received the marriage sacrament you may not be seen to be married in the sight of God so you are free to remarry in the Church. Not everybody knows that.
 
In the last few days, it seems like people on this site are rushing to judgment a little too quickly and making some, quite frankly, ridiculous comments. To paraphrase:
  • I caught my husband looking at porn
  • Divorce him and keep him away from the children!
  • Can I date non-Catholics
  • Quite frankly, I find non-Catholics think so differently that I don’t even want to talk to them. Why would I want to date one?
  • My boyfriend wants to have sex with me after I’m legally divorced.
  • He’s a lier. You should avoid this person and sic a priest on him!
I mean, come on. It’s this sort of attitude that pushes people away from the Church, and intimidates those within it. I’m not saying that anyone has to relax their beliefs or faith, but perhaps a little more constraint is in order considering that this is an anonymous forum where individuals get a very small portion of the facts at hand.
 
Pudgy-
this can all be quite confusing especially with everyone coming up with various answers. In short yes it is adultery to have sex before your divorce is final, and yes it is a sin to have sex after your divorce is final before you marry the new guy. Either way if your boyfriend has sex with you before marriage he’ll have to go to confession. You on the other hand, because you’re not Catholic, have to live by the laws of your own church. Either way you’ll still have to confess something to God if you have sex before marriage.
To address all of the issues with the divorce. Because you’re not Catholic I’m assuming your first marriage was not in a Catholic church, because of this the Catholic church does not recognize your marriage. Therefore if you get a civil divorce you won’t have to go through the process of annulment through the Catholic church because to them you’re not married. If you’re planning on getting remarried in the church I would just talk to a Priest beforehand. My uncle just went through this, and as long as you discuss it with your Parish Priest first it should be ok. However, if you’re planning on getting remarried outside of the Church then your boyfriend is still committing a sin every time you have sex (because the marriage is not recognized in the church).
 
marinaio said:
…Because you’re not Catholic I’m assuming your first marriage was not in a Catholic church, because of this the Catholic church does not recognize your marriage. Therefore if you get a civil divorce you won’t have to go through the process of annulment through the Catholic church because to them you’re not married. …
Click to expand...
This is not correct. This only applies to CATHOLICS. Catholics MUST marry in a Catholic Church to be in a valid marriage. However, Pudgy is a Baptist so the Catholic Church may, in fact, find her marriage in her church valid and binding, regardless of a civil divorce. If the marriage is valid and binding, then an annulment would not be granted because that would be saying a marriage never happened.

I know it is confusing and I know someone who knows more and is better at communicating than I am is out there and can help. Someone?
 
This really isn’t that confusing an issue in the slightest.

Sex outside of marriage is a SIN. PERIOD. Sex outside of marriage when one or both parties is still married, sin. There isn’t any major religion I can think of where adultery and fornication (both sex outside of marriage) are accepted as not sinful.

Don’t over complicate this in the name of compassion, causing confusion isn’t compassionate.

Sex with anyone other than your spouse is a sin.
 
So many confusing answers!! Like another poster said, YOUR marriage is still valid EVEN IF you get a civil divorce, so you would be committing a sin if you have sex with your boyfriend, divorce or no divorce. ALSO, even if you were free to marry again, which you are NOT (unless you get a decree of nullity) you would be committing a sin if you had sex with your boyfriend while not married to him.
 
reginacaeli said:
To further clarify, in order for sexual relations to occur between OP and boyfriend without adultery or fornication, the following needs to occur:
  1. OP’s civil divorce becomes final
  2. OP and the boyfriend determine that they want to marry pending the outcome of OP’s petition for nullity of her current presumed sacramental marriage. She would ask a parish Priest for counsel about how to approach this. She would need to do this regardless of whether she intends to remain in her current faith or convert to Catholicism.
  3. The diocesan tribunal would review the peitition and make a determination. If a declaration of nullity is granted, OP would no longer be considered sacramentally married.
If boyfriend is civilly divorced but has no annulment (declaration of nullity from the Church), he would need to follow step 2 and 3 as well. Before the end of step 3 for both of them, if they engaged in sexual relations, the Church would consider it adultery. If they were to engage in sexual relations after step 3 and before step 4, it would be considered fornication.
  1. After all of this, the OP and boyfriend would get married within the Catholic Church. At this point, and only after all of this, would they have conjugal relations without sinning either against adultery or fornication.
Click to expand...
Thank you for breaking it down quite nicely.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top