Issue with Reconciliation

[JMJDevotee]

I came into the fullness of the Church a little more than 2 years ago. I had an issue at first with this Sacrament. My biggest problem was that my parish does not have Confessionals, not even a privacy screen. That is my problem.

I prefer the “old school” Confession with a grille and the heavy vlevet curtain. I know it is valid either way but there is something more reverent and holy and fulfilling about it.

In order to have Reconciliation the way I prefer it, I have to drive 2 hours to my DSIL parish. Her preist is a wonderful man who converted like me. Here is my problem. My kids 13,14,15 all go to our parish with our priest. They know I drive once a month to Dunn to visit Aunt Chrissy and go to confession but they have never seen me do it. Am I hurting their faith? I mean, is me telling them I go enough? And now, I am teaching the 3rd graders preparing them for their 1st Reconcilitation and 1st Communion. I have been asked to go to Confession at their communal Reconciliation service in a few weeks. I want to set a good example as their teacher but really don’t want to go to an open Confession. It is really not a self-conscious thing either. I just feel that this Sacrament is a private one between the communicant, the priest and God. Please advise.

Pax

 

[jmcrae]

I know what you mean - I prefer the “box” as well. (I also like confessing to an FSSP priest, and hearing the Absolution in Latin.)

However, when taking my Catechism class to Confession, I also go with them. I find that it sets a certain “tone” when the teacher (me) goes, too - it kind of takes away that whole sense of “they’re making us …” - they see you go, and they realize that this is for everyone; that it’s a “grown-up” thing to do, and that it’s fine.

In the past, we have had priests in our program who didn’t like Confessionals (why do these guys always end up in charge of the kids’ programs?) and so I went face to face, in the way that they were doing it.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I came into the fullness of the Church a little more than 2 years ago. I had an issue at first with this Sacrament. My biggest problem was that my parish does not have Confessionals, not even a privacy screen. That is my problem.

I prefer the “old school” Confession with a grille and the heavy vlevet curtain. I know it is valid either way but there is something more reverent and holy and fulfilling about it.

In order to have Reconciliation the way I prefer it, I have to drive 2 hours to my DSIL parish. Her preist is a wonderful man who converted like me. Here is my problem. My kids 13,14,15 all go to our parish with our priest. They know I drive once a month to Dunn to visit Aunt Chrissy and go to confession but they have never seen me do it. Am I hurting their faith? I mean, is me telling them I go enough? And now, I am teaching the 3rd graders preparing them for their 1st Reconcilitation and 1st Communion. I have been asked to go to Confession at their communal Reconciliation service in a few weeks. I want to set a good example as their teacher but really don’t want to go to an open Confession. It is really not a self-conscious thing either. I just feel that this Sacrament is a private one between the communicant, the priest and God. Please advise.

Pax

First off, a screen is required for those who wish to use one according to canon law. You need to advise your pastor that one is not available. If one goes to Confession or not is a private matter. As for the communial Reconciliation service there would be nothing wrong going to confession and saying “It’s been one day since my last confession and I have no serious sins to confess but wish to receive the Grace of the Sacrament, and am sorry for…” Remember that even though the Reconciliation service is communial, each child must go to individual confession, and should have a screen if they wish to use one.

 

[MariaG]

First off, a screen is required for those who wish to use one according to canon law. You need to advise your pastor that one is not available. If one goes to Confession or not is a private matter. As for the communial Reconciliation service there would be nothing wrong going to confession and saying “It’s been one day since my last confession and I have no serious sins to confess but wish to receive the Grace of the Sacrament, and am sorry for…” Remember that even though the Reconciliation service is communial, each child must go to individual confession, and should have a screen if they wish to use one.

That is good to know that one can go to confession the day before and then do this.

That was going to be my suggestion, go to confession first then participate, but I wasn’t sure if would be okay to do.

Give me a screen every time and thank God that I live in a time of private confessions!

 

[MariaG]

Here is my problem. My kids 13,14,15 all go to our parish with our priest. They know I drive once a month to Dunn to visit Aunt Chrissy and go to confession but they have never seen me do it. Am I hurting their faith? I mean, is me telling them I go enough? .

Pax

In my opinion, as long as you share with them WHY you like to drive to go to confession so far away it is okay. Maybe one day, take them all with to experience confession in this private way? Make a day of it, and do some fun things too.

You never know, maybe some of them will choose to come with you and do confession “your” way

I think “seeing” you take a day once a month to do this even though it is a long drive is as valuable as going to confession as a family.

God Bless,
Maria

 

[CRW]

Br. Rich pointed out that Canon Law requires it. As reference: Canon Law 964, Section Two, “As far as the confessional is concerned, norms are to be issued by the Bishops’ Conference, with the proviso however that confessionals, fitted with a fixed grille between the penitent and the confessor, always be available in an open place, so that the faithful who so wish may freely use them.”

Addressing this to your priest should solve your problem; if not, take it to your bishop.

 

[catsrus]

The church I now attend has the screen, which I also find to be much more condusive to my concentration, especially being a convert at the age of 50!
I converted while attending a Newman Center and was very upset when they took away the option of the screen.
I did not know that one had to be provided until I read this thread!
Thank you.

 

[maryjk]

That is good to know that one can go to confession the day before and then do this.

That was going to be my suggestion, go to confession first then participate, but I wasn’t sure if would be okay to do.

Give me a screen every time and thank God that I live in a time of private confessions!

When I taught, I spoke with the priest but did not “go to Confession.” I went in sat down and said something like, “they needed to see me here but since I am not prepared for Confession, I will have to do it another time. But nice seeing you and thank you for spending your Saturday hearing the Confession of my kids.” I would thank him, since it would take hours for all the kids to go.

 

[JMJDevotee]

Thank you all for your wonderful words of wisdom.

I will address this with my priest. He is new to the parish (only been there about 4 months) and has made some much needed changes. He put the Tabernacle back on the alter , he instrcuted the parishoners about genuflecting/bowing in front of it , not speaking once seated in the sanctuary . Things that were much needed in our parish. He comes to speak to the catechism classes every week and the confirmation teens as well. He has been very open to communication with the parishoners-even if they don’t like his ideas.

I am taking my kids to confession today and plan on going early so I can address my issues with him.

Thanks again for all your wonderful ideas!! Have a blessed day!!

Pax

 

[MariaG]

When I taught, I spoke with the priest but did not “go to Confession.” I went in sat down and said something like, “they needed to see me here but since I am not prepared for Confession, I will have to do it another time. But nice seeing you and thank you for spending your Saturday hearing the Confession of my kids.” I would thank him, since it would take hours for all the kids to go.

I am glad to hear of other teachers who need/have done similar things.

I know as a teacher sometimes example is the best way to do things, but I also know my spiritual needs do not always coincide with theirs.

It is good to hear how others have handled these issues.

 

[LilyM]

Br. Rich pointed out that Canon Law requires it. As reference: Canon Law 964, Section Two, “As far as the confessional is concerned, norms are to be issued by the Bishops’ Conference, with the proviso however that confessionals, fitted with a fixed grille between the penitent and the confessor, always be available in an open place, so that the faithful who so wish may freely use them.”

Addressing this to your priest should solve your problem; if not, take it to your bishop.

Fixed grille eh? I’ve only seen two confessionals in my life that have those. Most here have some kind of fabric curtain screening the priest off instead.

Don’t like the grilles personally - especially in really small confessionals. I get a bit claustrophobic. Must be repressing a memory of being locked in a cupboard as a child or something.