H
Helenabee
Guest
Hello,
I have a question mostly geared towards medical professionals who are catholic, but I’m open to all advice please! It is about sex and I hope I’m not being too inappropriate or offensive. I’ll try to be as clinical as possible.
I’m a 27 year old female (I was raised Lutheran) and I’ve been with my Catholic boyfriend (converted 4/2014) for 4.5 years. We are committed and very serious about our relationship. Since his conversion, we’ve been in a relatively chaste relationship. I’ll admit that we do still kiss and “make out” but never go past that. It was very difficult for me at first (I’ve been in sexual relationships before yet I was his first and he’s only had one relationship before me) but we love each other very much and I accepted his new lifestyle. Even though I experience times where I really desire him, I still abstain and understand.
Anyway… for 6 years I’ve suffered pelvic disorders (vulgar vestibulitis syndrome, allodynia, vaginismus) as a result of multiple surgeries I had when I was younger. It’s horrible, painful, and depressing. I’ve tried several treatments and then gave up. I learned to live with the pain everyday convincing myself that I’ll never be able to have pain free love making, get rid of the discomfort in my bladder, sit down comfortably, and a whole mess of other things.
But then I recently started pelvic therapy and my life has changed. Everything we’ve done has helped. I’ve improved so much and I even impress my physical therapist! I’m happy for me for the first time in years.
Anyway, my medical question. Today she discussed an exercise that involves my partner (which is the first time we’ve ever approached one with him involved). Most of the women who see her cannot make love with their partners and husbands without pain. The exercise involves the partner inserting a certain size dilator into the vaginal opening, holding it there while deep breathing, and stretching slowly. I’ve been gradually going up in sizes on my own and experience little pain. But it’s mostly because I know when I’m doing it. My nerves are more relaxed because I know when to expect intrusion and I have control. But I won’t when we will eventually be able to make love as a married couple. I trust my physical therapist and everything we’ve been doing has worked.
I just don’t know how to approach this. Is this okay because it will help cure my disorder? What if covered myself with a towel? I really don’t think I can ask anyone else to do this because that’d be mortifying! I’d be lying if I said the thought does bring some arousal, but honestly? I’ve never felt pleasure from dilator insertion or any other similar object. It just feels like a plastic foreign object.
Thanks for reading this, I’m sorry if it offends anyone. I know it’s long and I tried to keep it as clinical as possible. I know where I can ask a local priest this question as well and will try. Thanks again.
I have a question mostly geared towards medical professionals who are catholic, but I’m open to all advice please! It is about sex and I hope I’m not being too inappropriate or offensive. I’ll try to be as clinical as possible.
I’m a 27 year old female (I was raised Lutheran) and I’ve been with my Catholic boyfriend (converted 4/2014) for 4.5 years. We are committed and very serious about our relationship. Since his conversion, we’ve been in a relatively chaste relationship. I’ll admit that we do still kiss and “make out” but never go past that. It was very difficult for me at first (I’ve been in sexual relationships before yet I was his first and he’s only had one relationship before me) but we love each other very much and I accepted his new lifestyle. Even though I experience times where I really desire him, I still abstain and understand.
Anyway… for 6 years I’ve suffered pelvic disorders (vulgar vestibulitis syndrome, allodynia, vaginismus) as a result of multiple surgeries I had when I was younger. It’s horrible, painful, and depressing. I’ve tried several treatments and then gave up. I learned to live with the pain everyday convincing myself that I’ll never be able to have pain free love making, get rid of the discomfort in my bladder, sit down comfortably, and a whole mess of other things.
But then I recently started pelvic therapy and my life has changed. Everything we’ve done has helped. I’ve improved so much and I even impress my physical therapist! I’m happy for me for the first time in years.
Anyway, my medical question. Today she discussed an exercise that involves my partner (which is the first time we’ve ever approached one with him involved). Most of the women who see her cannot make love with their partners and husbands without pain. The exercise involves the partner inserting a certain size dilator into the vaginal opening, holding it there while deep breathing, and stretching slowly. I’ve been gradually going up in sizes on my own and experience little pain. But it’s mostly because I know when I’m doing it. My nerves are more relaxed because I know when to expect intrusion and I have control. But I won’t when we will eventually be able to make love as a married couple. I trust my physical therapist and everything we’ve been doing has worked.
I just don’t know how to approach this. Is this okay because it will help cure my disorder? What if covered myself with a towel? I really don’t think I can ask anyone else to do this because that’d be mortifying! I’d be lying if I said the thought does bring some arousal, but honestly? I’ve never felt pleasure from dilator insertion or any other similar object. It just feels like a plastic foreign object.
Thanks for reading this, I’m sorry if it offends anyone. I know it’s long and I tried to keep it as clinical as possible. I know where I can ask a local priest this question as well and will try. Thanks again.
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