Is this wrong?

[on_the_hill]

I didn’t see ages mentioned.

How old are you?

Underage sexting is prosecutable in some (if not all) jurisdictions under child pornography laws.

If you or he or both of you are underage–do you really want to have to register under Megan’s Law?

 

[MJJean]

Careful with all those assumptions and judgmental language. Perhaps she is the person who initiated the activity. Maybe she is sharing the pics of the man with her friends. Maybe she is using the pics for whatever. We don’t know (and it is none of our business either way).

The OP asked if sexting is wrong. Yes it is wrong. She should do her very best to stop. Let us support her desire to lead a virtuous life and offer what assistance we can.

Do you know what “sexting” is? It’s sending sexually explicit photos and messages. Usually, the parties masturbate at the same time or use the material to masturbate later. It’s not uncommon at all for people to share the nude and semi-nude pics they receive via text message forwarding and/or upload them to social media with or without the consent of the other party. I hardly think it’s judgmental to point that out when addressing the question. Is it wrong? Yes. But it’s also dangerous to the OP and her reputation. The man she is sending these messages and pictures to could, at any time, decide to post them far and wide. It’s not unfair or judgmental to ask the OP if she is ok with that. .

The comment about being this mans personal interactive Hustler centerfold is also not judgmental. It’s true. Frankly, this is the exact same thing sex workers do. The only difference is a sex worker is paid for the service while the OP is doing it for free. She wants this mans attention and he wants to see semi- nude or totally nude pictures of her. I was merely pointing out she can get male attention without having to degrade herself.

 

[MJJean]

Ok I just wanna add additional details… First of all I’m not a minor I’m 22.
Next, met this guy not on a dating or chat site. We met on
Social media site… He is a real person we have talked on phone and FaceTime.
I have also been in this relationship for 5 months and we are barely sexting.
I also, made him wait 4 months before I even gave him my number. We took things
Slow. We are planning to meet in a couple months. He is a great guy btw… He didn’t force me
To sext him… I did it when I was ready…

Hon, the reality is that you don’t know this man. You know what he tells you and what he allows you to see. Don’t confuse that with actually knowing him. Online does not equal real life. The reality is that you know nothing about his life or his habits or what kind of person he really is. You also don’t know who else he is doing the same thing with that he also met via social media or in real life or if he’s been sharing your personal texts and pics. Again, you only know what he lets you know.

And if he was really a great guy he wouldn’t want you to degrade yourself by sending anyone, even him, sexts.

 

[IrishAm]

I just don’t understand what’s wrong with it?

Yes, you do. Or you wouldn’t have posted your inquiry.

 

[sarakelley]

Thanks for the answers everyone. BTW there is no underage people involved. I’m 22 and
He is 30. I think I’m just gonna tone down the kinda pics I send. No more
Explicit ones Also, I really want this relationship to work, I really like him.
I know you have to be more careful when meeting people online, that’s why we are taking our time to get to know each other.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I really like him.
I know you have to be more careful when meeting people online, that’s why we are taking our time to get to know each other.

I hate to say it but I think he is ‘taking his time’ because he does not want a commitment. And if you NEVER met him I am assuming you live far away from each other. I seriously doubt you are the only one.

Just curious but what do you like about him? The fact that you can have a relationship without all the real life struggles?

He didn’t force me
To sext him… I did it when I was ready…

The saddest part of that quote is you probably actually believe it. He knew what he was doing when he asked. He played the ‘nice guy I will wait until you are ready’ routine and you fell for it. All along dropping subtle hints and pressure knowing full well you would cave and he would get what he wanted. And why not be patient? After all, he had plenty of other pictures to use while you were ‘getting ready’.

I know what I said probably hurts and cuts like a knife. It is because I would rather be the one to hurt you know, then let this continue until you get into even more trouble

 

[Anglewannabe]

Thanks for the answer. But, i never put my face in them, to protect myself. I cant just end it though…

If this guy is so great, why would you need to protect yourself? I am sorry, but this is all quite shocking to me. I though sexting meant ‘talking dirty’ but doing it via text messages. I literally googled sexting. It never occurred to me it would include photos.

Sorry, but IMO I think it is sinful even within marriage. No loving person would do that to their spouse

Angie

 

[Boccherini]

I hate to say it but I think he is ‘taking his time’ because he does not want a commitment. And if you NEVER met him I am assuming you live far away from each other. I seriously doubt you are the only one.

Just curious but what do you like about him? The fact that you can have a relationship without all the real life struggles?

