Is this religious OCD?

[NewsTheMan]

Hi ladies and gents,

Well, I am taking the plunge, and praising the Lord for internet anonymity. I have never discussed this with anybody, but I am so tired of it and it bothers me to no end. Its embarrassing, shameful, depressing, etc.

Since I was about 7 years old, I’ve had, only what I can describe as intrusive thoughts. And words. And phrases. Sexual acts sometimes pop into my head when I am praying to mary or a saint or the Lord, sometimes in my head there is a part of me that says I want to worship satan, things like that. And the only way I found to combat it, and I literally say it over and over and over and over and over in my head, almost all day every day are the words “Hate Satan, Love God”. And I find if I don’t say this, to like, occupy my mind as such, then I start having these other thoughts.

It doesn’t happen all the time, I mean not 24/7. But I am doing it now. I find when I am just doing simple stuff it just occurs and I repeat that phrase over and over in my head. When I was 12/13 it got really bad and I was going insane!

Anybody? Advice? I am really embarrassed about it, so please, be nice. I don’t think I suffer from other forms of OCD - however people tell me I do. I shower 3 times a day, I am really really really clean and neat etc. But thats not OCD thats just discipline!

Any help, would be great. Thanks folks!

 

[piejesu]

Don’t be embarrassed, be angry, that is with a righteous kind of anger. Such mental loops that would disparage what is good and right and holy do not come from God, neither do they come from the New Creation you are in Christ. You do not have to accept them.

for God did not give us a spirit of timidity
but a spirit of power and love and self-control. 2 Tim. 1:7

For though we live in the world we are not carrying on a worldly war,
for the weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to
destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle
to the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete. 2 Cor 10:3-6

 

[JRKH]

There may be too much involved in this to try and anser it on a public forum.
I would strongly suggest taking this up with your confessor and possibly getting set up with a spiritual councilor to try and work through these issues.

To answer your title question, no I don’t think this is OCD at all. It is certainly troubling and needs to be addressed in a carefully structured way.

Peace
James

 

[beckycmarie]

NewsTheMan, I think you’ll find both of these links helpful:


Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous (Revised)
(Contains information about OCD)

Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous and More Information

 

[Just_Lurking]

You’ve given a textbook description of what is called “pure obsessional OCD”. You need to go see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and possibly a prescription for medicine.

From here:

Common intrusive thoughts/obsessions include themes of:

• Responsibility: with an excessive concern over someone’s well-being marked specifically by guilt over believing they have harmed or might harm (either on purpose or inadvertently) someone.[8]
• Sexuality: including recurrent doubt over one’s sexual orientation (also called HOCD or “homosexual OCD”). People with this theme display a very different set of symptoms than those actually experiencing an actual crisis in sexuality. The question “Am I Gay”" takes on a pathological form. Many people with this type of obsession are in healthy and fulfilling romantic relationships, either with members of the opposite sex, or the same sex.[5][9]
• Violence: which involves a constant fear of violently harming oneself or loved ones or persistent worry that one is a pedophile and might harm a child.[9][10]
• Religiosity: manifesting as intrusive thoughts or impulses revolving around blasphemous and sacrilegious themes.[10][11]
• Health: including consistent fears of having or contracting a disease (different from hypochondriasis) through seemingly impossible means (for example, touching an object that has just been touched by someone with a disease) or mistrust of a diagnostic test.[10][11]
• Relationship Substantiation: in which someone in a romantic relationship endlessly tried to ascertain the justification for being or remaining in that relationship. It includes obsessive thoughts to the tune of “How do I know this is real love?” “How do I know he/she is the one?” “Am I attracted enough to this person?” or “Am I in love with this person, or is it just love?” The agony of attempting to arrive at certainty leads to an intense and endless cycle of anxiety because it is impossible to arrive at a definite answer.

Another site (see here) lists: “intrusive thoughts or mental images that one considers to be sacrilegious or blasphemous, such as wanting to worship Satan or have sex with Christ.”

 

[teachccd]

Anybody? Advice? I am really embarrassed about it, so please, be nice. I don’t think I suffer from other forms of OCD - however people tell me I do. I shower 3 times a day, I am really really really clean and neat etc. But thats not OCD thats just discipline!

Any help, would be great. Thanks folks!

