Is this the reason some don't like the Catholic religion?

[distracted]

I sometimes feel that people are anti-Catholic not so much because of the doctrines and practices of the Church but because… well, the Catholics themselves are kind of… (don’t know what word to use)… I guess i would have to say They are sometimes cold, un-caring (seemingly) and, well, not very “spiritual”…

I have been to AA meetings and people there seem (usually) pretty down-to-earth … They talk about the things they are dealing with in their lives… they admit mistakes… they empathize with one another and everyone can usually relate to one another…

It seems that in my Catholic experience, everyone just keeps to him or herself… I think that people think that if you have Jesus, you don’t need people… and Who knows - maybe you don’t (??)… I mean, if people are going to be like that, i guess i don’t…

 

[FatBoy]

I completely agree with you. I’m presently not a Catholic; however, I regularly attend mass and I’ve been interested in the Church for a few years now.

I grew up a Southern Baptist and a preachers kid. I’m use to a family atmosphere at church. If you walk into most evangelical protestant churches you will see happy people. You will see people who welcome, enjoy, and love one another. Relationships are bulit and nurtered by making visitors feel welcome and having activities outside of church that everyone can be apart of. For example it’s common for these churches to have potluck lunches after church. In my experience many protestants go to church because of the relationships that are built and nurtured through these activities.

This is where I don’t understand the Catholic Church. The more I think on and study the Gospels I see that Christianity is about relationships. It’s about relationships with God and relationships with others. Jesus made this clear with what he said in Matthew 22:37-40.

The last few years I have regularly attended mass and I have yet to feel welcome. I have found it almost impossible to develop relationships at Catholic churches. It just doesn’t seem important to Catholics.

One last comment, I find it interesting that Catholics refer to Protestant Christianity with phrases like “me and Jesus” and “personal relationship with Jesus”. From the outside the Catholic Church seems much more individualistic then the Protestant Church. Just something to think about.

 

[puzzleannie]

I …

It seems that in my Catholic experience, everyone just keeps to him or herself… I think that people think that if you have Jesus, you don’t need people… and Who knows - maybe you don’t (??)… I mean, if people are going to be like that, i guess i don’t…

or it may be that you just don’t know many Catholics.

is there some reason why you feel that a prerequisite fo being close to Jesus, or having strong faith, is that you discuss your inmost feelings and spiritual life with others? that may come easily to some people of any faith, but others, of whatever religious heritage, feel these things are private. I also do not talk about my marriage or family to strangers, casual friends, or fellow church members. that does not mean I do not love my family and husband deeply, it just means I am a private person.

I think it is easy for us to confuse peripherals, personalities, regional, ethnic and societal differences, with actual faith and spiritual strength, to our detriment.

on the other hand, I have belonged to small faith sharing communities, bible study groups, lay institutes and similar small groups within my Catholic parishes in which after a period of formation and getting to know one another, very deep sharing on a spiritual level has gone on. But you would not know that about me if you just met me after Mass on Sunday, and if you judged my spirituality by my demeanor then, you would be quite mistaken.

I just returned from a social function at a neighboring parishes, where volunteers in almost 30 parish ministries, apostolates and outreaches were recognized–yes they all got a pin, but their idea of recognition was that the voluneers prepared and SERVED the meal to the other members who attended. This is an active, warm friendly, welcoming group of people who are known city wide for what they do, and are helping to energize the other Catholic parishes in town, and some non-Catholic churches who share in some of the activities such as the food bank. from that will inevitably come evangelization.

no one who enters their church feels unwelcome, in fact there have been complaints that you can’t walk in there without someone buttonholing you, asking your opinion, (name removed by moderator)ut, participation in something or other.

Yes, we do not put a stress on forming community and welcoming chit-chat at Mass because once inside the Church we are there to worship God, not each other, and we understand that it is Christ, through His action in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, who forms the community of His Body, not our own actions and efforts that accomplish this. We save the welcoming, fellowship, whatever you want to call it, for the actual social events and venues, not during worship.

 

[MarcoPolo]

I think this is anecdotal. It may also be that a Catholic is more likely to evangelize in the way St. Francis taught: without using words.

 

[FatBoy]

Well, well. It seems that your writing about a “personal relationship”. Again, very interesting coming from a Catholic.

By the way, how do you rationalize Hebrews 10:24-25? It states, “…and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

You seem to be arguing simply to argue.

 

[puzzleannie]

Well, well. It seems that your writing about a “personal relationship”. Again, very interesting coming from a Catholic.

By the way, how do you rationalize Hebrews 10:24-25? It states, “…and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

You seem to be arguing simply to argue.

who is arguing? I see no post that is an argument, simply people sharing their experiences. if their experience does not match yours or mine, that does not make an argument, it just makes a difference.

 

[FatBoy]

lol…ok! ok! Do you mind answering my question?

 

[puzzleannie]

what question? why should I have to rationalize this verse? it makes perfectly good sense.

