Is this wrong????

[Toni]

Now I understand your survey! I am sorry for you in regards to the attacks on your post.

As far as holding hands I am forced every week to deal with a parish that holds hands. My family and I simply fold our hands and pray the Our Father. I think the most annoying thing is when people just don’t get the fact that you don’t want to hold hands and try to grab your hand anyway.
I was blessed today to attend a parish miles away that I was a majority and two people holding hands a minority.
It is not wrong to fold your hands and pray and I would not let the liberals who so chose to have that touchy feely experience at Mass bother you. I think of Christ when He taught the apostles the Our Father and how He never said to them now lets all hold hands.

Another reason I do not like to hold hands is because germs spread faster through the hands and I don’t want everyone elses germs.

 

[dumspirospero]

Have you sent me one…my PM system is always screwed up…I get PM’s like a month after they were sent LOL…I promise I wasn’t ignoring you…Please send me another one and I will be on the lookout for it. God Bless

brotherhrolf:

OK I’m off topic. Hey Dum don’t you ever answer your pm?

 

[dumspirospero]

Thanks for your kind response. God Bless

Toni:

Now I understand your survey! I am sorry for you in regards to the attacks on your post.

As far as holding hands I am forced every week to deal with a parish that holds hands. My family and I simply fold our hands and pray the Our Father. I think the most annoying thing is when people just don’t get the fact that you don’t want to hold hands and try to grab your hand anyway.
I was blessed today to attend a parish miles away that I was a majority and two people holding hands a minority.
It is not wrong to fold your hands and pray and I would not let the liberals who so chose to have that touchy feely experience at Mass bother you. I think of Christ when He taught the apostles the Our Father and how He never said to them now lets all hold hands.

Another reason I do not like to hold hands is because germs spread faster through the hands and I don’t want everyone elses germs.

 

[pnewton]

In reference to the original post, I think you behaved very properly and in accordance to your conscience. It seems there are valid reasons to believe that this is an abuse, as many experts (the quote from EWTN, for example) believe. The arguement is one from silence on the matter in the GIRM based on canon law.

The only thing I would not agree on is that it is definitely an abuse. I have also heard other experts (conservative) including a canon lawyer that do not think it is as clear-cut. I, for one, found the silence on the matter in Redemptonius Sacrametuum defeaning. It has leaned me a little more to the “not an abuse” side.

In any case, if I was in your shoes, I would have followed my conscience and politely clasped my hands. Your fellow Christians should be charitable toward you and respect your convictions.

God bless.

 

[Lucania]

dumspirospero:

I usually go to SUnday morning Mass…but I wanted to sleep in tomorrow, so I went to vigil mass today. I went to the local Catholic Church…a Church I do not like, but I was busy and I needed to go somewhere close…anywho…there are a few liturgical abuses that go on at this place (that is why I drive 20 minutes to go somewhere else), such as holding hands during the “Our Father”…I refused to hold hands, instead I joined my two hands together as in prayer…even though people were staring at me expecting me to hold their hands…I just ignored them. Am I right for not taking part in liturgical abuse, or should I hold thier hands…because it has been said, “When in Rome…” I believe I am right for not taking part in this abuse.

I do the same thing. I fold my hands and close my eyes and bow my head. In my Church, most people do not hold hands. Last week I attended a church 5 minutes away from my home. I occasionally go there if I have other places to be and I’m pushed for time but will not miss Mass. Before I bowed my head and closed my eyes, I noticed that virtually everyone(and this is a very large parish with about 4 or 5 Mass times on Sunday) held their hands out and raised while saying the Our Father. I did not notice anyone holding hands. I had not been there in about 2 months, so in that amount of time, they changed their norm, which was primarily holding hands.