What were to happen if someone prevented you from showering three times a day and only allowed you to shower once a day for a week? What if someone went into your room and dropped a pile of stuff in the middle of your floor? Could you leave it there for a few hours before you attended to it? If the thought of those situations made you cringe then you probably have OCD which can permeate through your religious practices.

No one can diagnose you here and to do so is dangerous and speculative. I am 51 years old and suffer with an anxiety disorder. I did learn one thing throughout my life. There is almost nothing that I can be embarrassed about anymore. Why? Because every person has issues and things that they deal with and yours is no different. If you sat here in front of me and presented your thoughts I would not be shocked nor would I judge you.

I would highly recommend that you seek some form of counseling just to sort out these moments when you must repeat those words. God loves you and he knows you better than you know yourself. These random thoughts are not derived intentionally and God knows that. He also would not want to to continually suffer from the threat that you might be offending Him. Go to a priest (maybe one from another parish if that is more comfortable) or go to a counselor.

You will be fine with God but you just need some peace for yourself. You are in my prayers. God bless you… teachccd

 

[NewsTheMan]

Thank you for the links everyone

And for the helpful advice and consolation! It frightens me that I might have this, or that I do have this but at the same time from what you guys have said it has comforted me more than you’ll know.

I understand nobody here could diagnose me. Maybe I do need to go to a professional to diagnose what I have, although I would have to wait because in my current town we have no such professionals.

Pure obsessional OCD sounds bad, but hey, if I got it I got it right!

Sometimes I guess, its humourous. As I sit here and type the words are repeated in my head, over, and over, and over again Sometimes it makes you feel crazy, but, to use a very cliche term, you get used to the voice

 

[former_Catholic]

I don’t think I suffer from other forms of OCD

OCD is a serious problem that can leave people literally washing the skin off their bodies…
and is a very long way from showering night, morning, and after running around the track.

I would say that you are only just experiencing the effects of Newton’s 3rd law: *“for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” * In other words, if you observe yourself carefully, you will notice that your thoughts will tend to go *out-of-control * on you as an equal-and-opposite reaction whenever you have been much too tightly over-controlling your thoughts.

It is easy to observe this exact same phenomenon with kids and cookies. The mother pulls the freshly baked cookies out of the oven and announces to the 7 year old in passing: “Those cookies are for the Christmas party! Do not eat those cookies!” The seven year old passes by the kitchen and concentrates and controls his thoughts very tightly…
*must not eat cookies… must not eat cookies… must not eat cookies… *
the seven year old wants to be good… extra good… so he focuses even more intensely…
The seven year old concentrates and focuses and over-controls his thoughts just too tightly…
must not eat cookies… must not eat…cookies…must…not…eat…COOKIES!
COOKIES! COOKIES! COOKIES!
His very intensely focused and forced over-control of self suddenly rebounds back at him as a suddenly out-of-control of self.

By the time the mother returns to the kitchen, she finds half the cookies gone and a 7 year old with cookie crumbs all over his face and a stomach ache. She will ask him what happened to all the cookies and he won’t even hardly know what happened to the cookies at all…
he really hadn’t meant to eat the cookies… honest…

Does the mother haul the kid off to the psychiatrist and tell him he has got obsessive compulsive cookie disorder and medicate him? No. The mother puts the kid on her lap and gently explains how too much focused and forced “over-control” in life can lead directly to “out-of-control” in life, and that life, strength, and health are not a matter of force, but a matter of gentle and clear intention, focus, and balance.

Gently guiding, intending, focusing, and controlling one’s thoughts is a good thing! But the minute one goes beyond gently guiding, intending, focusing, and controlling one’s thoughts into truly forcing and *over-controlling *one’s thoughts, they will tend to rebound hard as out-of-control thoughts arising every time. It’s not something to fear nor be ashamed of any more than slamming a racquet ball into a wall and having it rebound back into your face to knock you flat would be something to fear or be ashamed of. It just means that you’ve been pushing things a little too hard to keep yourself in balance.
It’s only just Newton’s 3rd law.

 

[NewsTheMan]

former Catholic,

I would appreciate it if you didn’t post on my threads, the moderators have instructed me not to respond to you, and your constant provocation and hounding of my threads, but from now on, if I post, unless you really have something good to add, don’t post.