 

[BSHoop96]

Well, well. It seems that your writing about a “personal relationship”. Again, very interesting coming from a Catholic.

By the way, how do you rationalize Hebrews 10:24-25? It states, “…and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

You seem to be arguing simply to argue.

We don’t mean to be unfriendly. But Catholics go to Mass to worship and we start by praying quietly to ourselves when we enter. Even this has changed somewhat as the years have gone by. Some Catholic churches are a lot noiser than they used to be. Just because we are quiet and introspective before Mass does not mean we’re not happy. Have you attended any classes or groups outside of Mass? I think that would help you meet people. Since you are not Catholic an Inquiry Class or even RCIA would be great for you. They won’t ask you to sign on the dotted line, I promise. Good luck.

 

[Tonks40]

Catholics cold? Unfriendly? To themselves???

Quite the contrary!

Go to any gathering or function at my parish outside of Mass…and you won’t find a more friendlier, open, fun-loving, joyful group of people! Never a moment goes by at my parish where someone isn’t saying “hello” to me, or giving me a smile, a wave, or a friendly gesture.

And it’s not just my parish only. Other parishes I go to have the same atmosphere. These are spirit-filled, wonderful people who are happy to be part of the Church and the community.

Of course, while inside the Church, reverence is observed (for the most part). Prior to Mass I don’t bother a lot of people because I know that they are preparing themselves and are in prayer.

And…people don’t bother me.

 

[water]

I think that people think that if you have Jesus, you don’t need people.

Only the proud who would say he does not need anyone including Jesus.

At the Catholic church, there is time for mass and there is time for socializing; these two don’t mix together.

 

[wina]

All, I think I’m kinda person who like going to quite mass. So I can be more focus to the mass. About unfriendlier, cold etc, well, some people will think those because they may not understand the way the mass should be. I’m not active at the church only once a while as collector and join prayer group. But I do believe that there are many ways to share your faith and God’s love to others not only active at the church but can be active in other social fields which may not run by catholic. That’s only my opinion.
Peace and God bless

 

[Pug]

I sometimes feel that people are anti-Catholic not so much because of the doctrines and practices of the Church but because… well, the Catholics themselves are kind of… (don’t know what word to use)… I guess i would have to say They are sometimes cold, un-caring (seemingly) and, well, not very “spiritual”…

I think it is probably true that some people don’t become or stay Christian because of that saying (which I will mangle, no doubt, someone give the right saying, please…)

The best reason not to be Christian is Christians.

We do give scandal to other people by our bad behavior. That whole millstone saying of Jesus is a good reminder.

It seems that in my Catholic experience, everyone just keeps to him or herself… I think that people think that if you have Jesus, you don’t need people… and Who knows - maybe you don’t (??)… I mean, if people are going to be like that, i guess i don’t…

I think it is very clear that we all need each other. How can the eye say to the hand, “I don’t need you”? We are all one body. The Holy Spirit gives us gifts for the building up of the Church, and that means other Christians, not the buildings and grounds. (Well, the buildings and grounds, too. For some, that is one of their gifts, which I highly appreciate.)

 

[fhansen]

I sometimes feel that people are anti-Catholic not so much because of the doctrines and practices of the Church but because… well, the Catholics themselves are kind of… (don’t know what word to use)… I guess i would have to say They are sometimes cold, un-caring (seemingly) and, well, not very “spiritual”…

I have been to AA meetings and people there seem (usually) pretty down-to-earth … They talk about the things they are dealing with in their lives… they admit mistakes… they empathize with one another and everyone can usually relate to one another…

It seems that in my Catholic experience, everyone just keeps to him or herself… I think that people think that if you have Jesus, you don’t need people… and Who knows - maybe you don’t (??)… I mean, if people are going to be like that, i guess i don’t…

There’s a fairly wide span of opinions about our faith for one thing-as can sometimes be seen here on the forums. Coming from a stint with the Pentecostals where people try hard to practice brother and sisterhood (even if it can be a bit forced at times) and where there’s usually a closer agreement on their beliefs, right or wrong, Catholics can seem a bit too private in their faith to me, even since I’ve come back to the CC. Maybe I’m an idealist but I like the early Churchs’ emphasis on love and sharing and openness between Christians. But what works for me is to have close relationships with like-minded Catholics through small groups-such as bible studies and the ministries I’m involved in.

 

[TheGreenO]

I think it is true you won’t see people standing around socializing at Mass. There are other occasions for that. Like breakfast after Mass, group meetings during different parts of the week, and social events planned by the community. So yes, we need to encourage each other to be in a relationship with Christ, but the Mass is an hour or so of worship solely to Him. We aren’t there to chat with the person next to us. I would encourage anyone that is learning about Catholicism to go to these events too. Unfortunately for some, the 1 hour on Sunday is all that they give, but many, many people give much more of there time to Christ and to others.

 

[whatevergirl]

The Catholic faith will always come up against scrutiny, because it was the first organized Christian faith, and as we believe, the one True Church, as instituted by Peter, given the call to do so, by Jesus.

