Rory,
I understand

this whole situation has just been very painful for me. I donāt like not knowing what rite I am, and my priest is telling me that Iām Roman Catholic while people here are saying Iām Eastern. I donāt know if it would be appropriate to just ask the Bishopā¦
also whenever I miss an Eastern feast day or am not able to keep the fast (for example - Iām a student, and if I come home late and find that my mom made me dinner, I think it would be uncharitable to not eat because it has meat or oil) - I wonder if iāve failed to keep my obligation as an Eastern Catholic and donāt know if I should receive Communion. Yet when I say this at Confession, my priest tells me I have nothing to worry about cause Iām Latin. I think he has a good explanation for me being Latin. But then I wonder, cause I emailed a Russian Catholic priest and he told me Iām Russian. I hope I wonāt have to live my whole life in this confusion/anxiety, lol.
Then thereās the whole part in the Canon about me being allowed to follow Latin feast/penance days IF I live outside of the territory boundary of the sui iuris church⦠but I donāt know if I do or not. I want to speak to someone about this but priests, bishops, etc, are really busy people so Iād need to wait. I also donāt know who to talk to about this whole situation, and who to ask if I can transfer rites or notā¦just what my options are.
I think I want to be Roman Catholic. Not just because I donāt live near an Eastern parish and am not able to participate fully in my rite⦠but also because my initial decision was to become a Roman Catholic. When I converted, I didnāt know all this about sui iuris churches. I thought Iād be Roman Catholic, because of my parish, and thatās where I wanted to be. I know I was baptized and confirmed Orthodox, but I donāt have much background in it. All Iām really familiar with is icons, and I do have several in my room⦠But Iām more at home with the āWesternā devotions, prayers, the Mass, Adoration, Rosary, etc. I think maybe thatās because I initially discovered the Church through the Latin rite. For some Orthodox who become Catholic, their only intention is to be in communion with the Pope, and they really want to keep their customs. So the Eastern rites fit them perfectly, they donāt even have to use the filioque if they donāt want to. I never had customs or practiced any traditions⦠I wanted to become Catholic not just because of the Pope - thought that was a big part of it - but because of all the rest of it, and it was all āRomanā.
So I donāt know⦠if I could go to an Eastern Catholic parish, I think Iād be interested in that. Iād also like to keep learning about the Eastern rites - whether or not Iāll stay in mine. My friend gave me a book with Russian Orthodox prayers and Iām planning to use it sometimes. But I also feel that Eastern Christianity is really unfamiliar to me, and something I have very little background in. I think all I want now is to just figure this out, so I can KNOW what Iām supposed to do, and move on with my life⦠In terms of growing in my faith and learning⦠Iād love to just focus on my relationship with God and prayer and Sacraments, and this is something Iāve been waiting for ever since I started my ājourneyā of conversion. At every stage, there was something - whether obtaining my (nonexistentā¦) baptism certificates, opposition, spiritual attacks, or worrying if Iāll go to hell for leaving the Orthodox church (like some people told me I would), and now rites⦠but what I really wanted was to just be able to receive the Eucharist.
Lol sorry for this rant. Iām glad Iām Catholic now. I hope Iāll be able to find out what type of Catholic I am, and then make my decision about rites⦠I want to be participate fully in the life of my parish and this makes being Eastern Catholic difficult, because Iāll never have the same feast days, fasts, etc. Iāll see. But Iām glad God lead me to the Church, even though the journey has been frustrating sometimes, it was worth itā¦and I wonāt leave the Church because I believe being Catholic is Godās will for me.
God bless