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Hoosier_Daddy
Guest
Your advice stands personally or in general?
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PennyinCanada
Guest
I wanted to address an issue, one of being Catholic. I am very happy that as you consider marriage, you are here to get a better understanding of your faith as you come into more adult issues.
When we are in a state of grace, we can change the world. Our Lady at Fatima asked for prayers and sacrifices for the conversion of sinners and peace in this world, and we need people to take this challenge on more than ever! This is the treasure in heaven that our Lord speaks of. We can do a morning offering for this intention and offer all our joys, our sorrows and difficulties to God, and at the end of our life (and it could be sooner than we think!) God will say Good and faithful servant! Come into the joy that God has prepared for those who love him!
So many of our Catholics have been pulled off the tracks by sex outside of marriage and by artificial contraception and sterilization. There is a tremendous grace available to all of us when we make the decision to stay under the umbrella of God. When we are in a state of grace, we can ask God what we will! We will be in God’s army working for the kingdom of God. That is the vocation all of us have regardless of our state in life. The ‘problem’ of getting married is that you are hitching yourself to this person, and it’s time to think soberly and clearly. Is she going to actively pull you off the tracks or is she strong in her faith and going to help you remain in God’s good graces? Certainly the idea of NFP is challenging, and if she is not willing, after looking this issue over, then there is a very difficult choice for you. I of course hope with you that she is won over, but from what you wrote, it doesn’t sound like she is putting God first in discerning what path to choose.
I only wish that all our young ladies learned NFP by the time they were 15 because the world is evangelizing them to the pill much earlier and effectively than we have with God’s design for marriage and family life.
God bless and strengthen you today to choose the right path, the one to blessings.
When we are in a state of grace, we can change the world. Our Lady at Fatima asked for prayers and sacrifices for the conversion of sinners and peace in this world, and we need people to take this challenge on more than ever! This is the treasure in heaven that our Lord speaks of. We can do a morning offering for this intention and offer all our joys, our sorrows and difficulties to God, and at the end of our life (and it could be sooner than we think!) God will say Good and faithful servant! Come into the joy that God has prepared for those who love him!
So many of our Catholics have been pulled off the tracks by sex outside of marriage and by artificial contraception and sterilization. There is a tremendous grace available to all of us when we make the decision to stay under the umbrella of God. When we are in a state of grace, we can ask God what we will! We will be in God’s army working for the kingdom of God. That is the vocation all of us have regardless of our state in life. The ‘problem’ of getting married is that you are hitching yourself to this person, and it’s time to think soberly and clearly. Is she going to actively pull you off the tracks or is she strong in her faith and going to help you remain in God’s good graces? Certainly the idea of NFP is challenging, and if she is not willing, after looking this issue over, then there is a very difficult choice for you. I of course hope with you that she is won over, but from what you wrote, it doesn’t sound like she is putting God first in discerning what path to choose.
I only wish that all our young ladies learned NFP by the time they were 15 because the world is evangelizing them to the pill much earlier and effectively than we have with God’s design for marriage and family life.
God bless and strengthen you today to choose the right path, the one to blessings.
K
kittyplant
Guest
It’s also concerning that she wants to stay away from hormonal contraceptives, which have side effects for HER but she is willing to have YOU wear a condom, putting the sin of contraception on you. One of the big goals of marriage is to help your spouse reach heaven. Leading a potential spouse into sin is not a good sign.
Does that mean if the female is open to receive babies but the male pulls out, or wears a condom, the sin is his?
Does that mean if the female is open to receive babies but the male pulls out, or wears a condom, the sin is his?
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LittleRose
Guest
It could be argued yes. However, many women who are open to life (including myself) find the idea of sex with ABC repulsive. If my husband ever started talking about condoms or vasectomies, I might start talking about separate bedrooms.
Fortunately, we both agree that NFP is best for us.We have been married seven years, and in that time we have used two different methods of NFP, and we like both. As a woman, I wish I had learned all this stuff about my body when I was 12. It has helped me take much better care of myself, and thanks to a doctor trained to interpret my charts, has made it possible to fix reproductive health problems that have plagued me since my teens (I am now in my 30s)
As a wife, I like that NFP helps my husband to respect my fertility and keeps him from taking sex for granted (whether we are avoiding or trying to conceive). Charting also empowers him to be a better husband–having hard data showing what my hormones are doing, how they affect my moods and my emotional needs allows him to be a more sensitive partner. . It has made communication within our marriage easier
Alas, our attempts to conceive have not been successful so far, but that leads me to another benefit of practicing NFP with a heart open to life. That is, you learn to keep an open mind about the future, and the possibility that plans may have to change. If I had bought into the illusion of total control that ABC and artificial reproductive technologies offer, I think the pain of infertility would have driven both of us out of our minds long ago. NFP helped us develop an appreciation for and acceptance of fertility (to whatever extent we may or may not have it), a desire to understand and care for our bodies, and an attitude of acceptance toward the reality of how our bodies are working at a given time
Even if we cease to use the charting to guide the timing of our marital embrace, we will continue to chart as long as my cycles last. It has been challenging at times, but that challenge has been good for our souls and our marriage.
OP, I hope your girlfriend will come to see this. If she is unable to, you may be happier waiting to marry until you find someone who does.
D
DaisymaeD
Guest
I can truly say that if DH and I contracepted, we would be divorced today.
In our early marriage, we had some problems, mostly centered on his getting cold feet about having children. It’s a long story, but using NFP made us communicate with each other, on an ongoing basis. It was hard, but we opened up to each other, and we’re married a long time now. If we had been using ABC, we would have been easily able to sweep our issues under the rug, letting issues and resentments fester.
Also, re the issue of surprise pregnancies? Our third was a surprise…and we were never able to have another baby after that, although we tried for years.
Your girlfriend haS been raised in a contraception-saturated culture (just like my DH) and it may take her time to adjust to a different way of thinking.
Good luck…God bless.
In our early marriage, we had some problems, mostly centered on his getting cold feet about having children. It’s a long story, but using NFP made us communicate with each other, on an ongoing basis. It was hard, but we opened up to each other, and we’re married a long time now. If we had been using ABC, we would have been easily able to sweep our issues under the rug, letting issues and resentments fester.
Also, re the issue of surprise pregnancies? Our third was a surprise…and we were never able to have another baby after that, although we tried for years.
Your girlfriend haS been raised in a contraception-saturated culture (just like my DH) and it may take her time to adjust to a different way of thinking.
Good luck…God bless.
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