Is your vocation really your choice?

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My aunt asked a friar once how he ended up as a brother, to which he responded, “I just couldn’t say ‘no’ to God.”

I feel 99% convinced God has called me to religious life and, considering God is the end all and be all for me, and I can’t imagine refusing Him, I HAVE to say yes.

With the level of conviction I have about my calling, I can no longer see myself satisfied in any other vocation, even if I did my best to ignore God’s call. That being said, I spent the first 25 years of my life wanting desperately to be a mother, so it was very challenging (to say the least) to shift gears when God came a callin’ and I’m still haunted by past desires, thus the temptation at times to ignore God’s call .

Get where I’m going with this?

It frustrates me when people say just choose one road or the other. They are both equal in God’s eyes. Hmmm. Must mean they haven’t felt convicted about a vocation that went against what God had chosen for them.

So, in a sense, I have no choice in my vocation.

I would love (name removed by moderator)ut from consecrated religious about how they felt in “choosing” their vocation and from others who are seriously discerning religious life/priesthood. Heck, I wouldn’t mind hearing from people who felt called to religious life/priesthood but chose not to pursue it.

Thanks everybody!

In Christ,
Teri
 
I’m not sure what my vocation is yet.

We are always free to accept or decline God’s offer we have free will and we can always say no.

St Ignatius taught that there are many good things we can do for God and they will all have good out comes, but there is one thing that God is calling you to the most. This will give you the greatest happiness and it will be the best out come for the Church. I believe following the one best thing that God calls us to will give significantly more happiness and do significantly more good for the Church than the second one.

I believe we are made in the shape of our vocation, it’s not just something God threw on us, it is deeply embedded in our soul.

I always think of a vocation as a huge present from God. God who loves each one of us so tenderly has given each of us an extraordinary gift, in that sense it would be hard to say no because the offer is so good. But we can always do that if we want.
 
To answer your question, your God-given vocation is not your choice. God predestines us for one true vocation, whether that be to marriage, religious life, priesthood, consecrated life, etc. He leads us, through the power of His Holy Spirit, to know that vocation–starting out gently by giving us a nudge in the direction He wants us to go.

However, we do have a choice in whether or not to go in search of our true vocation. If we do, we begin discernment to whatever vocation we are feeling called to.

Let me give you an example:

A young woman becomes aware that she may have a calling to the religious life. After discerning this option of following it, she becomes frightened and confused and worries about what the religious life will be like for her. She decides to put it in the back of her mind and doesn’t think about it anymore. A few years go by and she decides to get married, but the religious life idea comes back to her. She still ignores it and decides to proceed with the marriage. Although she still continues to think about religious life and wonders if she had a real vocation, she lives a happy life as a wife and mother.

God gives us all free will. He knows what will make us truly happy in this life. If He is pressing you to check out the religious life, it would be a good idea to at least look into it. But if you decide that you cannot, for whatever reason, God is not going to punish you for using the free will that He gave you.

If, however, you do look into religious life, or feel that you should, place your trust in Him. He’ll never lead you to the wrong vocation.

Also, if you don’t already have one, get a spiritual director to help you discern which feelings are from God, and which are your own. 🙂

Hope this helps! God bless.
 
I do not think we have a choice in what God calls us to do. But it is our choice to follow it or not. Like the rich young man in the bible, I think sometimes people do say no to God’s call.

There something though that I think I should say, that help you to understand what people have told you about choosing their vocation. I know that today, because entering religious life or the priesthood is something very unusual, people really have to struggle with the decision. There is much more of an emphasis on “discerning” your vocation today than there was earlier. Especially for women, there were fewer options. It was rather common for young Catholic men and women to enter priesthood and religious life. Many of the older Sisters I have spoken with, couldn’t really tell me their vocation story when I asked. Some of them don’t think they have a vocation story. Now, I am not saying that they don’t have a vocation, but I think that because many of them didn’t have to struggle with the idea, they may not even remember what first drew them to it. Or they may remember there first reason for entering, which may have been rather superficial, but that is not what made them stay.
 
