Isolation and the Faith

[iwillrisenow]

Does anyone else struggle with isolation and a lonely life in the Faith? I am a single woman living and working in an environment abroad that is overwhelmingly male-dominated (more foreign guys here than girls). It’s the most isolated I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve posted about this before: I’m still here for the time being but am still contemplating departure prior to the end of the year. Additionally, I’m working with kids (teaching) and while I love them dearly, I’m an introvert and I just don’t have the energy to bounce around a classroom all day, every day (the in-class hours here are long). My lack of energy plus the activity of choice of many around me being drinking/meeting women (or men) equals well…more isolation than I can handle.

The problem has never been finding Mass or other Catholics. The vast majority, however, tend to be married couples or extremely close-knit communities from other countries. They’re friendly enough, but of course they have their own concerns. The last time I lived abroad for an extended period was prior to my conversion and a much better experience in terms of meeting people and enjoying life. There was a lot of sin involved as well at that time, though I did not see it then I see it now. I guess I’m really struggling because I felt a lot more like a human being back then than I do now in this isolated state.

 

[TheQuestioner]

Don’t worry. I’m sure God is preparing you in this state, even though it doesn’t feel like it. Maybe He is preparing you for when you come back to meet some handsome guy.

God works wonders, especially when we are unaware of Him doing it, and especially when it hurts inside.

 

[Trishie]

It doesn’t sound like an ideal situation for you so I hope you’re not being too hard on yourself.
You sound like a good and sincere person. I do ask God to guide and lead you towards an environment and situation in which you can flourish. I very sincerely wish you the best for your future.

Warm regards, Trishie

 

[roveau]

I really feel for you. I think you know that you are ‘flogging a dead horse’ and I think it a good decision to leave at the end of the year. You may try to work less hours too in the future if you find you have limited energy.

I think for single Catholics it is difficult to find a place where you can just slot in. When you get back why not try joining a secular order - they are good for the faith and good as a community too. Try some out (ie visit some meetings) to find the one that suits you.

 

[MagsM]

Does anyone else struggle with isolation and a lonely life in the Faith?

Ha. For sure it is difficult to find like-minded people to share life with - even in a parish at home. To some degree, that is why I participate in these forums - sometimes it is inspiring and edifying, sometimes I learn something, and sometimes it is to just to share with like-minded people. It doesn’t take the place of real contact though.

The problem has never been finding Mass or other Catholics. The vast majority, however, tend to be married couples or extremely close-knit communities from other countries. They’re friendly enough, but of course they have their own concerns. The last time I lived abroad for an extended period was prior to my conversion and a much better experience in terms of meeting people and enjoying life. There was a lot of sin involved as well at that time, though I did not see it then I see it now. I guess I’m really struggling because I felt a lot more like a human being back then than I do now in this isolated state.

It does take time to find holy friendship. And it seems the virtue of hospitality is a forgotten one. Have you thought of inviting people over or going for a coffee after Mass, or volunteering at the church? I realize it can be overwhelming for an introvert, especially if you are feeling needy and language is a barrier.Keep praying for holy companionship, He will answer you. I do pray with you that you find local companionship to edify and comfort your spirit, my friend. But wow - I love that you are seeing the difference in your life between now and then though. What a blessing!

Also, I remember when I stayed abroad for a while there were some ex-patriot web sites that had some gatherings listed. Have you checked for any in your area?

 

[iwillrisenow]

While there are some groups that meet up in the larger city, I’ve been dealing with two challenges in meeting people this way. One is that my unsociable work schedule (until 9-10 pm on weekdays) makes it impossible to meet people or get involved in activities on weekday evenings, which can make all the difference in one’s social life. I end up cramming a lot into every weekend, which doesn’t help my energy issues. The second is that I am located in an isolated part of a non-major city, so I am pretty far away from the closest center of expat social life. I’m sure many know from experience that just meeting other Catholics does not always mean meeting others who take their faith as seriously as you do…not a judgment call, but it can lead to some complications, particularly with male friends…