Is willfully putting yourself in a near occasion of sin a mortal sin, venial sin, or even a sin at all?

[JRKH]

I agree, absolutely.
You have an unusual circumstance, but I see no sin in the intimate affection you still have for your dear wife. You were married under God. The marriage is still valid in His eyes.
How can you comprehend what her appreciation of close affection might be ?
Unless of course she were to make known her objections, which is another case entirely.

Talk to a priest, I think your worry borders on scrupulosity…

I thank you for taking care of her yourself , vs putting her in a nursing home-I know too many cases like that.
+Peace of Christ to you both.
Bob

Thank you for your kind note and concern. As I said in my response above it is not the intimate affection that I must resist and I know that she is a very loving and giving person.
However, the fact remains that for us, we have a combination of factors here with the upshot being that intercourse is not a viable option for both physical and mental reasons. that leaves “solo-sex”, to put it delicately, which is sinful under any condition and while cupability might be lessened by circumstance and intent, it remains sinful.
As for being too scrupulous here, I don’t think so. I know things about my wifes past life (abusive first marriage) and how she feels about me and how importatnt it is that she feel safe and protected. These are things that are not easily explained but that God knows about.
I have prayed on this issue a lot, read the catechism, prayed some more and tried to consider all of the factors and, while I don’t see this sin as fully “Mortal”, I cannot, in good conscience, just blow it off as no big deal either for such actions do not Glorify God.
Holding and making sure my wife feels loved and safe and content do Glorify God and thus are good, but giving in to masturbation does not Glorify Him. For me that is the bottom line.

Peace
James

 

[otjm]

If it were a situation where we could have intercourse that wuold be one thing, but she has no been comfortable with penetration for some time. Thus, intercourse is not an option.
This leaves “solo-sex” which is sinful regardless, and so I must resist this.
I appreciate your concern and thanks for the advise.

Peace
James

OK, that might qulify for TMI, but I understand. Your previous post was a bit cryptic.

 

[JohnMPhilomena]

I will have to say that yes it is a sin.
Remember when Jesus said that any man who “Looks” at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery? He then went on to say that those who grow angry will be liable to judgement.
The point being that it isn’t just our acts that are sinful but the thought and intention behind and before the act that is sinful.
We are to Love God with all of our being. We are to Love our neighbor as ourselves, which means we are to Love ourselves as God Loves us. Placing ourselves in jeapordy is not Loving ourselves properly therefore we violate the Law of Love.
So If you are willfully putting yourself in the “near occasion” of sin when such could be avoided, then you are sinning.

Our every Thought and every Action should be for the Glory of God and the Advancement of the Kingdom. Placing ones self in near occasion is not doing that. Therefore it is contrary to The Law of Love and contrary to God.

Peace
James

I agree with most of what you said. But in the beginning you are saying the near occasion of sin is lusting after a woman. That’s not near occasion - that’s just a sin.

A near occasion of sin could be going to the beach where you know there will be women in bikinis. This offers a temptation to lust, but is not sinful as long as you don’t lust.

John Marie Philomena

 

[JRKH]

I agree with most of what you said. But in the beginning you are saying the near occasion of sin is lusting after a woman. That’s not near occasion - that’s just a sin.

A near occasion of sin could be going to the beach where you know there will be women in bikinis. This offers a temptation to lust, but is not sinful as long as you don’t lust.

John Marie Philomena

You are right of course, but if you read on in my post, you see that I explain that it is our intents that are the determining factor.

Peace
James