Hey Teri,

Thanks for your great openness to God’s will and zeal in following it! I totally get your desire to have children. I dreamt of a huge family before discovering my vocation. Now I still love kids and enjoyed playing with my little cousins the other day, but I know that my heart would just be too confined in a traditional family. I want LOTS of kids, more than a woman should be giving birth to. And what I really want is to form God’s kids together with that great formatrix, Mary. I wonder if this desire to have children is a sign that your vocation includes spiritual motherhood.

As you know in your heart and as the Council of Trent dogmatically teaches (Declaration on Marriage, canon 10): The consecrated state is superior to the married state. That’s so obvious: everybody is called to holiness. To get there, there are two major lifestyles: marriage and consecration. Of the two, consecration offers better means for getting to holiness: prayer time, apostolate, community life, intellectual formation… Laypeople simply don’t have as much time for these activities because they have to work and take care of their families.

You are right that your vocation is a gift from God which you did not choose. You are also right that you can choose whether or not to accept this gift because God is not a bully.

Have a great day and may God bless you on your journey!
 
Michael1985 said:
I’m not sure what my vocation is yet.

We are always free to accept or decline God’s offer we have free will and we can always say no.

St Ignatius taught that there are many good things we can do for God and they will all have good out comes, but there is one thing that God is calling you to the most. This will give you the greatest happiness and it will be the best out come for the Church. I believe following the one best thing that God calls us to will give significantly more happiness and do significantly more good for the Church than the second one.

I believe we are made in the shape of our vocation, it’s not just something God threw on us, it is deeply embedded in our soul.

I always think of a vocation as a huge present from God. God who loves each one of us so tenderly has given each of us an extraordinary gift, in that sense it would be hard to say no because the offer is so good. But we can always do that if we want.
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Thanks, Michael. I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut. Are you seriously discerning right now?
 
CarmeliteGirl25 said:
A young woman becomes aware that she may have a calling to the religious life. After discerning this option of following it, she becomes frightened and confused and worries about what the religious life will be like for her. She decides to put it in the back of her mind and doesn’t think about it anymore. A few years go by and she decides to get married, but the religious life idea comes back to her. She still ignores it and decides to proceed with the marriage. Although she still continues to think about religious life and wonders if she had a real vocation, she lives a happy life as a wife and mother.
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Thank you, Carmelite Girl. I understand what you are saying. To the example above, however, I have to ask, does she live a happy life? I would think the danger of choosing against God’s will includes falling back on the previous desire for religious life when the difficulties of married life seem too burdensome. You know what I mean?

I know God loves us, I know God honors our decisions, I know God never deserts us. What I’m trying to dissect (for lack of a better word) are the practical aspects of the vocational discernment and the consequences of choosing against God’s will.

In my own discernment, what spoke to me very powerfully were the stories of converts who were mortified to discover the Catholic Church was the true Church. Of course, with the mortification came the excitement as well. At the risk of great loss and suffering (and great reward), they converted to Catholicism out of conviction and obedience. I can’t imagine they would ever have had peace had they not converted once convinced.

Did they have a choice? Technically, yes. Spiritually? Not so much.

Please forgive me for rambling. I’m a melancholic by temperament, and think way too much.

Peace in your vocation,
Teri
 
skallal said:
Hey Teri,

Thanks for your great openness to God’s will and zeal in following it! I totally get your desire to have children. I dreamt of a huge family before discovering my vocation. Now I still love kids and enjoyed playing with my little cousins the other day, but I know that my heart would just be too confined in a traditional family. I want LOTS of kids, more than a woman should be giving birth to. And what I really want is to form God’s kids together with that great formatrix, Mary. I wonder if this desire to have children is a sign that your vocation includes spiritual motherhood.

