Is this really my life?

[Bikerider68]

Here is my own series of unfortunate events. My fathers health is slipping and he won’t be with us much longer. My mother is showing signs of dementia. My only sibling (sister) told me that when our father passes away, she and her family are moving to another city. And now my wife is thinking about leaving me because of our own issues. So basically everyone in my life is leaving me at the same time. How am I supposed to process that? I’m sick of crying and stressing over this. Any suggestions?

 

[Viki63]

I’m very sorry you are going through these things. I would suggest not thinking of it as “everyone leaving you,” but as the trials that many of us go through as our parents age. That is not a terrible list.
I would suggest you focus on your own marriage and your wife’s issues. Have you tried going to marriage counseling with her or to talk to your priest? Have you asked her to pray with you every evening? Have you prayed a rosary for her daily? Are you doing all you can to make her feel loved?-- helping with housework, considering her needs, asking what she would like?

God bless.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Stop. Take a break.

Remember that you cannot save a drowning man if you cannot swim, remember that on the airplane you need to secure your mask before you help others.

If you can do a weekend or a full week, great, but I know for most caregivers one day/night will have to suffice. Find a nearby Catholic retreat house (monastery, Diocesan house, convent, etc.) One day and night away from everything, spend time in silence, talking to the folks at the retreat house, recharge your spirit.

Meditate every day on Luke chapter 12, write these verses down and repeat them to yourself:

Luke, CHAPTER 12 | USCCB

Can any of you by worrying add a moment to your life-span?

If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest?

Find a way to heal your marriage. Maybe read some things at http://www.maritalhealing.com/ or http://www.foryourmarriage.org/

Does your parish offer Formed subscriptions? If not, you can buy it for the price of Netflix. They have a very good marriage “retreat” that you and your wife can watch on your phones.

 

[Bikerider68]

Thanks. I’m making an appt with my priest to see if he can direct me. Lots of battles in my head but the marriage problem is the one that’s really hurting me.

 

[Irishmom2]

That’s good. Fix your marriage if possible, that is the only one you can do anything to change. Sadly, parents get old, have health issues and eventually die. That is a fact of life. All of the worry and caring can’t change that, but you still have a chance to fix your marriage.

 

[Legend]

OP, I don’t envy you. Possibly having the world change, as you know it, can be extremely difficult.
I’m going to say just one thing
Take control of the thing you do have control over.
Your wife, no doubt, wouldn’t have told you she wanted to leave, if she didn’t have a plan. So, get some legal advice, yourself! I honestly hope that it won’t come down to separation, but, if it does, get a good lawyer. One who’s job it will be to look out for your interests! Your wife, no doubt, has discussed this with a lawyer. So should you!
And, don’t let her talk you into using the lawyer she has retained. You need someone looking out for your interests.
I’m saying this now, partly because you’re in danger of becoming depressed. You wouldn’t be normal if you weren’t depressed at all. Just don’t go along with her without question about community property, dividing the assets, etc. Or, about child custody and visitation. Take care of yourself!
Again, I’m sorry about what you’re going through. Just don’t let anyone make it worse!