Your post wasn’t helpful though, at all. It is not Newtons third law. It is much more complicated than that, and yet much more simple at the same time.

 

[Deedledum]

Dear Newstheman,

I’m sorry you have such a plight to contend with everyday. I know that it can really disrupt your life, especially your prayer life. I have intrusive thoughts too, especially at night while trying to go to sleep. My mind is like a hummingbird, constantly going (nothing bad, just busy…lol). I pray the rosary A LOT to help combat it. Maybe that could work for you as well. I also went to therapy to learn how to manage this condition (I’m bipolar). Maybe a therapist could help you learn some “coping” skills too. I would say that leaning on Jesus was the BEST therapy though. Without him, I would have never gotten through this past year of learning about this disorder, accepting it, managing it, etc. HE has been my life source. So I suggest you give it to him, (your thoughts) everyday, all day, even every hour if need be. Once you lay it on the altar before him, it’s doesn’t seem so hard to deal with. I wish you well, and will say a prayer for you.

 

[Bookcat]

Jimmy Akin …Chief CA Apologist…

jimmyakin.org/2005/04/a_crown_of_thor.html

 

[prolifewife]

Hi ladies and gents,

Well, I am taking the plunge, and praising the Lord for internet anonymity. I have never discussed this with anybody, but I am so tired of it and it bothers me to no end. Its embarrassing, shameful, depressing, etc.

Since I was about 7 years old, I’ve had, only what I can describe as intrusive thoughts. And words. And phrases. Sexual acts sometimes pop into my head when I am praying to mary or a saint or the Lord, sometimes in my head there is a part of me that says I want to worship satan, things like that. And the only way I found to combat it, and I literally say it over and over and over and over and over in my head, almost all day every day are the words “Hate Satan, Love God”. And I find if I don’t say this, to like, occupy my mind as such, then I start having these other thoughts.

It doesn’t happen all the time, I mean not 24/7. But I am doing it now. I find when I am just doing simple stuff it just occurs and I repeat that phrase over and over in my head. When I was 12/13 it got really bad and I was going insane!

Anybody? Advice? I am really embarrassed about it, so please, be nice. I don’t think I suffer from other forms of OCD - however people tell me I do. I shower 3 times a day, I am really really really clean and neat etc. But thats not OCD thats just discipline!

Any help, would be great. Thanks folks!

Don’t be embarrassed. I have severe OCD, and I’m not ashamed.I am inclined to say that you may have some OCD traits, if nothing else you seemingly suffer from scrupulosity. I would talk to a doctor about the OCD and a priest about the scrupulosity!

 

[NewsTheMan]

Man, I feel a whole lot better thanks everyone, I will look into it

Hey, I’m not sure if this is part of/can be part of/a sign of OCD but I was trying to be aware today of ways in which my activities might disrupt my life.

I noticed one thing. I cannot move on to something else, until the current task is finished. For example, this is how I noticed it, I was boiling something, and folding clothes while it boiled. I could hear it over-boiling and it needed to be taken off stove, but I just couldn’t do it until I had finished folding the clothes. Weird

That Jimmy Akin link helped, especially in deciding how to confess it to a Priest!

 

[prolifewife]

Man, I feel a whole lot better thanks everyone, I will look into it

Hey, I’m not sure if this is part of/can be part of/a sign of OCD but I was trying to be aware today of ways in which my activities might disrupt my life.

I noticed one thing. I cannot move on to something else, until the current task is finished. For example, this is how I noticed it, I was boiling something, and folding clothes while it boiled. I could hear it over-boiling and it needed to be taken off stove, but I just couldn’t do it until I had finished folding the clothes. Weird

That Jimmy Akin link helped, especially in deciding how to confess it to a Priest!

Yes, that very much sounds like a symptom of OCD. My OCD is severe, so believe me, I know the symptoms. Hope you are able to get some help. I would be in a horrible, horrible place if it weren’t for my counselor and medications.

 

[Zatzat]

Talk to your family doctor about this. Be honest with your symptoms and let your doctor make his / her diagnoses.

I suffer from anxiety and lived a stress filled anxiety ridden life for years…until I talked to my doctor.

Now with medication and coping strategies my anxiety is well under control.

