Isit wrong to say a child is cute in a "non-sexual" way?

[Joe_5859]

I think that, nowadays, many people have a heightened sense of vigilence in protecting their children, which is understandable. Thus, they may respond disproportionately to innocent comments.

I’ve never been offended when someone tells me my kids are cute. I know they’re cute and I never get tired of hearing it from others.

I don’t think I have ever told a stranger that their kid is cute, though. Since I’m a guy, I don’t feel like I could do that without coming off as creepy.

 

[nickybr38]

Every time I have not listened to my dogs I have regretted it down the road. One guy they did not like was later arrested for being a child molester. A boss my dogs hated ended up skipping town and still owes me over $1500. I don’t think I am going to stop trusting them any time soon.

So be it. Personally I have had dogs who reacted to certain things or people because they were abused in the past but then my dogs have all been rescue dogs.

 

[Catholic90]

The word ‘cute’ should only ever refer to baby ducks. That is the only acceptable useage.

‘Adorable’ can only refer to Deity.

Maybe ‘nice’ is still okay.

Cute can be used for many situations.

Cute kittens, puppies, babies, toddlers, preschoolers, girls, boys, couples, parents, and grandparents.

Adorable can also be used - an adorable person, adorable grandma, etc.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Yes, when you go to a country you must be aware of the customs of the aborigines. In Thailand, you should not put your hand on the top of the head of a child for it robs the energy she has. Now, in the USA, the aborigines use “cute” in ways that may be misleading, depending on the interpretation. So, better avoid it…

 

[Catholic90]

Yes, when you go to a country you must be aware of the customs of the aborigines. In Thailand, you should not put your hand on the top of the head of a child for it robs the energy she has. Now, in the USA, the aborigines use “cute” in ways that may be misleading, depending on the interpretation. So, better avoid it…

Well, I generally do not touch children unless they are my own or I know them and their families extremely well. I also do not know any USA aborigines, so I will continue to tell the preschoolers and kindergartners at my school they are cute!

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Yes, when you go to a country you must be aware of the customs of the aborigines. In Thailand, you should not put your hand on the top of the head of a child for it robs the energy she has. Now, in the USA, the aborigines use “cute” in ways that may be misleading, depending on the interpretation. So, better avoid it…

Cute is an appropriate word to describe children in the US.

Unfortunately, parents of small children (myself included) are worried about things that people did not worry about in my parents age.

Practically every day there is a news story of a child being abuducted and killed, and amber alert (an allert to be allert for a missing child who is missing), a high level molestation case, a teacher having an affair with a student etc.

So we worry about any attention that our children might get that could seem odd. So even something innocuous like “Oh, cute kid” might seem threatening.

When my youngest was still small enough to be in a baby carriage, I was grocery shopping. An elderly man peered into the carriage, and asked “What aisle did you find this one in, are there any more?” I knew he was just being paying a complement.

 

[Jesusismyfriend]

Of course I know better than touching a random kid. I used to feel uncomfortable if a co-worker punched me in the shoulder as a joke. I certainly can’t see myself put my arm around a child I don’t know, or hug them. The only exception was when I had to put a band-aid on a child’s knee at work because the lifeguard wasn’t available. I was worried I might get in trouble for that, but fortunately the parents were okay with it. Thanks for everyone’s answers though.

 

[nickybr38]

Cute is an appropriate word to describe children in the US.

Unfortunately, parents of small children (myself included) are worried about things that people did not worry about in my parents age.

Practically every day there is a news story of a child being abuducted and killed, and amber alert (an allert to be allert for a missing child who is missing), a high level molestation case, a teacher having an affair with a student etc.

So we worry about any attention that our children might get that could seem odd. So even something innocuous like “Oh, cute kid” might seem threatening.

When my youngest was still small enough to be in a baby carriage, I was grocery shopping. An elderly man peered into the carriage, and asked “What aisle did you find this one in, are there any more?” I knew he was just being paying a complement.

Haha. That old man sounds terribly cute.

As to the touching - I have to admit that I have been known to ruffle an unfamiliar little head and/or touch an unfamiliar little foot. I can’t help it! They’re so small and adorable… but I’m very, very careful to keep it neutral (head ruffling/toe touching).

Another concern for parents are germs and diseases so I can understand why they’d be uncomfortable with a stranger touching their child even in the most neutral way.

Adult to Adult relations are different then Adult to Child. Children should be nurtured and welcomed by all the community but because of our corrupted world that’s not possible anymore and it’s really, really unfortunate.

That said, I would still comfort a child if it was clear they were alone and distressed. Screw social protocol, I would never leave a crying child just sitting alone unless it was clear their parent was A) within sight or B) enacting some kind of odd punishment.