The saddest part of that quote is you probably actually believe it. He knew what he was doing when he asked. He played the ‘nice guy I will wait until you are ready’ routine and you fell for it. All along dropping subtle hints and pressure knowing full well you would cave and he would get what he wanted. And why not be patient? After all, he had plenty of other pictures to use while you were ‘getting ready’.

I know what I said probably hurts and cuts like a knife. It is because I would rather be the one to hurt you know, then let this continue until you get into even more trouble

Yes, be very careful. You do realize that some men purposely encourage women to send sexually explicit pictures of themselves and then these men share them with others for laughs? Another variant of this is that they hack into women’s computers/cell phones and steal such images. This is what happened to Jennifer Lawrence.

Keep in mind by sending these images you are giving this man a hold on you. Have you heard of revenge porn?

So not only is it sinful, you are very potentially being abused.

I’m not some old matron either, I’m a man under 30. And I can’t imagine why a decent man would expect or want to get explicit photographs from a young woman he’s supposedly in an honest relationship with. Especially since he hasn’t meet you in person.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Yes, be very careful. You do realize that some men purposely encourage women to send sexually explicit pictures of themselves and then these men share them with others for laughs? Another variant of this is that they hack into women’s computers/cell phones and steal such images. This is what happened to Jennifer Lawrence

Keep in mind by sending these images you are giving this man a hold on you. Have you heard of revenge porn?

So not only is it sinful, you are very potentially being abused. …

And Amanda Todd. OP please read this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Amanda_Todd

I’m not some old matron either, I’m a man under 30. And I can’t imagine why a decent man would expect or want to get explicit photographs from a young woman he’s supposedly in an honest relationship with. Especially since he hasn’t meet you in person.

Praise the Lord for men like you. And to all the men who have posted here encouraging the OP to stop, Thank You for respecting us women

Angie

 

[3DOCTORS]

I hate to say it but I think he is ‘taking his time’ because he does not want a commitment. And if you NEVER met him I am assuming you live far away from each other. I seriously doubt you are the only one.

Just curious but what do you like about him? The fact that you can have a relationship without all the real life struggles?

The saddest part of that quote is you probably actually believe it. He knew what he was doing when he asked. He played the ‘nice guy I will wait until you are ready’ routine and you fell for it. All along dropping subtle hints and pressure knowing full well you would cave and he would get what he wanted. And why not be patient? After all, he had plenty of other pictures to use while you were ‘getting ready’.

I know what I said probably hurts and cuts like a knife. It is because I would rather be the one to hurt you know, then let this continue until you get into even more trouble

Also in one post you called him “a great guy.” To me, a “great guy” would not be one who is into this sort of thing. It sounds as though you have learned most of what you know about dating and sexuality from popular culture and peers rather than trusted sources. Here is a fantastic resource that I wish would’ve been around when I was a young lady of your age. chastity.com/ Check out this basic article for a good foundation - chastity.com/article/chastity-and-dating-how-far-is-too-far

For me and my peers at your age, the temptations were on a continuum from making out up to intercourse. Maybe the equivalent of sexting back then would’ve been a talking-dirty phone conversation. But though the technology changes, the only real thing that changes is the addition of a few methods of communication or venues. Lust is still the same old struggle.

Finally, I would encourage you as others on this thread have to learn some street smarts and not be gullible to guys who feed you a little sweet talk and give you glib reassurances when all you have to go on is their word. Meeting people in person in the context of a group of people who know one another would be safer.

 

[Magdalen2013]

I just don’t understand what’s wrong with it?

IT IS A SIN. Worse, you’re helping your so-called “boyfriend” sin.

Sex is for marriage – it seems to me you don’t value your body at all, much less your soul, has no one ever told you not to put anything on social media that you wouldn’t want to see on the front page of a paper or TV news?

 

[sarakelley]

Thanks for all the answers… Someone said I must not value my body or soul and I do. I wouldn’t send pics like that too just anyone. He is my bf & I thought since we can’t physically be together due to long distance… What would be the harm in it?.. Anyways, I am catholic and the reason I asked this question is because it kinda made me feel guilty in the beginning… But, it’s ok… I’m just gonna tone down the pics a little…

 

[MJJean]

Thanks for all the answers… Someone said I must not value my body or soul and I do. I wouldn’t send pics like that too just anyone. He is my bf & I thought since we can’t physically be together due to long distance… What would be the harm in it?.. Anyways, I am catholic and the reason I asked this question is because it kinda made me feel guilty in the beginning… But, it’s ok… I’m just gonna tone down the pics a little…

Just remember that boyfriend does not equal husband. A boyfriend has no business looking at anything you wouldn’t be showing in church. Which is a good rule of thumb when dating and getting to know someone while discerning marriage. If you wouldn’t do it in church or in front of your pastor you probably shouldn’t do it.