Isolation

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Curious

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Hey guys,

I’m frustrated with how cut off I feel from the world. I feel like I’m doing ANYTHING.

I work long hours - I am a doc - specifically a second year (almost third) family practice resident. Sometimes the hours aren’t even that long, but mentally draining. My husband is a stay at home dad and mostly a hermit. He’s currently recovering from a pretty bad break in his leg.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels the days slipping by. I get up, go to work, come home, try to play with my kid a little, put her to bed, and then it’s practically time to go to bed myself. I have so little time to even clean the house that I try to catch up that with on weekends. You read the importantance of having “me time” but if you take too much “me time” than nothing else gets done. Bills pile up, work stuff piles up, deadlines press on me. We have no real, regular friends we keep in contact with or meet with. I have an awesome parish and I feel like I don’t have the time to be involved in anything (it doesn’t help that it’s 45 minutes away) because my mobility is constrained because of work, my 3 year old, and the busy-ness of life that seems to consume me.

I feel like I’m living in isolation, not doing any serving, any activity, any anything but going through the motions. Sorry, that turned into kind of a rant.

Curious
 
Isolation is a sickness unto itself that feeds other unhealthy emotions and habits. You need to find an outlet or your struggling spirit will find one for you. Have you tried reaching out to your co-workers and building better relationships with them. Being a doctor is consuming, I can imagine, and I’ve certainly never had such a demanding job, but I’ve often found the bonds I build with people at work are some of the most helpful and fullfilling. If you feel yourself breaking down or the stress is just to much, consider perhaps seeing a proffesional or at least seeking proffesional counsol. One does not have to be a drug addict to benefit from such assistance.

I am a busy student who sees a counselor once a week and it is really the highlight of my week. One hour out of the week though it is, it is my time to just unload about anything and everything and get some positive, constructive feedback. I let myself be isolated as well, for to long. I delibrately made myself as busy as possible (five clubs, 17 credits, two part time jobs, tutoring, etc…) and attempted to just ignore all my negative emotions, but they eventually found their way out via a very unhealthy outlet.

Little problems can pile up and turn into big ones if we ignore them for to long and cut ourselves off from positive human interaction.

But coming here and ranting is also very healthy to 👍 . Feel free to come here and unload anytime you need to. I sometimes come here as my place of escape and connection when I start feeling isolated again.

I’ll be praying for you.
 
Entrust yourself to Jesus Christ. He is your Friend and Bridegroom, and He will arrange everything for your good.
 
My dear friend

Holiness is our goal. Hioliness makes us happy no matter how mundane or busy etc our life seems. Turn all into prayer as it can be. Do Gods will for love of God or your Blessed Mother. Get very close to them and do it all for them. Continue your life of service and sacrifice and offer it all as your prayer. The better you do it, the closer you get to God, the happier you will be. Guaranteed. Give it a shot. You will be happy in this life and the next.

God bless you:thumbsup:🙂
John
 
Dear Curious:

It is hard to work long hours and come home to deal with various household works. Since your husband stays at home, maybe he can help with writing checks and paying bills along with some other concrete assistance. That will give you some of your own time.
Marriage is mutual sacrifice. I hope you can communicate with him and receive his help.

Since your work occupies the majority of the day, the best way to feel connected is with your work. Being a doctor must be your call.
You can utilize your contact with patients to convey your love and kindness. In stead of going through the motion, we can always do ordinary things with extra-ordinary love. And what you are doing is no ordinary work at all. So you can actually do extra-ordinary things with extra-ordinary love. Then you will feel much better connected.

Also, remember to pray through out the day, pray for your patients. Prayer will bring you close to God. And a grateful heart will ease the pain of isolation. When you go home to see your dear child and be able to play with her, the blessing of having your own child and family will bring happiness to your heart.

As for making friends, it takes time and efforts. Send your petition to God and He will direct your step to find friends. But before that happens, please utilize the daily contact with patients to let Jesus’ love shine through you. And that will make you happy.
 
Thanks guys. I do feel a little better after reading these posts. And I have prayed to be able to find an opportunity to love/serve/give to my patients in ways that aren’t just medical. Right now God is working with me on specific things - it’s really great - the call now IS to holiness for me. But at some point, I’m going to need some contact with the outside world that isn’t just at work.
 
Curious said:
Thanks guys. I do feel a little better after reading these posts. And I have prayed to be able to find an opportunity to love/serve/give to my patients in ways that aren’t just medical. Right now God is working with me on specific things - it’s really great - the call now IS to holiness for me. But at some point, I’m going to need some contact with the outside world that isn’t just at work.
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My dear friend

Just a thought but have you tossed around the idea of having a traditional catholic family and lifestyle? It would fix all your problems if you did it. It may sound too hard in todays world but people who do this are extremely happy and have a great family life and time for friends etc. You just need to change your perception, priorities, goals and get your satisfaction elsewhere for it to work. Food for thought.