 

[He_Man]

Depends.

Someone tells me my 16 month old is cute, I smile and thank them as a proud father.

Someone tells my mother that her son is cute, my wife gets annoyed and suspicious.

 

[Catholic90]

Depends.

Someone tells me my 16 month old is cute, I smile and thank them as a proud father.

Someone tells my mother that her son is cute, my wife gets annoyed and suspicious.

 

[nickybr38]

Last night there was a young man in line at my workplace with his mother. I smiled at him and then told his mother: He is terribly cute!

She smiled and looked at her son. She asked him: Are you cute?

He played shy and hid his face against her side. He was around 6 or 7.

We laughed and continued on with life. She didn’t seem uncomfortable at all and her son was clearly boosted by the attention.

I don’t know! I really think this sort of thing depends on the parent.

 

[Snugglebugmom]

I have no problem with people telling me that my children are cute, whether they be male or female. It happens often (I have two girls and a baby boy) and it is always flattering.

Touching my kids though, that’s an entirely different matter. This is something I feel very, very strongly about. Last week I was at a coffee place with my kids and my sister-in-law, and an elderly woman, probably about 70, came over, stuck her head in between my 3 month old baby and myself (I was about to nurse him), and put her hand on his head. Then she kissed her fingers and was about to put her hand on his head again. I very quickly covered his head with my hand and said:“Please don’t touch my child. He gets sick very easily, he’s still little.” and turned my body to shield him from her.
This was a mild reaction on my part, since what I really wanted to do was slap her hand away from my baby, and say:“Stop it! I don’t know where your hands have been!”
I am always flabbergasted at this type of behavior. Barring any medical emergencies it is NEVER okay to touch another person’s child without asking them first.

 

[nickybr38]

I have no problem with people telling me that my children are cute, whether they be male or female. It happens often (I have two girls and a baby boy) and it is always flattering.

Touching my kids though, that’s an entirely different matter. This is something I feel very, very strongly about. Last week I was at a coffee place with my kids and my sister-in-law, and an elderly woman, probably about 70, came over, stuck her head in between my 3 month old baby and myself (I was about to nurse him), and put her hand on his head. Then she kissed her fingers and was about to put her hand on his head again. I very quickly covered his head with my hand and said:“Please don’t touch my child. He gets sick very easily, he’s still little.” and turned my body to shield him from her.
This was a mild reaction on my part, since what I really wanted to do was slap her hand away from my baby, and say:“Stop it! I don’t know where your hands have been!”
I am always flabbergasted at this type of behavior. Barring any medical emergencies it is NEVER okay to touch another person’s child without asking them first.

I can totally understand that. Which is why if I do ever touch a baby it’s just little toes (and only if they’re covered in socks). Haha. And I only ever touch an older child’s head if I’m moving around them and I’m making sure we don’t bump into each other.

People do need to consider that babies CAN get sick easily and we need to keep our germs to ourselves.

Some things are pretty harmless though. Like if someone takes the hand of an older toddler who’s swaying or reaching out or something like that. Still… the situation you describe is pretty bizarre. Haha. Haven’t we learned anything from bears? Do not get between a mother and her baby!!!

 

[Snugglebugmom]

Haven’t we learned anything from bears? Do not get between a mother and her baby!!!

So true! That’s me all over!

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

The word ‘cute’ should only ever refer to baby ducks. That is the only acceptable useage.

‘Adorable’ can only refer to Deity.

Maybe ‘nice’ is still okay.

There are many ducks in my town. I will use for their offspring. I guess that you could use for any baby dogs, cats and wild animals like gazelles or elephants or dolphins, no?!?!?
I love the word “nice”. thanks. I will use it.
I hate the “adorable” fashion.
I love the British “brilliant” that you may use by the ton and the “gorgeous” weather, which, for the British, is the sky full of clouds and with a little blue now and then…
Thanks for the lesson.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Well, I generally do not touch children unless they are my own or I know them and their families extremely well. I also do not know any USA aborigines, so I will continue to tell the preschoolers and kindergartners at my school they are cute!

You are Anglo. And Anglos do not touch. Anglos are cool and Victorian. They shake hands with kindergarten kids which put every Latino laughing. Latinos and people from hot countries just touch much more and it is a sign of affection. Males just band with their hands in the shoulder of other males, strong and hard, to show camaraderie. As for kids, I will not say anything for I may start a discussion or be misunderstood. But it is different. With colleagues, we kiss each other. In France, it is too much: 4 kisses. When I was in a meeting in Rouen, France, 3 female enginners arrived to our group of 11 and it took such a long time to greet. And I never know where to start: if by the left cheek or the right cheek.

