Isn't Scrupulosity Unavoidable?

[Searching1]

I have been suffering from scrupulosity in recent months. Let me break it down –

We must remain in a state of grace in order avoid purgatory – or worse, hell – and remaining in a state of grace means confessing all mortal sins and avoiding sin going forward.

Also –

1. Following all ten commandments;
2. Genuinely taking the beatitudes to heart;
3. Avoiding the seven vices by living virtuously; and
4. Following the precepts of the Church, praying frequently, and trusting in God.

The above list seems to be the way to heaven (I recognize I am being reductionist and “missing the point” but I am also hitting the nail on the head to a certain degree).

Also, importantly, a sin is not considered “mortal” if it does not meet three criteria: that the subject matter be grave, that your will is fully consenting to the sin, and that it is committed with full knowledge of the sin.

But leaving the discernment to the individual to decide whether one of their sins is mortal or not leads to self justification, right?

You may say "this isn’t a mortal sin because [list reasons here], and those reasons will have to do with why your will wasn’t FULLY consenting (just mostly, perhaps), or that the matter wasn’t really grave, etc.

For instance, there are a MILLION little lies that an otherwise upstanding, reliable, GOOD person makes throughout the year. Lying is a sin, and it’s listed in the commandments that we shall not lie. Isn’t breaking any commandment prima facie grave? No matter if it was financial fraud that benefited me millions of dollars or a lie about having two cats in my apartment instead of only one, even though the landlord only allows one – they are both lies.

Canon law also states we must list our sins and the NUMBER OF TIMES we committed them. How on earth can anyone only go to confession one to three times a year if we will almost assuredly forget how many times we committed the sin? Therefore how can anyone skip confession even one week?

Also, receiving the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin desecrates the sacrament. How can anyone, even someone who just went to confession, ever be pure enough to receive the Eucharist?

So to answer my own question, “isn’t scrupulosity unavoidable?” I would say “no,” and in fact, it seems possible that those who say they are in a state of grace might have merely given themselves a pass. I am scrupulous and try to NEVER give myself a pass, but I am so unhappy because of it and truly exhausted by it.

Some theologians also say moral culpability is lessened or defeated if we are addicts, too. Addicted to sex, to alcohol – the addiction itself may lessen moral culpability because your will isn’t fully consenting. But does it really lessen it? And how do we know if we’re truly addicted? What if we simply tell ourselves that we are (thus giving ourselves a pass). There are clear situations when you are an addict and when you’re not, but there is an ocean of souls somewhere in the middle.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

The answer to your thread question is “no”. Lots of people go through life without scrupulousity.

Look, you’re in the right place with wanting to avoid sin
But you’re going off the rails by forgetting God’s mercy.

And you’re also forgetting that religion isn’t rules, it’s about relationship with a God who loves you very much and hates sin because it harms you.

On a psychological level, scrupulosity is highly correlated with anxiety and with OCD, which is why scrupulous person here are usually advised to get some sort of counseling.

Peace and joy for Christmas

 

[Roguish]

[…] the addiction itself may lessen moral culpability because your will isn’t fully consenting. But does it really lessen it? And how do we know if we’re truly addicted? What if we simply tell ourselves that we are (thus giving ourselves a pass). There are clear situations when you are an addict and when you’re not, but there is an ocean of souls somewhere in the middle.

Yes, there’s a grey area? So? You need to be honest with yourself, yes, and that’s something I consider to be a charism. But I think any sincere Christian becomes endowed with this as his Walk with God progresses.

As for addiction, I think it’s not that hard to detect. When you say to yourself that you’re not going to do “it” anymore, and at that moment honestly and confidently feel that you have the strength, and then, to your own surprise, a couple of hours or days or weeks later you feel the urge arise and it’s incredibly powerful again, to the point of weakening your knees and spinning your head, then you know you’re addicted. That’s how it is for alcoholics, drug addicts, porn addicts, etc.

Lying is a sin, and it’s listed in the commandments that we shall not lie.

Actually, that’s not what the eight commandment says. It says that “thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor”. We moderns have extended this to cover all lies, but that’s quite inappropriate. What the commandment pertains to is a situation in which someone is brought before a “court” for having been accused of a crime. In that case, it is indeed a grave sin for a witness to make false claims about what did or did not happen. W.r.t. lying in general it’s not so black and white whether it’s a sin or not. I made this argument in another thread so I’m not going to repeat it, but in short there are plenty of situations thinkable where honesty doesn’t work, and there is no room for a polite “I’d rather not talk about that.” It’s a good example of a “sin” that people think they’re guilty of all the time, while in fact not all lies are sins. Mostly, the intent to deceive must be present; otherwise stating something other than facts isn’t necessarily wrong. (But I’ll admit this is to a considerably extent a cultural thing; the West is obsessed with factuality, even when the social cost of that is very high and there is little to be gained from stating “the facts”.)

