4
4love2God
Guest
Groo responds :
[1] "In the Gospels, Jesus raises the standard of adultery beyond the physical to the emotional (e.g. looking with lust; adultery of the heart).
[2] The wife is becoming emotionally attached to another man. So
[3] there is a kind of adultery on the emotional level already. And
[4] when women get attached on an emotional level, the physical often follows."
**[2] **There is NO Evidence that Hiroyoshi’s Wife is becoming emotionally attached to her Friend.
If there was Evidence of Adultery (or, extreme attachment), then he probably would have said so.
So, if it is Just your Adultery-Focused mind which makes that connection for you, then it is.
Further, even if that WERE True, you should have explained which Vow you were accusing her of breaking.
After all, you were VERY Firm in your admonition to Hiroyoshi about this situation.
**[3] **And, here is where you point your finger at Hiroyoshi’s Wife . . . and announce to the World that she is ALREADY an Adulterer.
This is your Conclusion, based upon your Prejudices (with NO Evidence to support it).
I imagine that around your Church, you Gossip your head off about all the Fornicating (and pre-Fornicating) that you imagine is taking place.
I say this, because you have Gossiped in this case (and unfairly twisted the Facts around, in order to come to your agreed-upon Conclusion ahead of time).
I guess if you attend a LARGE Church, you could turn this into a full-time job.
[4] Now, you are implying that Hiroyoshi’s Wife is having HOT, Steamy Sex with her Friend.
This is a “Slippery Slope” argument, that you have infused with False facts to prove it.
Your Prejudice (demonstrated by your display of broken-Logic) is impressive.
So, now you have another Juicy “Cheating” case to share with your friends.
I think you Bear False Witness against Hiroyoshi’s Wife.
This (of the 10 Commandments) was put into place to keep people like you from saying Bad things about someone, that you don’t know to be True.
God was tired of Gossips and Back-biters . . . I am, too.
Then, finally, you backed-down from your Accusation of Adultery, and tentatively faced the Truth.
You said** : “At best, this is a near occasion of sin.”**
This is Progress . . . You claim that she may NOT be Sinning at all.
And, this is the Problem with labeling someone as an Adulterer (when you have NO direct Evidence), and (at best) sketchy in-Direct Evidence upon which to rely.
This would have been perfectly OK-enough for you to have said to Hiroyoshi.
Because (after all) most of us find ourselves in the “Near Occasion of Sin” from time to time.
And, our Spirituality (usually) helps steer us away from actually COMMITTING a Sin.
Groo said** : “We don’t know what she is doing when she visits this guy, but I would bet they are not playing scrabble.”**
Now, you have (in One Sentence) managed to ADMIT that you have NO idea of whether Hiroyoshi’s Wife MIGHT be Sinning or not . . . up to a twisted statement, which says that she may not like to play Scrabble.
I have several friends who do not want to play Scrabble (especially people who can’t write well), because Spelling the Word Correctly is the whole point of the Game.
But, I think you are using this Scrabble Game issue as a back-handed way to say that you Strongly Suspect that Hiroyoshi’s Wife is having Sexual Intercourse with her Friend.
So, now the whole circle of your Condemnation of Hiroyoshi’s Wife is Complete.
Accusation of Adultery … Suspicion of Adultery … Maybe no Adultery at all … (and back to an) in-Direct Accusation of Adultery again.
Then, Groo makes his clean-up point** : “That is why I suggested the OP remind his wife of her wedding vows. This is to warn her against falling further into sin; and to set reasonable boundaries.”**
This is good. First, you admit that she may not have Sinned at all. Then you claim that Hiroyoshi needs to warn his Wife " against falling further into sin." This is a Mutually-exclusive argument. When a person has NOT Sinned in an area of her Life, then she CANNOT fall further into that Sin (which she has NOT committed).
Hiroyoshi told you what he wanted from the Members of the Forum :** “any advice on how to handle this with Kindness and Compassion would be appreciated.”**
I do not think that your Response to him was either Kind or Compassionate.
If he had wanted advice on how to punish his Wife … then your Response would have been On-Point.
But he didn’t … and so you weren’t.
All in all . . . I think you owe Hiroyoshi an Apology for your Public Announcement that his Wife is an Adulterer.
