Is this worth pursuing?

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BadTurkey

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So this is about a girl. Met her at a Bible study a couple of years ago. There was mutual interest, so she and I went on 1.5 dates. I say “1.5,” because the first one was a semi-date. Then things cooled off, presumably because I said I might be leaving for school, but it could be other reasons. There was pretty much no contact for over a year. Then since I’m now really leaving the area in 2 months, I shot her an email to keep in touch. She replied a couple of weeks later. I’m not quite sure how to interpret her email, but it looks like she’s leaving the area too in August to start school. She asked me when I’ll be leaving for school and a few other questions about school. She ended the email by saying “Talk to you soon.”

I’m trying to decide whether I should ask her to grab coffee sometime to catch up before I leave the area. 2 months is too short to really start anything, right? I mean, she and I are going to be 500 miles apart at the respective schools. I’m actually kinda regretting sending her the email, because I really liked this girl, and I’m reluctant to go through that again. Maybe she’s just being friendly, and I’m reading way too much into it. Oh well.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
 
If you want to email her about coffee, I think you should. The fact that it took her two weeks to return your email would lead me to believe that she’s just being friendly and not reading anything else into the situation. Who knows what might happen! You could meet up, decide that you’re madly in love and she could change her plans to be closer to you, or you could try a long distance relationship…OR it could turn out that you’re just good friends who keep in touch and get together when you’re both home for summers or breaks. I had a guy like that when I was in school. He turned out to be my best friend and we had so much fun together, but there wasn’t ever any pressure to remain exclusive when we were back at our respective colleges. Years (YEARS!) later, we both ended up “back home” permanently. Now, he’s my husband. 😃
 
lada said:
If you want to email her about coffee, I think you should. The fact that it took her two weeks to return your email would lead me to believe that she’s just being friendly and not reading anything else into the situation. Who knows what might happen! You could meet up, decide that you’re madly in love and she could change her plans to be closer to you, or you could try a long distance relationship…OR it could turn out that you’re just good friends who keep in touch and get together when you’re both home for summers or breaks. I had a guy like that when I was in school. He turned out to be my best friend and we had so much fun together, but there wasn’t ever any pressure to remain exclusive when we were back at our respective colleges. Years (YEARS!) later, we both ended up “back home” permanently. Now, he’s my husband. 😃
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Thank you for the thoughtful reply. The non-exclusiveness part sounds interesting. Before people start thinking I’m a typical guy, though, let me say that I think one of the reasons things cooled off might’ve been because I came on too strong, and it scared her off. I am leaning towards asking her for coffee, even if it’s just friends.
 
BadTurkey said:
Thank you for the thoughtful reply. The non-exclusiveness part sounds interesting. Before people start thinking I’m a typical guy, though, let me say that I think one of the reasons things cooled off might’ve been because I came on too strong, and it scared her off. I am leaning towards asking her for coffee, even if it’s just friends.
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If you are wanting to spend some time with her to see how it feels, ask her to go for coffee. That’s an easy date, no big time commitment for either of you. As a “girl” I would suggest, however, that if she does accept the invitation, that you keep things cool for the time being.
I have always held in high regard a man, that can wait. I want to feel safe when I am with a man. And that takes more than 1.5 dates. You have time. I know, you’re both going to school in different places - but if a relationship between the two of you is meant to be, you have time.

Good look and God Bless,
Hope
 
Oh, heck, it’s always nice to spend time in the company of a pleasant member of the opposite sex. Take it for what it is.
 
srlucado said:
Oh, heck, it’s always nice to spend time in the company of a pleasant member of the opposite sex. Take it for what it is.
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I totally agree with this! It’s always fun just to meet new people.

Be careful though, it’s very hard being in long distance releationship. Of course it can be done, but often times they fail
 
Just sent her an email, in which I asked her to coffee. Let’s see what happens.
 
If you meet up with her this weekend, bring along a chocolate bunny. They never fail.

And whatever you do, do not tell her that you asked for advice on an internet forum. Seriously.
 
Still haven’t heard anything from her. Guess it’s time to give up. I can understand why she wouldn’t want to, though; I’d probably do the same thing if I were in her shoes.
 
Well, maybe not give up entirely, but definitely time to quit holding your breath.

Lots of nice Catholic girls out there, though–go find another one.
 
srlucado said:
Well, maybe not give up entirely, but definitely time to quit holding your breath.

Lots of nice Catholic girls out there, though–go find another one.
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Yea, I’m definitely not holding my breath. It took me four days to get back to her, so I can’t complain. If it took me that long to make up my mind - and it’s still not made up - just imagine how long it would take a girl. Besides, there’re plenty of nice Catholic women in Ann Arbor, fingers crossed.
 
I would caution you against any hasty decisions. The time pressure may act against you, making you imagine things and overstate your actual desires. The forbidden fruit factor may get in, too. The inaccessible is always more attractive and the time constraints can prompt you to rash actions. On the other hand, it would indeed feel like a lamentable waste not to go and have a coffee. This probably gets us to, “Be careful.”
 
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