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DaShadow577
Guest
Is it wrong for me and my gf to have a sleepover if her parents are home and we sleep in seperate bags>?
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Anglewannabe
Guest
In order for it to be ok, you also need to be in different rooms
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DaShadow577
Guest
wed be in the fam room.
we aint kids either
we aint kids either
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Petaro
Guest
You know, as you aint kids either whether you would fall into an occasion of sin. Use your common sense and agree to defined limits of intimacy with your gf that will not endanger your relationship with God. Remember how we men are only human.
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Hoosier_Daddy
Guest
Yes, it is wrong.
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pensmama87
Guest
If she lives close enough to you that she can see you without overly burdensome travel, then she should probably not sleep over at all.
If she has to travel a long distance and is staying at your house while she visits, then the sleeping arrangements should be whatever they would be for a female guest in your home - she should have her own bed/cot/sleeping bag if that’s what’s available, in her own sleeping space.
I did exactly one co-ed sleepover growing up (not counting family reunions when all the cousins would cram together on mattresses in grandma’s living room), and that was after prom. All the boys in our group were in one room, all the girls in another. For a non-special occasion I think it should be avoided, but in that case the mom who let us all spend the night was doing us a big favor (avoiding us all needing to find our own transportation at 4:30 in the morning when we returned from the school-sponsored afterparty, and ensuring that our night continued alcohol-free.)
If she has to travel a long distance and is staying at your house while she visits, then the sleeping arrangements should be whatever they would be for a female guest in your home - she should have her own bed/cot/sleeping bag if that’s what’s available, in her own sleeping space.
I did exactly one co-ed sleepover growing up (not counting family reunions when all the cousins would cram together on mattresses in grandma’s living room), and that was after prom. All the boys in our group were in one room, all the girls in another. For a non-special occasion I think it should be avoided, but in that case the mom who let us all spend the night was doing us a big favor (avoiding us all needing to find our own transportation at 4:30 in the morning when we returned from the school-sponsored afterparty, and ensuring that our night continued alcohol-free.)
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JRKH
Guest
Obviously there are differing opinions here…So I am going to toss in mine.
No it is not wrong since there is no sin in “sleeping” anywhere…(At least not that I am aware of.)
The problem for us humans is what we might do while we are NOT sleeping…
That said, I do agree with others who think that you are placing yourself and your GF in a dangerous situation - a near occasion of sin - and for that reason it would be best to avoid it.
I can tell you from personal experience that the parents being home may not really be much barrier to falling into sin in this case.
Beyond that - I really cannot say much. I do not know you or your GF or her parents or the layout of the house or any of the other myriad details of the matter that might have bearing on whether this is an OK idea or not.
Peace
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Buck_Crosswhite
Guest
You should avoid the near occasion of sin.
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Vico
Guest
One always has to ask a few questions:
- Would it give the appearance of sin, even if not sinful in itself (scandal)? (It could mislead the weak.)
- Would it be a near occasion of sin for me?
- Would it be a near occasion of sin for anyone else?
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PaulGH
Guest
It may not be technically wrong, but I think that at least you would be putting yourselves in the near occasion of sin – in other words, putting yourselves into temptation. To me, it sounds like a bad idea. I would recommend that you make some other arrangement instead.
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Anglewannabe
Guest
Not only would that be wrong, I find it ridiculous she would not be in her room and you in the family room. Obviously, space is not the issue. My heart bleeds for this poor girl whose parents are too permissive
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maryjk
Guest
Seriously?
Since you seem to indicate that you are not children, but adults, then act like it. Sleep in separate rooms. If possible, you should simply go home.
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KatieM2
Guest
There is nothing inherently sinful in sleeping in the same room as someone of the opposite sex without being married to them. Absolutely nothing. And contrary to what others here have seen, neither do factors such as ‘the appearance of sin’ matter - God sees what is in our hearts.
The only question you need to consider is whether a sleepover could present the two of you with a temptation that you will not be strong enough to resist. If there’s any risk of that, it would be prudent to make other sleeping arrangements. If not, go ahead!
The only question you need to consider is whether a sleepover could present the two of you with a temptation that you will not be strong enough to resist. If there’s any risk of that, it would be prudent to make other sleeping arrangements. If not, go ahead!
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DaShadow577
Guest
some people on this site are too cruel, and no her parents are the most restrictive people on the planet, if i had a kid and he was 18 and wanted to do that, and i knew i raised him well, id allow that, yet, i would always be checking in on them
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PaulGH
Guest
Yes, God does see what is in our hearts. But our fellow humans don’t always see what is in our hearts. And our fellow humans also sometimes jump to erroneous conclusions. For example, suppose that the OP has a younger brother who also has a girlfriend. The younger brother sees that the OP and his girlfriend are spending the night together. Perhaps the younger brother assumes that there is some physical intimacy going on, based on the fact that they are sleeping in the same room. In this case, the OP and his girlfriend have set a bad example for the younger brother and the younger brother’s girlfriend – an example that could possibly be a contributing factor (even if only a small one) in leading the younger brother and his girlfriend to sin in the future. This is what Catholic moral teaching refers to as the sin of scandal.
Now, in reality, it doesn’t sound like there is too much danger of scandal in the situation as presented by the OP, which is why I didn’t mention it in my earlier post. But scandal is a possibility that can’t be completely ruled out, without knowing more details. And scandal really has nothing to do with whether or not God knows what is in our hearts.
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Hoosier_Daddy
Guest
You said “we aint kids” Then say “if I had a kid and he was 18”…
You are kids and you are just upset that you cannot do something sinful at a parent’s house. Basically disrespecting them.
I think your post has cleared up any doubt of the motives.
If you wish to be an adult, then you can do the adult thing and you can get a hotel room while she stays at the parents house. or vice versa.
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