[1] "In the Gospels, Jesus raises the standard of adultery beyond the physical to the emotional (e.g. looking with lust; adultery of the heart).
[2] The wife is becoming emotionally attached to another man. So
[3] there is a kind of adultery on the emotional level already. And
[4] when women get attached on an emotional level, the physical often follows."
**[2] **There is NO Evidence that Hiroyoshi’s Wife is becoming emotionally attached to her Friend.
If there was Evidence of Adultery (or, extreme attachment), then he probably would have said so.
So, if it is Just your Adultery-Focused mind which makes that connection for you, then it is.
Further, even if that WERE True, you should have explained which Vow you were accusing her of breaking.
After all, you were VERY Firm in your admonition to Hiroyoshi about this situation.
**[3] **And, here is where you point your finger at Hiroyoshi’s Wife . . . and announce to the World that she is ALREADY an Adulterer.
This is your Conclusion, based upon your Prejudices (with NO Evidence to support it).
I imagine that around your Church, you Gossip your head off about all the Fornicating (and pre-Fornicating) that you imagine is taking place.
I say this, because you have Gossiped in this case (and unfairly twisted the Facts around, in order to come to your agreed-upon Conclusion ahead of time).
I guess if you attend a LARGE Church, you could turn this into a full-time job.
[4] Now, you are implying that Hiroyoshi’s Wife is having HOT, Steamy Sex with her Friend.
This is a “Slippery Slope” argument, that you have infused with False facts to prove it.
Your Prejudice (demonstrated by your display of broken-Logic) is impressive.
So, now you have another Juicy “Cheating” case to share with your friends.
I think you Bear False Witness against Hiroyoshi’s Wife.
This (of the 10 Commandments) was put into place to keep people like you from saying Bad things about someone, that you don’t know to be True.
God was tired of Gossips and Back-biters . . . I am, too.
Then, finally, you backed-down from your Accusation of Adultery, and tentatively faced the Truth.
You said** : “At best, this is a near occasion of sin.”**
This is Progress . . . You claim that she may NOT be Sinning at all.
And, this is the Problem with labeling someone as an Adulterer (when you have NO direct Evidence), and (at best) sketchy in-Direct Evidence upon which to rely.
This would have been perfectly OK-enough for you to have said to Hiroyoshi.
Because (after all) most of us find ourselves in the “Near Occasion of Sin” from time to time.
And, our Spirituality (usually) helps steer us away from actually COMMITTING a Sin.
Groo said** : “We don’t know what she is doing when she visits this guy, but I would bet they are not playing scrabble.”**
Now, you have (in One Sentence) managed to ADMIT that you have NO idea of whether Hiroyoshi’s Wife MIGHT be Sinning or not . . . up to a twisted statement, which says that she may not like to play Scrabble.
I have several friends who do not want to play Scrabble (especially people who can’t write well), because Spelling the Word Correctly is the whole point of the Game.
But, I think you are using this Scrabble Game issue as a back-handed way to say that you Strongly Suspect that Hiroyoshi’s Wife is having Sexual Intercourse with her Friend.
So, now the whole circle of your Condemnation of Hiroyoshi’s Wife is Complete.
Accusation of Adultery … Suspicion of Adultery … Maybe no Adultery at all … (and back to an) in-Direct Accusation of Adultery again.
Then, Groo makes his clean-up point** : “That is why I suggested the OP remind his wife of her wedding vows. This is to warn her against falling further into sin; and to set reasonable boundaries.”**
This is good. First, you admit that she may not have Sinned at all. Then you claim that Hiroyoshi needs to warn his Wife " against falling further into sin." This is a Mutually-exclusive argument. When a person has NOT Sinned in an area of her Life, then she CANNOT fall further into that Sin (which she has NOT committed).
Hiroyoshi told you what he wanted from the Members of the Forum :** “any advice on how to handle this with Kindness and Compassion would be appreciated.”**
I do not think that your Response to him was either Kind or Compassionate.
If he had wanted advice on how to punish his Wife … then your Response would have been On-Point.
But he didn’t … and so you weren’t.
All in all . . . I think you owe Hiroyoshi an Apology for your Public Announcement that his Wife is an Adulterer.
