is this right?

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mariam1976

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i hang out with a group of friends and one of them just recently left her job and joined a charity organization which does not pay so good…
now, she did this as she feels that God has called her to do this but she is finding it hard to make ends meet…
some days ago, she started giving platelets to make more money… she gets around 60$$ everytime she does this and she does it every 2 weeks…
every time we get together she always makes a big deal of this… one day she started saying that even though she is in such hard times, nobody makes an effort to get her anything (like her food and drinks) except for this one guy who always offers… he is interested in pursuing a relationship with her btw…
i am very irritated by this as i feel that if you are doing something for God, you should not be expecting other christian friends to be carrying your burden… if you cant afford to do it, you shouldnt do it… whats the point of doing charity if you are then going to become a charity case in front of your friends? after all, Paul said very clearly in the Bible, how he never was a burden to anyone while he was preaching…

any thoughts on this??
 
if you are doing something because you feel it is the vocation God has called you to, you accept the charisms and demands of that vocation without grumbling. If you are doing an act of charity and feel the need to explain it to everyone around you and seek approval, there is indeed a problem of motivation.
 
Mariam,
I’d ask that you take a look at why this irritates you so much. There could be a problem with your friend’s motivation, but that is her issue to deal with. Look first at what you’re saying:

"if you are doing something for God, you should not be expecting other christian friends to be carrying your burden… if you cant afford to do it, you shouldnt do it… "

How many people “afford” on their own to do Christian service. There’s not a missionary or full-time minister on the planet that can “afford” to do that work; they are all supported by others. Indeed, the model is that all other Christians SHOULD and DO support those who are in full-time ministry of some kind. I think your friend has been resourceful to find additional income; it is only her lack of humility that is troubling.

If you support the type of work and organization that your friend does, then decide how much of a help you can be. If you can, then help her financially by occasionally buying lunch, sending her a food basket or gift certificate, etc. (Set a dollar amount in your mind per month so that you don’t have to stress over whether what you’re doing is enough or too much.) If you can’t - or don’t feel that it’s right - to help her in that way, then help her by being a patient friend. Listen sympathetically and pray that God will help her financially while teaching her something about faith during a time where she has to stretch to make ends meet. Pray that God would teach you something while watching this friend. (One simple observation is that for people on a tight budget, eating out is an extravagence. If you want to see your friend, offer to have her over to your house for lunch or meet for a brown bag lunch.)

Just my 2 cents, and probably not what you wanted to hear…
RubyWannabe
 
Supporting those in ministry/charities is something that my family does as often as we can.

If your giving does not include donating to your friend’s chairty, let her know that.
 
Wow… what an interesting situation. I know only one person in that situation and I always employ “sliding scale economics” with her, but only because I feel like it. I’ll pay more than she does for things. But if we go out and eat or whatever, we won’t go to expensive places, we will do things that don’t cost very much or make dinner at home.

Kind of a tricky situation you have.

I remember when I was a student and I made no $$… and some of my friends were Co-op students (since they were business students ) and made decent coin. I would get annoyed with them because they always wanted to go out and eat at expensive places. After awhile, I simply told them we needed to tone down where we went for dinner because I couldn’t afford it. They didn’t seem to have a problem with it so we just made dinners at home and it was just as fun.
 
Remember, Jesus told us that when we fast, we are to put oil on our faces and not let others know we are fasting. And when we pray, not to pray on the corner like hypocrites who only do it so people can see them.
 
She may just have bitten off more than she could chew and is a little scared now. Be kind to her. She’s trying. If she were in it for the free drinks there are much easier ways to get them than giving blood and taking a pay cut. Tell her you are willing to help all you can and that will make her efforts yours and hers together. Treat her as a partner in charity. Position yourself as her volunteer and donor coordinator, soliciting aid for her from other friends. If this upsets her, she will have reason to think she might be doing it for the wrong reasons. If she’s happy about sharing the spotlight, charity is getting done and she’s doing it for the right reasons. That’s the best answer I can think of right now.
 
mariam1976 said:
i am very irritated by this as i feel that if you are doing something for God, you should not be expecting other christian friends to be carrying your burden… if you cant afford to do it, you shouldnt do it… whats the point of doing charity if you are then going to become a charity case in front of your friends? after all, Paul said very clearly in the Bible, how he never was a burden to anyone while he was preaching…

any thoughts on this??
Click to expand...
Gal 6: 2

Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ
 
i would be willing to share the burden… and i am supporting people in the church…

my problem with this is that she is the oldest in our group and most of the people are themselves struggling to keep afloat… it is unfair on her part to do this to people to guilt them into carrying her burden…

we do carry each other’s burden in the church and the classic example is when a girl was not able to find a job, we all pitched in for her rent and food…

but she is talking about starbucks and lunches… which i do not think is right! also, i would much rather give that money to charity…
 
When she says, “I can’t afford to go to Starbucks”, say, “I know, who can? Maybe someday we’ll get raises and go on a special occasion.” Stand your ground on things like that. Drop your own hints. She says, “I wish there were more people in my life who were concerned about the needy (ahem…)” You say, “I know, isn’t it awful how many people go out to lunch every week when there are so many people working hard for charity and living on rice and stale bread? if only I knew how to help soemone like that with the necessities, someone who really doesn’t have enough to eat, you know?” A perspective adjustment might do some good here.😃
 
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