Is "When I Forgive, I Forget" Good Theology?

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ThuribleGuy45

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I have encountered the phrase “When I forgive, I forget” many places in what I would have considered good, orthodox Catholic settings - Confession booklets from the 1960’s, holy cards from retreats even before that. But while a consoling thought, I have always wondered if this is inconsistent with what the Church teaches about the General Judgment - that everyone’s sins will be made known as part of unfolding both the mercy and justice of God.

A related issue is the immutability of God - to say that He “forgets” something seems to imply that He goes from a state of awareness of something to a state of non-awarenes of something – a change.

How are we to understand this expression - or is it just plain wrong?
 
I would look at it in a human light (as opposed to a supernatural one meaning God could forget).

To me, it just implies that once you forgive someone, that sin or offense is gone - blotted out. That is, it’s blotted out of your mind, the one doing the forgiving.

God will still judge. —KCT
 
I can’t forget; the human mind doesn’t work like that. But I can choose not to remember.

DaveBj
 
ThuribleGuy45 said:
I have encountered the phrase “When I forgive, I forget” many places in what I would have considered good, orthodox Catholic settings - Confession booklets from the 1960’s, holy cards from retreats even before that. But while a consoling thought, I have always wondered if this is inconsistent with what the Church teaches about the General Judgment - that everyone’s sins will be made known as part of unfolding both the mercy and justice of God.

A related issue is the immutability of God - to say that He “forgets” something seems to imply that He goes from a state of awareness of something to a state of non-awarenes of something – a change.

How are we to understand this expression - or is it just plain wrong?
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I’d like to know a little more about the context.

It is really hard to not ever recall being hurt.

Maybe it means that we are not to dwell on the forgiven offense if it pops up in our minds.

Maybe it means we are not to speak of it again to the forgiven person.

Forgiveness is a tough one to understand. It is a decision we make, not necessarily a warm fuzzy.

Some of the interviews of injured VT students and slain students’ parents are inspiring.

And who can forget Reginald Denny’s forgiving the guys who beat him within an inch of his life during the LA riots?
 
ThuribleGuy45 said:
I have encountered the phrase “When I forgive, I forget” many places in what I would have considered good, orthodox Catholic settings - Confession booklets from the 1960’s, holy cards from retreats even before that. But while a consoling thought, I have always wondered if this is inconsistent with what the Church teaches about the General Judgment - that everyone’s sins will be made known as part of unfolding both the mercy and justice of God.

A related issue is the immutability of God - to say that He “forgets” something seems to imply that He goes from a state of awareness of something to a state of non-awarenes of something – a change.

How are we to understand this expression - or is it just plain wrong?
Click to expand...
I see it this way. If someone abuses my child–I would try my best to forgive --which would be darn quite difficult. But I would not forget–and let that person anywhere close to my child or other children.
 
I agree that to say that God actually forgets - goes from knowing about a sin to not knowing - is incorrect. That would go against His immutability and His omniscience.

What I think it means is that God *treats us *as if the sin never occurred. When we repent and God forgives, God restores our dignity to the level it was prior to the sin. This is what is signified by the father in the parable of the prodigal son putting a ring on the son’s finger when he returns - he assumes his rightful place in the family again.

Betsy
 
I can forgive, but can’t forget (like someone else said, my mind doesn’t work that way). Or sometimes you shouldn’t forget, because you need to take precautions. If it is a small offense, you can tell someone, “the issue has been forgotton” even though it really hasn’t been actually forgotten. What you are telling them is that you will never bring up the offense again.

If someone has forgiven you, but then they bring up the past, they truely have not forgiven you. Ask them, “if they have really forgiven me, then could we never bring up this issue again?” Otherwise you still need to work out the issue.
 
Individuals who have wronged another should expect, in addition to any apology, to present evidence- even if it is over time- that said individuals have repented- changed- gone in the other direction.

“I’m sorry” should never be met with, “That’s all rights” because it isn’t all right. Better, “I forgive you, but you have caused me not to trust you. It will be hard for me to do that, until you prove to me otherwise. I am willing to give it a go. How about you?”
 
If God forgot after a confession we would not have Purgatory.
 
Does no one understand poetic language? Start there and you won’t be far off the issue.

And let’s leave being a literalist to some of our Protestant brethern.
 
You can choose to forgive, you can’t choose to forget.

You have the faculty to make your will and forgive. Because forgiveness is an act of will. But your memory is not ruled by your will, therefore even if you make the act of will to forget, it does not take effect. To pretend otherwise would be to try to make better theology at the expense of truth - which would of itself be bad theology.

Therefore, while the theological message may be accurate, the statement cannot hold logically.

As for poetic language, which it probably was, it would imply the desire to forget - which may be and probably is a “correct” desire in this case, although I’d rather not speak in absolutes at the moment (I haven’t thought too much about this). That would imply the kind of forgiveness to desire for the offence to stop counting - as if it had never happened.
 
hilde_the_dog said:
I might be good poetic language but bad theology.
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I disagree that it is bad theology, as it is based on poetic language to express how thoroughly we are forgiven. It is not meant to make a theological statement a la Thomas Aquinas; it is meant as a profound reflection on God’s love and mercy. As the OP said, they found it on Confessional booklets and holy cards; not exactly what one would compare to the Summa Theologica. It was meant for people of not complex faith, but the simple faith in God’s goodness and mercy.

It is a bit akin to the statement of the simple farmer, when asked what he did while he sat in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament: “I look at Him and He looks at me”.
 
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