In addition, the RCC always takes the moral high ground. She doesn’t sway with popular opinion, or water down the faith to suit the people who threaten to depart. So, while it could be for social reasons, or that it appears some Catholics lack joy (I have seen that too, it’s sad–Jesus taught us to be unafraid, and to have great joy. Our faith isn’t solely based on suffering, but that’s a thread for another time) I think one of the main reasons, is that people these days like to find parishes that entertain, and suit their individual needs. The Catholic faith is about servitude, and worship…and about growing holier. It is about loving our neighbor, but not about bending doctrine to suit people who are not comfortable with it.

Just my two cents on why the RCC is so scrutinized and persecuted.

 

[BSHoop96]

In addition, the RCC always takes the moral high ground. She doesn’t sway with popular opinion, or water down the faith to suit the people who threaten to depart…I think one of the main reasons, is that people these days like to find parishes that entertain, and suit their individual needs. The Catholic faith is about servitude, and worship…and about growing holier. It is about loving our neighbor, but not about bending doctrine to suit people who are not comfortable with it.

Well said! I do understand how sometimes it is hard to find your niche in a new situation. On the other hand, I am often surprised at how many people want the Church to change for them rather than the other way 'round.

 

[Brian_Stacy]

Personally, when I attended Mass with a friend several times in 2006, I didn’t understand the “why” of everything that Catholics do.

Apparently that is the same problem many people don’t understand the Catholic Church and the Catholic faith. I am soon to be a candidate for confirmation and acceptance in the fall and am more than excited about my journey as a candidate to become Catholic.

I was raised Pentecostal Holiness, so you can imagine the future shock my family will express when I finally say, “Oh by the way, I’m Catholic.” I know my mom will be calling pastors on the phone and asking them to talk with me. LOL!

But no, Catholics are far from unfriendliness, Mass is reserved for worship of God and God alone. Outside of Mass, Catholics are the most fun to be around. I’m looking forward to that myself.

It would be nice if people would realize the “why” of what goes on, but for the Catholics it is up to them {us, once I finally am confirmed and accepted} to express and emphasize the purpose of Mass and the reverence that is to take place before it begins. Afterwards it’s smiles and laughter.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Non-Catholics visiting a Catholic Parish and experiencing a coldness, is real, and it has more to do with Catholic Culture than anything else.

Most Catholics are cradle-Catholics, that is, they’re Baptized as infants, and raised in a Catholic parish.

For them, Sunday and Holy Day Mass attendance is mandatory, with the threat of mortal sin hanging over them.

However, when many cradle-Catholics hit their teens, they leave the Church, or attend, on an irregular basis, unless they’re still living at home and their parents make them attend. Others just continue to attend, out of the sense of obligation and conformity. A few, have a deep faith commitment.

There are some who had left the Church return, after having a religious experience and Christ comes into their life in a big way. They are all fired up, and get involved at a higher degree than many of their fellow Catholics. However, their zeal usually wanes as their prayer life deepens and they have a more of a personal relation with Christ, rather than the community aspect.

What I’m trying to describe here is, Catholic parishes consist of a wide variety of people who are at different levels of faith. The one aspect that they share in common however, is the Eucharist.
Outside of Mass, most just return home and carry on with their daily life. A few others get involved in parish ministry. This also had a lot to do with the fact that many of the baby-boomer aged Catholics, grew up in parishes where the nuns and priest did just about everything. Thats changing, but in the North East, it seems parishioners haven’t gotten the idea yet. Parish closings are becoming a wake up call for them.

If you contrast the culture, compared to a newly formed Evangelical Christian Bible Church, its night and day. The Evangelical Church is going to have a majority of people who attend, who are fired up about their faith. They attend services, because they desire it, not because they feel obligated to. As a result, the majority are sharing a same general level of faith and are involved in their parish life to a higher degree than Catholics do in their parishes.

There are exceptions, but from my 57 years of being a Catholic, this seems to be the common thread.

Jim

 

[catherineajt]

I find this thread interesting, because one thing that really bothered my (then) fiance when I took him to a nondenominational Christian church (I was wandering, but eventually returned Home) was what he called the “over-friendliness” of the people. He commented that they didn’t seem at ease unless they could hug him, lay hands on him, and otherwise bother him. He felt his personal space was being violated, almost. I confess it disturbed me to have people I barely knew coming up and asking to pray with me, to lay their hands on my head and say they felt “called to pray on me.”

I think another poster got it right: Mass is for worshipping God, not a social hour. Many parishes do have coffee hours after the liturgy (mine does), and if you go to those you will see very friendly people! In addition, I’ve been to many Catholic parishes where the people were friendly–not as in, “I’ll sit down here and chat with you before Mass” but smiling, nodding, and otherwise acknowledging each other as fellow Christians.

I think in general, the Protestant churches emphasize personal relationships between the parishioners and Catholic churches emphasize an individual’s personal relationship with God.