Is this Wrong?

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JGheen

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I’ve recently started to think about the little things that can creep into our lives almost innocently . . . but when closely scrutinized seem wrong.

Do you ever purposely do these things?
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         Take home office supplies, use office time/supplies for personal things during the work day
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         Tell social lies
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         Speed in your car
Do you think they are wrong? If you don’t think they are wrong, what is your justification? If you do think they are wrong, do you still do them? Why?
 
JGheen said:
I’ve recently started to think about the little things that can creep into our lives almost innocently . . . but when closely scrutinized seem wrong.

Do you ever purposely do these things?
  • Code: 
         Take home office supplies, use office time/supplies for personal things during the work day
Always wrong. Forget if everybody else does it, or how badly your boss treats you, or how cheap the item is – it’s stealing.
I’m not being holier-than-thou, I used to take (little) stuff from my job like a lot of folks probably do, but then I stop to grocery shop & saw a guy get nailed for shoplifting. So it hit me – how was I any different?
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         Tell social lies
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The Commandment forbids bearing false witness, it doesn’t command us to tell the truth at all times, especially when it would be uncharitable to do so. You also don’t have to tell people the truth about things that are none of their business.
But if you get too far into “social lies” you turn into a manipulator so I’m not sure exactly where you draw the line – I guess you have to ask am I saying this to spare someone’s feelings or to gain favor?
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         Speed in your car
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Cars are deadly weapons. If you speed, drive recklessly, or drive under the influence and you injure or kill someone that isn’t an “accident” that’s a premeditated, intentional action on your part and you should go to Attica.
 
didymus said:
The Commandment forbids bearing false witness, it doesn’t command us to tell the truth at all times, especially when it would be uncharitable to do so. You also don’t have to tell people the truth about things that are none of their business.
But if you get too far into “social lies” you turn into a manipulator so I’m not sure exactly where you draw the line – I guess you have to ask am I saying this to spare someone’s feelings or to gain favor?
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Interesting take . . . so if you say “I’m sorry, I’m busy” when you are really entirely free, but don’t want to go to a party - is that okay? Or if you tell your boss you have a doctor’s appointment and really go to a job interview?
 
JGheen said:
Interesting take . . . so if you say “I’m sorry, I’m busy” when you are really entirely free, but don’t want to go to a party - is that okay? Or if you tell your boss you have a doctor’s appointment and really go to a job interview?
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In those two situations. I will say “Sorry, I already have plans” Those plans might be to stay at home and veg out with the family but they are still plans. :o

About telling the boss you are going to a Doctor appointment instead of really a job interview, if I don’t want to tell my boss where I’m going, I just say I have an “appointment” and leave it up to his imagination. He will probably assume I had a “lady doctor” appointment and not pursue it any further. 😉
 
didymus said:
Always wrong. Forget if everybody else does it, or how badly your boss treats you, or how cheap the item is – it’s stealing.
I’m not being holier-than-thou, I used to take (little) stuff from my job like a lot of folks probably do, but then I stop to grocery shop & saw a guy get nailed for shoplifting. So it hit me – how was I any different?
Click to expand...
The Commandment forbids bearing false witness, it doesn’t command us to tell the truth at all times, especially when it would be uncharitable to do so. You also don’t have to tell people the truth about things that are none of their business.
But if you get too far into “social lies” you turn into a manipulator so I’m not sure exactly where you draw the line – I guess you have to ask am I saying this to spare someone’s feelings or to gain favor?

Cars are deadly weapons. If you speed, drive recklessly, or drive under the influence and you injure or kill someone that isn’t an “accident” that’s a premeditated, intentional action on your part and you should go to Attica.

I totally agreed with you 👍
 
redtech said:
In those two situations. I will say “Sorry, I already have plans” Those plans might be to stay at home and veg out with the family but they are still plans. :o
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I’ve actually been trying to do this lately. I run into problems with a couple aggressively nosey and bossy friends though. If I say I have plans, they demand to know what the plans are – presumably so that they can evaluate if I am using my time properly. They somehow think their opinion overrides mine.

Just last week, I turned down a group email inviting one of my circle of friends for lunch by saying I “had plans”. The whole group got an email from one girl saying, “I DEMAND to know what J’s plans are”.

I’m in my late 20’s, so I should be able to handle these people by now but they are extremely unpleasant to deal with sometimes - and frankly I’m often at a loss. They try badger me into things - like going to certain parties, dating certain people (when I was single), going to the spa with them & spending money on certain vanity items - sometimes successfully. If I don’t do what they want, they spread horrible gossip about me.

I’ve often thought I need new friends, but most of these girls I’ve known literally my whole life. The good & bad ones all know each other and talk. Their parents are friends with my parents. I can distance myself from the troublesome girls somewhat, but I can never get them totally out of my social circle.
 