As you know in your heart and as the Council of Trent dogmatically teaches (Declaration on Marriage, canon 10): The consecrated state is superior to the married state. That’s so obvious: everybody is called to holiness. To get there, there are two major lifestyles: marriage and consecration. Of the two, consecration offers better means for getting to holiness: prayer time, apostolate, community life, intellectual formation… Laypeople simply don’t have as much time for these activities because they have to work and take care of their families.

You are right that your vocation is a gift from God which you did not choose. You are also right that you can choose whether or not to accept this gift because God is not a bully.

Have a great day and may God bless you on your journey!
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Thank you, Brother Scott. It’s good to meet an Apostle of the Interior Life. We have a few Sisters in College Station, not far from Austin.

I’m wondering…recognizing that God is not a bully, will he remove regret over having not chosen your true calling? Will the feelings you once had wane after a time of living another state in life? Would that be an example of his mercy? I’m truly curious.

Thank you again for your response.

In Christ,
Teri
 
Sister_Rose said:
I do not think we have a choice in what God calls us to do. But it is our choice to follow it or not. Like the rich young man in the bible, I think sometimes people do say no to God’s call.

There something though that I think I should say, that help you to understand what people have told you about choosing their vocation. I know that today, because entering religious life or the priesthood is something very unusual, people really have to struggle with the decision. There is much more of an emphasis on “discerning” your vocation today than there was earlier. Especially for women, there were fewer options. It was rather common for young Catholic men and women to enter priesthood and religious life. Many of the older Sisters I have spoken with, couldn’t really tell me their vocation story when I asked. Some of them don’t think they have a vocation story. Now, I am not saying that they don’t have a vocation, but I think that because many of them didn’t have to struggle with the idea, they may not even remember what first drew them to it. Or they may remember there first reason for entering, which may have been rather superficial, but that is not what made them stay.
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Thank you, Sr. Rose. It is interesting, isn’t it? I can’t imagine any other road than the one I’ve traveled in my discernment, which has been very difficult. I know that someday I will look back and smile at the distant memory of the struggle I endured (mostly self-induced;))

Peace in Christ,
Teri
 
Jesus said ‘You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you’ The door is open, all we have to do is decide whether we walk through that door or not.
 
Hello Terri

I dont think is my choice. It is God who call and by His grace I am able to response that call. Yes there are many conflicting ideas as well. But along the way God will supply what we needed in order to make a decision.

For me, I spent alot of time discerning and praying. I spent hours in the Blessed Sacrament. In that way I am sure I am following God’s will.

May the Holy Spirit direct you and lead you!amen
 
Tezza said:
I’m wondering…recognizing that God is not a bully, will he remove regret over having not chosen your true calling? Will the feelings you once had wane after a time of living another state in life? Would that be an example of his mercy? I’m truly curious.
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I have been discerning for a while (at this point I’m almost positive I am called to the priesthood) and at this point it is mostly a question of whether I wish to enter the seminary for the diocese or pursue a religious order.

I know exactly what you mean. Often when I think about diocesan priesthood or married life, I worry that my “true calling” is to a particular order and that becoming a diocese priest would not be following this “true calling”. In my opinion, these calls to different lives that seem to be fighting with each other, are really God’s way of helping you to think about the important aspects of each life. For example, if I had never considered the diocesan priesthood, I would have never spoken to the diocese vocations director and learned so much about the various religious orders.

Discernment is a long, conflicting, extremely difficult process. I believe that each step is very important, and one needs to reflect on both married life and religious life extensively to fully understand your calling. Make it your number 1 priority to try to do God’s will in your life, and I guarantee he will lead you exactly where you are supposed to go. Whether a Sister or a mother, I am sure you will lead a wonderful Christian life that God will be proud of. Don’t stress, just trust!

Praying for you and your vocations,
Frank
 
Sister_Rose said:
I do not think we have a choice in what God calls us to do. But it is our choice to follow it or not. Like the rich young man in the bible, I think sometimes people do say no to God’s call.

thanks sister
i know now, the reason i refuse to say yes to the one who ask for civil wed. i see that i love my vocation so much .:love: hope to see my congregation, i entered one congregation one year and five months :nun2:
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