A joke: Once, Julio Iglesias was leaving an Hotel and a male receptionist wanted to shake hands with him, what he did. Latino Way, he put the other hand on his shoulder. Result: he go a case in court by the receptionist for … “aggression”.

In America I step back one foot and put my hands in the back and wait for the other person to take initiative, be it shake hands, kiss, embrace, whatever. You never know …

Aborigenes means people who are born in a certain place where others arrive. For instance, the Aborigenes of South Africa.
Now, if I arrive in America from abroad, the people who were born in the USA are aborigenes or indigenous.
That is a bit teasing for I was born in a country where there were aborigenes !!! What in a certain sense… I do not want to enter into that.
So, why dont the USA citizens may call aborigenes or indigenous to the europeans when they arrive in Europe ?
I use that often as a way of reflecting on words, just that … I make it a point but I do not go into fights over it.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Cute is an appropriate word to describe children in the US.

Unfortunately, parents of small children (myself included) are worried about things that people did not worry about in my parents age.

Practically every day there is a news story of a child being abuducted and killed, and amber alert (an allert to be allert for a missing child who is missing), a high level molestation case, a teacher having an affair with a student etc.

So we worry about any attention that our children might get that could seem odd. So even something innocuous like “Oh, cute kid” might seem threatening.

When my youngest was still small enough to be in a baby carriage, I was grocery shopping. An elderly man peered into the carriage, and asked “What aisle did you find this one in, are there any more?” I knew he was just being paying a complement.

100 % YES, I agree.

You raised the main issue. If a child is abducted in Peking, the same day, you know it in Oklahoma. In the old times, you were fortunate enough to know what happened in your small village.

Second: mass media like blood and sex. So, people tend to think that there is crime and violence in each corner which is not true.

The problem is not with the mass media but with our own evil. We like blood and sex. The media only portrays what we want to hear and see. In a conference by a famous “pivot” of a TV Station, when there was a bid disaster that killed 57 people, he said that his station had nothing to say but was forced to be on air, for, if his station left for another program, people would change for the station that would give more gruesome news. Original sin.

Original Sin. I do not need Adam and Eve. I know Original Sin is within us.

I felt that when I went to the States, a certain worry by the mothers. Immediately I understood that I could not do my favorite game with toddlers: “making faces”. they love it (though i must do it without my wife seeing it) and they are really amazing communicating through “faces”.

Maybe saying something crazy like your supermarket person: “Did you come from Paris?” would do. No, I think this one is too stupid…

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Depends.

Someone tells me my 16 month old is cute, I smile and thank them as a proud father.

Someone tells my mother that her son is cute, my wife gets annoyed and suspicious.

:banghead:

The mother was at the beach with the son and when he whistle to a girl, the mother said to the husband: “Look, our John is behaving like a man!”

Bored by the beach and thinking on the office, the husband saw a “cute” bikini passing through and whistled. The wife shouted: “BEHAVE LIKE A MAN!”

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Cute is an appropriate word to describe children in the US.

Unfortunately, parents of small children (myself included) are worried about things that people did not worry about in my parents age.

Practically every day there is a news story of a child being abuducted and killed, and amber alert (an allert to be allert for a missing child who is missing), a high level molestation case, a teacher having an affair with a student etc.

So we worry about any attention that our children might get that could seem odd. So even something innocuous like “Oh, cute kid” might seem threatening.

When my youngest was still small enough to be in a baby carriage, I was grocery shopping. An elderly man peered into the carriage, and asked “What aisle did you find this one in, are there any more?” I knew he was just being paying a complement.

Another response.
Now I remember and it was in a Paris Museum.
I found a child lost. Without thinking, I calmed her and took her hand searching for a Guard. Meanwhile, the kids’ mother was warned but I do not remember which language that the child was with me. I saw her and I do not think she was too happy, she did not thank and she did not look back.
Moral of the Story: Between me and my great swimmers sons, we have saved already about 13 people from the sea. But, after this, sorry for the next kids. No matter what danger are they in, I will call the police … I am a good Samaritan but I am not stupid …

 

[Catholic90]

You are Anglo. And Anglos do not touch. Anglos are cool and Victorian.

I do not touch the children, because I work in a school, and this is basic common sense for everyone’s safety! I will hug a child ONLY if the child’s parent is present AND the child initiates the hug (like at holidays or end of the school year). Also, I always make sure to never be in a room with only one child with the door closed. If I am working one on one with a student, the door to my classroom must remain open, or I will go to an open area outside the classroom.

At home with my own children and with my friends, I am very touchy and huggy.