JGheen said:
I’ve actually been trying to do this lately. I run into problems with a couple aggressively nosey and bossy friends though. If I say I have plans, they demand to know what the plans are – presumably so that they can evaluate if I am using my time properly. They somehow think their opinion overrides mine.

Just last week, I turned down a group email inviting one of my circle of friends for lunch by saying I “had plans”. The whole group got an email from one girl saying, “I DEMAND to know what J’s plans are”.

I’m in my late 20’s, so I should be able to handle these people by now but they are extremely unpleasant to deal with sometimes - and frankly I’m often at a loss. They try badger me into things - like going to certain parties, dating certain people (when I was single), going to the spa with them & spending money on certain vanity items - sometimes successfully. If I don’t do what they want, they spread horrible gossip about me.

I’ve often thought I need new friends, but most of these girls I’ve known literally my whole life. The good & bad ones all know each other and talk. Their parents are friends with my parents. I can distance myself from the troublesome girls somewhat, but I can never get them totally out of my social circle.
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Wow. Life’s too short for “friends” who spread horrible gossip about you if you don’t act as they think you should. Just because your parents like the other parents doesn’t mean you have to be friends with the other kids- especially now that your parents have no say over your social life.

I’m not sure I would consider such people “friends”. Social acquaintances, at best. And you certainly don’t need to account for your time to them. Tell them you’re busy. If they “demand” an explanation, respond that you are an adult and you demand to be treated as such. If they don’t like it, too bad.

Sigh This is probably why I only have a couple of female friends. I don’t “get” girls. Why do so many of them insist on remaining in high-school social mode? Why are so many of them catty and weird?
 
I kinda run into this. There’s a few folks that I don’t have a problem with, but don’t feel the relationship is one I would persue socially.

So yeah, theres a bit of saying, we already have plans, when we could say yes. But, we are a pretty active family, so most of the time we are doing something.
 
JGheen said:
. . .
Just last week, I turned down a group email inviting one of my circle of friends for lunch by saying I “had plans”. The whole group got an email from one girl saying, “I DEMAND to know what J’s plans are”.

. . .
e.
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I am reminded of an old story from Maine. Two neighbors met at the post office. One asked the other, “And how are you this morning.” To which the other responded, " None of your ------ ------ business. And if you weren’t my friend, I wouldn’t tell you that much." 😃
 
JGheen said:
I’ve recently started to think about the little things that can creep into our lives almost innocently . . . but when closely scrutinized seem wrong.

Do you ever purposely do these things?
  • Code: 
         Take home office supplies, use office time/supplies for personal things during the work day
  • Code: 
         Tell social lies
  • Code: 
         Speed in your car
Do you think they are wrong? If you don’t think they are wrong, what is your justification? If you do think they are wrong, do you still do them? Why?
Click to expand...
Are they wrong? Yes.
Do I do them? Yes.

I don’t deliberately do them, mind you. I just do them without thinking. That doesn’t make them less sinful, in my opinion, but I do still do them. I know that God’s grace is sufficient to cover a multitude of sins, including these ones. I trust that He will forgive me for doing them. I pray that He will sanctify me so that I don’t do them anymore.
 
I’m in my late 20’s, so I should be able to handle these people by now but they are extremely unpleasant to deal with sometimes - and frankly I’m often at a loss.
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I’m in my mid-40’s and I still have trouble dealing with people. I seem to have been hardwired to say “yes” to everybody and always think I have to answer every question they throw at me. I’m learning through practice that is is alright to say “No” and it is OK to say “I’d rather not talk about that right now” - especially with people who demand information that is none of their business. AND, it is OK to choose friends who we can remain charitable with even after they are not with us (that is, those who don’t make us so crazy that we have to vent and rage after they leave).

As to the other things - driving too fast and taking things from work, I agree – way wrong! Do I occasionally drive too fast? Yes, but I am seriously working on staying at the speed limit, no matter how ridiculously slow it feels some days:)
 
gwenred said:
I’m in my mid-40’s and I still have trouble dealing with people. I seem to have been hardwired to say “yes” to everybody and always think I have to answer every question they throw at me. I’m learning through practice that is is alright to say “No” and it is OK to say “I’d rather not talk about that right now” - especially with people who demand information that is none of their business. AND, it is OK to choose friends who we can remain charitable with even after they are not with us (that is, those who don’t make us so crazy that we have to vent and rage after they leave).
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The flipside of that is people insist on “sharing” with you information about themselves you wish they had kept to themselves. A refusal to “talk about it” is anti-social. Of course, it is society that has let practically all barriers break down.
 
I also agree these little things r wrong…I c alot of it at work!! even not working while on the clock is dishonest and people do watch. It’s a joke at work if the boss wants me to tell someone he is not there when he is. I hand the phone over to someone else or i just ask to take message because he is unavailable. 😉 mamawm
 
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