Is this true repentance?

[Hermione]

Hello everyone,

I was thinking that if I hadn’t lived the life I lived (including sins), then everything would be strikingly different and I wouldn’t be with my fiance.

I love my fiance very much and want to be with him. So I would rather have lived the life I lived than have changed things and been without him.

Now, this applies to sins. Can I be truly repentant if I wish I had sinned and met my fiance later than not sinned and never met him at all?

Am very scared! Please help.

Thanks

P.S. Ideally I would have never sinned but still met my fiance!

 

[AlanFromWichita]

That is an excellent question.

The way you ask it makes it sound to me like you have nothing to worry about except guilt from the past.

To have regretted the sins because they hurt God is perfectly healthy, and reconciliation is the cure.

Rejoicing in what the Lord is giving you today is also perfectly healthy, and everybody knows that had you not sinned your life would be different. That applies to all of us. If we feel guilty over the gifts we have today because of our sins that have been forgiven, then we are denying the gift of forgiveness that Jesus came to give us.

Saint Paul would never have been what he was if he hadn’t sinned. Nor would St. Augustine. For that matter, without the sins of Augustine, St. Monica (after whom we named one of our daughters) would probably not have been a saint. Remember without sin we wouldn’t have saints.

One exception is if there is an obvious way to correct the past sins’ temporal effects. For example, if your past sin was to rob a bank, then continuing to spend the money now would probably still be a sin. If you are talking about sins of the flesh, for which you have no way to atone, then let them go. Rejoice not in the sins but in the gifts you are given today – indeed your daily bread.

Do not be afraid. Jesus came exactly for people like you. I believe he wants to you get on with your life and play the cards you’re dealt. Enjoy your life with your fiance with no guilt. To do anything but would be to remain bound by the chains of the past when Jesus has already released you from those chains. Accept His gift of forgiveness and forgive yourself.

You might also consider finding a spiritual director if you don’t already have one, and in case you haven’t considered it, you might wish to consider going on an engaged encounter. In my own situation we got premarital counseling at Catholic Charities in town (on a sliding scale) which I believe contributed to the health of my marriage.

Good luck, God Bless, and I pray that you will be completely free from this yoke which is from satan. He would like to keep you bound to your sins, never having peace in this moment.

Alan

 

[BibleReader]

Hermione:

Hello everyone,

I was thinking that if I hadn’t lived the life I lived (including sins), then everything would be strikingly different and I wouldn’t be with my fiance.

I love my fiance very much and want to be with him. So I would rather have lived the life I lived than have changed things and been without him.

Now, this applies to sins. Can I be truly repentant if I wish I had sinned and met my fiance later than not sinned and never met him at all?

Am very scared! Please help.

Thanks

P.S. Ideally I would have never sinned but still met my fiance!

Life and the cleverness with which God works His miracles for us through life is so complex that He easily solves all problems for His saints and also for sinners who go to Him for assistance.

Sometimes, God even structures things so that good for us is achieved through our sins!

But that doesn’t in any sense “bless” our sins. They are still sins.

God even does good for, and blesses, the damned in this life!

But, they are still damned.

You, I think, should also beware of over-prioritizing your fiance, and also of misunderstanding him.

Normally, God gives us to each other for the sake of our mutual salvation. You say, “fiance” this and “fiance” that and “fiance,” “fiance,” “fiance,” but how likely is it that he’ll turn out to be an “ordinary human slob” like me who hurts people including you with his sins so that you’ll be tempted to rue the day you met him and grit your teeth and file for divorce, rather than work and pray for his salvation?

Or, perhaps I have it reversed. Perhaps God has sent you someone who will straighten out your foolishness, because you are the “ordinary human slob” who needs the helpmate to get her to Heaven.

Or, perhaps God gave you – two imperfect human beings – to each other to help each other find the door to Heaven together, with each other’s strengths.

No matter what, kiddo, wake up, and pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, apologize to God for “bar-hopping” or whatever life of sin you were hinting at above, and be “ballsy” but ultimately loving in your search for salvation with your fiance. That is the itinerary.

 

[MariaG]

I too met my husband under circumstances that I hope my children never get into. I too cannot imagine my life (17 years married, 19 years together) without him. Nor would I change any of the choices I have made, because they are part of who I am now.

Yes, you can truly be repentant of the sins you have committed but not be sorry for meeting your fiance.

Think of it this way, What if one of your sins was to have relations outside of marriage, and the result was a child. Do you have to regret having a child in order to regret the sin that made the child? NO! You can rejoice in the gift of the child that God gave you and still be sorry that you sinned. It is the same way as with your fiance. You do not have to regret having met him even though you regret the circumstances that brought it about.

God Bless,
Maria

 

[SPOKENWORD]

What good would it be to gain to gain the world and lose your soul? If you put God first in your life and follow Him and pray, He will give you whatever you ask for according to His will. God Bless