God bless you:thumbsup:🙂
John
 
Make your work at the hospital a full-time ministry. Treat you patients with the same love and affection you would the Lord, if you don’t already. And if you do already, know that your days are being fully spent in full service of the Lord - a full-time ministry of love - exactly how our Lord would want you to spend your day. You are doing such an excellent service for people tending to their bodies. Tending to their souls while you are at it makes it even more of a blessing for the souls you take care of. And if some of the souls at the hospital are too difficult for you to see the face of Christ in, then see the potential of Christ in them and work from there. Peace!
 
My dear friend
Click to expand...
Just a thought but have you tossed around the idea of having a traditional catholic family and lifestyle? It would fix all your problems if you did it. It may sound too hard in todays world but people who do this are extremely happy and have a great family life and time for friends etc. You just need to change your perception, priorities, goals and get your satisfaction elsewhere for it to work. Food for thought.
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God bless you:thumbsup:🙂
John
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John, your post made me smile. I used to think about how great it would be to stay home, take care of the house, and have ten thousand kids. When we were first married, it during the summer. My husband worked, and I had the summer off because I was in college. I might have done a little work study then I can’t remember. We were pretty much dirt poor but I really liked cooking and cleaning and carrying on. And we had fun.

I think doctoring may be my calling though. It’s hard to remember that in times like this when I’m so overwhelmed with stress, have no time, and long to connect with people, and try to do some good in the world.

I really liked the post about considering my job as my full time ministry, because I am in a unique position to help people not only through tending to their illnesses. I really must remember that

🙂

Curious
 
Curious said:
John, your post made me smile. I used to think about how great it would be to stay home, take care of the house, and have ten thousand kids. When we were first married, it during the summer. My husband worked, and I had the summer off because I was in college. I might have done a little work study then I can’t remember. We were pretty much dirt poor but I really liked cooking and cleaning and carrying on. And we had fun.

I think doctoring may be my calling though. It’s hard to remember that in times like this when I’m so overwhelmed with stress, have no time, and long to connect with people, and try to do some good in the world.

I really liked the post about considering my job as my full time ministry, because I am in a unique position to help people not only through tending to their illnesses. I really must remember that

🙂

Curious
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My dear friend Curious

Glad you smiled. i helped someone have a better day perhaps. i know you probably do but perhaps try praying harder that you do Gods will. i don’t know what it is but if you want to be happy that’s the road you must travel for it.

God bless you dear friend:thumbsup:🙂
John
 
Curious said:
Hey guys,

play with my kid a little, put her to bed, and then it’s practically time to go to bed myself. I have so little time to even clean the house that I try to catch up that with on weekends. You read the importantance of having “me time” but if you take too much “me time” than nothing else gets done. Bills pile up, work stuff piles up, deadlines press on me. We have no real, regular friends we keep in contact with or meet with. I have an awesome parish and I feel like I don’t have the time to be involved in anything (it doesn’t help that it’s 45 minutes away) because my mobility is constrained because of work, my 3 year old, and the busy-ness of life that seems to consume me.

.

Curious
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is there a way to cut back on your hours… I got tired just reading this… 😃 I’d go bonkers wtih half that…

(of course, some would say i have already achieved that end…) :whacky:
 
Curious said:
Hey guys,

I’m frustrated with how cut off I feel from the world. I feel like I’m doing ANYTHING.

I work long hours - I am a doc - specifically a second year (almost third) family practice resident. Sometimes the hours aren’t even that long, but mentally draining. My husband is a stay at home dad and mostly a hermit. He’s currently recovering from a pretty bad break in his leg.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels the days slipping by. I get up, go to work, come home, try to play with my kid a little, put her to bed, and then it’s practically time to go to bed myself. I have so little time to even clean the house that I try to catch up that with on weekends. You read the importantance of having “me time” but if you take too much “me time” than nothing else gets done. Bills pile up, work stuff piles up, deadlines press on me. We have no real, regular friends we keep in contact with or meet with. I have an awesome parish and I feel like I don’t have the time to be involved in anything (it doesn’t help that it’s 45 minutes away) because my mobility is constrained because of work, my 3 year old, and the busy-ness of life that seems to consume me.

I feel like I’m living in isolation, not doing any serving, any activity, any anything but going through the motions. Sorry, that turned into kind of a rant.

Curious
Click to expand...
I can understand how you feel. I am a nurse in a teaching hospital and work with Residents every day and see first-hand how stressed out they can get, and see the great demands on their time and how exhausted they can become.

Since your husband has a broken leg, he probably can’t do much around the house, and that makes things worse. Is it possible for you to hire a cleaning person to come in once a week or so to help free up your weekends? Even a responsible teenager who wants to make a little money by doing general cleaning would be a big help, if you can afford it. Just a suggestion.
 
I have a Ph.D. (genetics) and a J.D. Now my life is much more balanced, but during my academic training and for a few years after school, my life was imbalanced and crazy-making. What you’re experiencing now isn’t the way it will always be. Eventually you’ll have more time for life outside work. However, even then, a medical practice is uncommonly demanding. Some of us desire to serve God in such demanding vocations. God will help you make your practice a life of service and a meeting-place with Christ. Hang in there.
 
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