So to answer my own question, “isn’t scrupulosity unavoidable?” I would say “no,”

Scrupulosity is what happens when you try to leave it to your “rational” thought to determine whether something was sinful or not, instead of leaving it to your intuition, conscience, and the Church’s explicit teachings. Your mental faculty (a.k.a. thought) isn’t meant for this, so it can go berzerk when you start using it because it can’t find the answer. The way out of scrupulosity is to get out of your head and into your heart. (And I know that’s not easy; yet, it’s possible.)

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

We must remain in a state of grace in order avoid purgatory – or worse, hell – and remaining in a state of grace means confessing all mortal sins and avoiding sin going forward.

Being in a state of grace does not equate to avoiding purgatory. The state of grace is having a restored relationship with the Almighty; it doesn’t mean we’ve atoned for everything.

Also –

1. Following all ten commandments;
2. Genuinely taking the beatitudes to heart;
3. Avoiding the seven vices by living virtuously; and
4. Following the precepts of the Church, praying frequently, and trusting in God.

Replace the numerals in your list with equal signs (=); I’ll think you’ll find that there’s not a big complex equation to our duty after all. I mean, Jesus summarized it in a single compound sentence: Love God and love your neighbor.

But leaving the discernment to the individual to decide whether one of their sins is mortal or not leads to self justification, right?

Sure it could… but what if we’re honest with ourselves? We’ve been created with a conscience for a reason.

How on earth can anyone only go to confession one to three times a year if we will almost assuredly forget how many times we committed the sin? Therefore how can anyone skip confession even one week?

We should probably be going more frequently, but then again, someone who is striving to live the life Christ wants for us could easily not be in mortal sin that frequently. For each of us, it’s a continuum of effort and grace.

How can anyone, even someone who just went to confession, ever be pure enough to receive the Eucharist?

“Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word…”. WE aren’t worthy; HE makes us so. Don’t deny his grace.

 

[guanophore]

While scrupulosity can be a severe burden, your post shows that you have deep and passionate concern about pleasing God, and fulfilling His will for your life.

We must remain in a state of grace in order avoid purgatory – or worse, hell

It might help to think of purgatory as a gift, rather than something to be avoided. It is a state of cleansing where all of our attachments to sin are burned away from us, so that we can be in the presence of God, where nothing unclean is permitted.

It is possible to have our purgatory here on earth, as join our sufferings with Christ.

The above list seems to be the way to heaven (I recognize I am being reductionist and “missing the point” but I am also hitting the nail on the head to a certain degree ).

What “point” would that be?

But leaving the discernment to the individual to decide whether one of their sins is mortal or not leads to self justification, right?

Not necessarily, but for people who struggle with this, it is best they have a Spiritual Director who can set their minds at ease.

Isn’t breaking any commandment prima facie grave?

It is considered grave matter, but that does not speak to the other two criteria.

No matter if it was financial fraud that benefited me millions of dollars or a lie about having two cats in my apartment instead of only one, even though the landlord only allows one – they are both lies.

This would seem to set aside the degree/gravity. Having two cats in your apartment is not, in itself, a grave matter.

Canon law also states we must list our sins and the NUMBER OF TIMES we committed them. How on earth can anyone only go to confession one to three times a year if we will almost assuredly forget how many times we committed the sin?

Some people write them down, but for most of us, more frequent confession makes it easier.

Therefore how can anyone skip confession even one week?

That would depend upon the lifestyle of the person involved.

 

[guanophore]

How can anyone, even someone who just went to confession, ever be pure enough to receive the Eucharist?

This is really the core of the matter. The truth is that none of us are “pure enough”. We are made pure by His grace, through faith. His grace is poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, and flows through the sacraments. Once we accept that we, of ourselves, can never by sufficiently worthy, we can throw ourselves upon His mercy no longer need to be preoccupied with ourselves.

it seems possible that those who say they are in a state of grace might have merely given themselves a pass.

It would, except that getting and staying in the state of Grace is dependent upon God, not ourselves. All we can do is accept His grace.

I am so unhappy because of it and truly exhausted by it.

This is understandable. First of all, the devil loves to rob us of our birthright, which is the joy of the Holy Spirit, so he will do whatever possible to upset our peace of mind.

Secondly, any time we are trying to work our way to heaven (which no person can do) we will not only end up unsuccessful but become exhausted.

But does it really lessen it? And how do we know if we’re truly addicted? What if we simply tell ourselves that we are (thus giving ourselves a pass). There are clear situations when you are an addict and when you’re not, but there is an ocean of souls somewhere in the middle.

That is why these questions must be relinquished to a Spiritual Director. You are right on that we are very capable of deceiving ourselves, so it is best to avoid not only the mental gymnastics, but the spiritual risk.

God bless you richly, Searching1 in your struggle to be obedient to your Heavenly Father.

 

[1ke]

Scrupulosity is a form of mental illness in the OCD family. You need to get professional help. Scruples are not rational.