Is this wrong?

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sarakelley

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I was wondering if sexting is wrong if you send it to your boyfriend? Its not like i sext with all kinds of guys and whoever. I would never do that with someone i wasnt in a relationship with by the way. But, if its just to one person your in a relationship with is that ok? Because i am in a long distance kind of relationship we have not physically met each other. But, its just that lately the sexting has been getting kinda heavy :eek:… Just wondering what your views are on this? Thanks:thumbsup:
 
Yes, it is wrong. It’s not only a near occasion of sin–it is sin. Stop doing it immediately.

Even if your bf were here you could not be engaging in sex without sinning. Why would you think that sexting is any different? How much respect can he have for you if he expects you to “put out” for him like that. You do know that your messages can be hacked or discovered, yes?

This is massively bad on many levels. If this guy expects this from you he’s not for you. He’s using you for his jollies. End it now before it leads to even worse things.
 
Della said:
Yes, it is wrong. It’s not only a near occasion of sin–it is sin. Stop doing it immediately.

Even if your bf were here you could not be engaging in sex without sinning. Why would you think that sexting is any different? How much respect can he have for you if he expects you to “put out” for him like that. You do know that your messages can be hacked or discovered, yes?

This is massively bad on many levels. If this guy expects this from you he’s not for you. He’s using you for his jollies. End it now before it leads to even worse things.
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Thanks for the answer. But, i never put my face in them, to protect myself. I cant just end it though… 😦
 
sarakelley said:
Thanks for the answer. But, i never put my face in them, to protect myself. I cant just end it though… 😦
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Your face isn’t necessary for your messages to be identified, my dear. This is the age of tech. Anyone who is tech savvy can determine who sent messages to whom.

Yes, you can stop it. Jesus told us that if our right hand causes us to sin we are to cut it off. He was using a metaphor, of course, but what he means is if something causes you to sin get rid of it. Your cellphone (or whatever you are using) is causing you to sin. Stop using it. I know using such devices is addictive. It will take a strong will and some creativity on your part to do it, but you can.

First of all, put your device where you can’t easily use it. Throw it away, freeze it in ice or whatever you need to do, but do it. When you feel the urge to use your device have a plan ready. Carry your rosary in your hands, instead of such a device. Do something else that you love doing–drawing, singing, writing (on paper)–go out with friends, pray/read your Bible alone in your room, but do something that will take your mind off sending messages/receiving them.

There’s real life going on all around you. Get involved in it. Help out at a homeless shelter, get involved at your parish, go out for some extra activity at school (if you are in school). Only you can control your actions. If you don’t start doing what you know is best for you now you will bitterly regret it later on.
 
sarakelley said:
I was wondering if sexting is wrong if you send it to your boyfriend?
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“Sexting” is wrong, period. It is a sin against the sixth and ninth commandments. It offends the virtues of chastity, modesty, and purity.
sarakelley said:
Its not like i sext with all kinds of guys and whoever. I would never do that with someone i wasnt in a relationship with by the way. But, if its just to one person your in a relationship with is that ok? Because i am in a long distance kind of relationship we have not physically met each other. But, its just that lately the sexting has been getting kinda heavy :eek:… Just wondering what your views are on this? Thanks:thumbsup:
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Discontinue talking to this person.
 
I wholeheartedly agree with the above posters and I would like to add a couple of things.

First, he can forward your pics and messages to anyone at any time. Second, you don’t really know this guy. So, it’s very foolish to trust him this way.

My husband’s friend just started a “sexting” relationship with a woman he knew from some time in another state. He has shared quite a few of her pictures with his friends. My DH and I pointed out that sharing those pics and messages without her knowing or consenting is wrong. The friend replied that anyone sharing such pics and messages does so knowing they can be forwarded to other people and thinks he is doing nothing wrong.

When I tried to call him out on it using other people we know I was in for a big shock. Most of them think the same way. They all said something along the lines of “Well she knows people can and do share pics and texts of a sexual nature, so what’s the big deal?”

I next went online and asked my friendslist what they think. They unanimously agreed that anyone sharing pics knows the risk and is ok with it.

Are you ok with this man using pictures and messages to masturbate? Are you ok with it if he suddenly decides to share the pics with his friends? If not, then stop doing this RIGHT NOW. If you need male attention try finding it with a decent sort of man who wouldn’t treat you like his personal interactive Hustler porn star centerfold!
 
MJJean said:
Are you ok with this man using pictures and messages to masturbate? Are you ok with it if he suddenly decides to share the pics with his friends? If not, then stop doing this RIGHT NOW. If you need male attention try finding it with a decent sort of man who wouldn’t treat you like his personal interactive Hustler porn star centerfold!
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Careful with all those assumptions and judgmental language. Perhaps she is the person who initiated the activity. Maybe she is sharing the pics of the man with her friends. Maybe she is using the pics for whatever. We don’t know (and it is none of our business either way).

The OP asked if sexting is wrong. Yes it is wrong. She should do her very best to stop. Let us support her desire to lead a virtuous life and offer what assistance we can.
 
You haven’t even met this person physically? Did I understand correctly? You actually don’t even know he exists, in other words.

In fact what you are doing is providing someone you don’t know with free pornography featuring yourself.