 

[coolcatholicguy]

If you don’t focus on them, I think the thoughts will gradually go away. Plus, it is only a sin if you MEAN what you are thinking. We really can’t help having impure thoughts, but we can help entertaining these thoughts. God loves you and knows you love Him.

Also, if I could comment on the showering 3 times a day, that may be OCD. Why do you do it? Just wondering.

 

[PJM]

=NewsTheMan;6695141]Hi ladies and gents,

Well, I am taking the plunge, and praising the Lord for internet anonymity. I have never discussed this with anybody, but I am so tired of it and it bothers me to no end. Its embarrassing, shameful, depressing, etc.

Since I was about 7 years old, I’ve had, only what I can describe as intrusive thoughts. And words. And phrases. Sexual acts sometimes pop into my head when I am praying to mary or a saint or the Lord, sometimes in my head there is a part of me that says I want to worship satan, things like that. And the only way I found to combat it, and I literally say it over and over and over and over and over in my head, almost all day every day are the words “Hate Satan, Love God”. And I find if I don’t say this, to like, occupy my mind as such, then I start having these other thoughts.

It doesn’t happen all the time, I mean not 24/7. But I am doing it now. I find when I am just doing simple stuff it just occurs and I repeat that phrase over and over in my head. When I was 12/13 it got really bad and I was going insane!

Anybody? Advice? I am really embarrassed about it, so please, be nice. I don’t think I suffer from other forms of OCD - however people tell me I do. I shower 3 times a day, I am really really really clean and neat etc. But thats not OCD thats just discipline!

Any help, would be great. Thanks folks!

I suggest three things:

Pray the Rosary daily, spend time each week in Eucharisitic Adoration. Try changing what your saying to:

“Be gone Stan; Lord Jesus save me!”

 

[Brywan]

I suggest three things:

Pray the Rosary daily, spend time each week in Eucharisitic Adoration. Try changing what your saying to:

“Be gone Stan; Lord Jesus save me!”

A word of caution: What you have recommended–while wonderful spiritual disciplines for most Catholics-- can themselves become obsessive/compulsive behaviors for the person who suffers from OCD/scrupulosity and can become the source of more anxiety and fear.

The OP needs to seek competent psychological counsel as well as place himself under the care of a confessor/spiritual director who is familiar with OCD and how it plays itself out in religous behavior.

And to the OP: take heart! This disorder is more common than you think and many, many people suffer from it and are finding freedom!! I encourage you to learn everything you can about the disorder–knowledge is power! I also recommend the following for your reading library (all available through Amazon):

A Thousand Frightening Fantasies

The Doubting Disease

Understanding Scrupulosity

Go online to “Scrupulous Anonymous”–they publish a newsletter which you need to subscribe to–it’s free!

May God bless you and grant you His peace…

 

[Brywan]

Hi ladies and gents,

Well, I am taking the plunge, and praising the Lord for internet anonymity. I have never discussed this with anybody, but I am so tired of it and it bothers me to no end. Its embarrassing, shameful, depressing,

Anybody? Advice? I am really embarrassed about it,

One more note to the OP–

No need to feel shame over this–when you start to research this and realize how common it is–how many people suffer from it-- you will realize you are not alone and there are lots of people out there who understand exactly what you are going through–in fact, there are many saints who have suffered from this–St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Alphonsus Liguori come immediately to mind–so you are in good company!!!

I think one of the favorite tactics of Satan and his demons is to make us feel like there is no one else on the face of the earth who has had the kind of demented, sick thoughts that we have. When in fact, scripture clearly teaches that NO temptation we face is unique to us–(I Corinthian 10:13)–others face the same thing…

 

[NewsTheMan]

YAY thanks guys, I feel good about it

Thanks for everybodies help, I’m gonna see what I can do with my confessor, get a book or two, and just keep doin what I’m doing. I already say a daily rosary - what a blessing! Unfortunately, there is no eucharistic adoration in my parish I’ve tried to get it sorted, but its hard to keep a church continually open, etc, when criminals in South Africa will steal anything and everything and from anyone anywhere.

PJM its a nice suggestion to change what I’m saying - I wish it were that easy It’s impossible to change what I say, it just says it by itself in my mind if you know what I mean?

catholiccoolguy - showering 3 times a day just makes sense to me. I think I could probably go for 2, but one just seems too little to be properly clean. I hate the feeling of being unclean I suppose