 

[JKirkLVNV]

Dum: You weren’t wrong. You didn’t act uncharitibly. This is an abuse, but most folks don’t know it, so I think it is probably without sin on their part. This is an example of why we need better liturgical catechisis, but then, we’d have to get alllllllll the bishops on board (such as the Cardinal Archbishop of Los Angeles, who still consecrates the wine while it is in flagons on the altar, though we’ve been told not to do that) and then allllll the priests. I sing in the choir, so I don’t have to contend with this. Another thing I find disturbing is the “mirroring” of the priest’s gestures, ie., extending the hands toward him in response to his same gesture to us, the orans position on the part of the laity (perfectly acceptable during private prayer, but with a tendency to blur the distinction between the congregation and the presiding priest if done at the Mass).

 

[pnewton]

I have seen several people declare definitively that the holding of hands during the “Our Father” is an abuse. Does anyone know of any authoritative (Vatican, USCCB, Congregation on Sacred Liturgy, etc.) that states this?

 

[dumspirospero]

I agree…I don’t like the congregation extending their hands in the orans position like the Priest either…it makes me uncomfortable for some reason and I think I am back in an evangelical Church or something What ever happened to hands clasped together in front of you during prayer??? I wish that would become the standard.

JKirkLVNV:

Dum: You weren’t wrong. You didn’t act uncharitibly. This is an abuse, but most folks don’t know it, so I think it is probably without sin on their part. This is an example of why we need better liturgical catechisis, but then, we’d have to get alllllllll the bishops on board (such as the Cardinal Archbishop of Los Angeles, who still consecrates the wine while it is in flagons on the altar, though we’ve been told not to do that) and then allllll the priests. I sing in the choir, so I don’t have to contend with this. Another thing I find disturbing is the “mirroring” of the priest’s gestures, ie., extending the hands toward him in response to his same gesture to us, the orans position on the part of the laity (perfectly acceptable during private prayer, but with a tendency to blur the distinction between the congregation and the presiding priest if done at the Mass).

 

[iamrefreshed]

I am attending a new Church in Florida where this is done. Having grown up in NYC and attending traditional Masses I found it unsettling at first. They also do not kneel the second time before Communion.

I decided the hand holding was OK but I was uncomfortable not kneeling while awaiting my Communion.

I’m the only guy in Church kneeling before Communion now!

 

[Tom]

dumspirospero:

What ever happened to hands clasped together in front of you during prayer??? I wish that would become the standard.

Hmmm, my profession requires me to keep my hand occupied while I work, yet I pray most of the time I’m working. God hears me fine with my hands folded or not in front of me. Folding hands is an outward sign of reverence, it certainly isn’t wrong, but remember what Jesus taught us about prayer, go into your room where no one else can see… I say grace prior to meals, yet don’t perform the sign of the cross, fold my hands, bow my head, nor any outward sign that I’m praying. Same with holding hands, it doesn’t make it any better or worse to hold hands or not, neither does it make it better or worse to fold your hands during prayer.

 

[dumspirospero]

Well…I understand what you are saying, but I do not find where it is applicable at Mass, when you are joined with a hundred people all saying the same prayer in the same room…how can you hide it? Everyone there is doing the same thing…all I am saying is that it isn’t proper to hold hands while saying the Our Father…and holding your hands orans position mimicking the priest really bothers me for some reason. I am not talking about private prayer.

Tom:

Hmmm, my profession requires me to keep my hand occupied while I work, yet I pray most of the time I’m working. God hears me fine with my hands folded or not in front of me. Folding hands is an outward sign of reverence, it certainly isn’t wrong, but remember what Jesus taught us about prayer, go into your room where no one else can see… I say grace prior to meals, yet don’t perform the sign of the cross, fold my hands, bow my head, nor any outward sign that I’m praying. Same with holding hands, it doesn’t make it any better or worse to hold hands or not, neither does it make it better or worse to fold your hands during prayer.

 

[Catholic_Girlie]

You were correct to NOT hold hands. We must always act with charity and a priest told me once that the most charitable response we can have in a situation like that is to set the proper example, and when we refuse to go along with behavior not called for in the rubrics, do it lovingly. I, too, clasp my hands together and put my head down and if someone were to ask me, I would say, “No, thank you,” and then explain AFTER Mass if they wanted to know why.

Bravo to you, for doing what is appropriate even though difficult.