Plus what everyone else said.
 
sarakelley said:
I was wondering if sexting is wrong if you send it to your boyfriend? Its not like i sext with all kinds of guys and whoever. I would never do that with someone i wasnt in a relationship with by the way. But, if its just to one person your in a relationship with is that ok? Because i am in a long distance kind of relationship we have not physically met each other. But, its just that lately the sexting has been getting kinda heavy :eek:… Just wondering what your views are on this? Thanks:thumbsup:
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Yes. It is wrong. Doesn’t matter how many guys.

But also…you’ve never actually met this guy in person?! :eek: This makes the situation not just sinful, but possibly dangerous. It sounds like he is just using you. There’s a reason you are feeling uncomfortable about this.

Tell him you want to stop because you are uncomfortable, if he actually loves you, he will respect that. If he makes a stink or tries to guilt you into it, end the relationship. It’s not healthy. It’ll be hard, but you are worth it. You deserve a man who loves and respects you. Don’t ever think otherwise.
 
frizzgrig said:
Careful with all those assumptions and judgmental language. Perhaps she is the person who initiated the activity. Maybe she is sharing the pics of the man with her friends. Maybe she is using the pics for whatever. We don’t know (and it is none of our business either way).

The OP asked if sexting is wrong. Yes it is wrong. She should do her very best to stop. Let us support her desire to lead a virtuous life and offer what assistance we can.
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She doesn’t even know this man. How did she get involved sending him pictures of herself? She doesn’t say, but I’d bet anything she met this guy on some chat site and bought into his “I love. You send me pics of yourself” line. She’s being used, used big time. She has to stop it immediately. And if she’s a minor she has to tell her parents and the police. Next thing this guy will want to meet her and then she’ll really be in big trouble for he could be a rapist or worse.
 
Ok I just wanna add additional details… First of all I’m not a minor I’m 22.
Next, met this guy not on a dating or chat site. We met on
Social media site… He is a real person we have talked on phone and FaceTime.
I have also been in this relationship for 5 months and we are barely sexting.
I also, made him wait 4 months before I even gave him my number. We took things
Slow. We are planning to meet in a couple months. He is a great guy btw… He didn’t force me
To sext him… I did it when I was ready…
 
sarakelley said:
Ok I just wanna add additional details… First of all I’m not a minor I’m 22.
Next, met this guy not on a dating or chat site. We met on
Social media site… He is a real person we have talked on phone and FaceTime.
I have also been in this relationship for 5 months and we are barely sexting.
I also, made him wait 4 months before I even gave him my number. We took things
Slow. We are planning to meet in a couple months. He is a great guy btw… He didn’t force me
To sext him… I did it when I was ready…
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No matter who initiated it as a Catholic you must stop it. Talk to your confessor. A lot of people these days have the mistaken idea that there’s nothing wrong with this kind of thing. They are dead wrong. It cheapens relationships and exposes women as mere sex objects. Men don’t respect women who give them these kinds of pictures. Pictures do get passed around and no one thinks better of you for it. I cannot tell you what to do, but I can tell you that this will destroy your heart and soul, soil your mind and make you more open to even worse kinds of sin.
 
Your body is a gift of God and it is for your husband, not your boyfriend, Sarah. Please wait.

Our sexuality is something Holy, in a sense, it must not be profaned. Sexuality is for spouses.

God has ordained it so for our happiness.
 
Would you drop off all your clothing in front of your boyfriend as you do for the camera and then show them to him? It’s the same thing is it not?

What kind of message are you sending? Is it not that you can have all of me? Is it not leading down a very steep and slippery slope? If i was a 22 year old guy again and a girl was doing that to me, I would not understand why she would not also be willing to do a lot more than just what you are doing now. If I truly loved the girl, I would expect her to be waiting to show her body to me. When you really do honestly love someone, one cares about another’s soul and is willing to wait for the ultimate promise of marriage. It’s one thing to say I love you, it’s quite another to say, “Will you marry me, Sarah?”, and mean it." And then wait until you actually are man and wife in the eyes of God.

It’s your choice to make, but the fact that you’re asking seems to indicate that your conscience is pricking you a little bit. Maybe you should listen to it.

God Bless.
 
JamalChristophr said:
Would you drop off all your clothing in front of your boyfriend as you do for the camera and then show them to him? It’s the same thing is it not?

What kind of message are you sending? Is it not that you can have all of me? Is it not leading down a very steep and slippery slope? If i was a 22 year old guy again and a girl was doing that to me, I would not understand why she would not also be willing to do a lot more than just what you are doing now. If I truly loved the girl, I would expect her to be waiting to show her body to me. When you really do honestly love someone, one cares about another’s soul and is willing to wait for the ultimate promise of marriage. It’s one thing to say I love you, it’s quite another to say, “Will you marry me, Sarah?”, and mean it." And then wait until you actually are man and wife in the eyes of God.

It’s your choice to make, but the fact that you’re asking seems to indicate that your conscience is pricking you a little bit. Maybe you should listen to it.

Ok I see… What should I do now that I have done this?
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Well, I would simply tell him that it was wrong for you to send those pictures that you did and you crossed a line that you should not have crossed.

If your relationship with him is meant to be, He will understand and be ok with it. If it’s not meant to be, he won’t understand.

God is with you, Sarah, and wants the best for you. Try your best to trust Him. He’s got a plan for you, and I’m sure the right guy will come along at the right time.

Respect yourself first, then the guys that come along will be bound to respect you, too. You deserve it!
 
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