Issues with Loving my Body

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Gman1

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Hello everyone,
Throughout my life, I’ve been told by society and couple of people that I know that I’m just too skinny ans this has really affected me personally. I think I am not good enough to have a girlfriend for example because I might not be good enough physically for her. I am afraid of what others may think of me and I lack self confidence and esteem. I have recently been working out to try to resolve this. Is there anything wrong with working out to try to solve this? Right now, this is my big sin. I want to be sorry for it but I can’t seem to be. I just don’t know what to do. If you can give any advice, great. If not that’s alright. I will also speak to a priest about it in confession next week.
Thanks y’all
Gregory
 
Gman1 said:
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It is not sinful to improve the physical condition in order to make one’s body more attractive. What is to be avoided is pride.

Catechism of the Catholic Church has this, 2559 and 2546 for humility:
“The virtue by which a Christian acknowledges that God is the author of all good. Humility avoids inordinate ambition or pride, and provides the foundation for turning to God in prayer. Voluntary humility can be described as ‘poverty of spirit’.”
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All I would add is talk to a doctor to make sure your body has no medical issues preventing your goal. (Metabolism/hormonal/whatever)
Dominus vobiscum
 
Gman1 said:
Is there anything wrong with working out to try to solve this? Right now, this is my big sin. I want to be sorry for it but I can’t seem to be. I just don’t know what to do.
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I don’t understand why you think you’re doing something wrong. There’s nothing wrong with working out. You’ll improve your appearance and health. As long as it doesn’t make you vain or obsessed with your looks, it’s totally fine.
 
It is not a sin to try to optimize one’s physical condition. In fact, it can be a good thing, as long as it doesn’t tip over into the area of mental illness, drug abuse, etc.

However, the first thing that needs to be said is that you are probably absolutely fine as you are. Unless you are clinically underweight, you don’t actually have to do anything to"improve" yourself. Also, if you are worrying about what women find attractive, that varies hugely. I would guess that most women do not actually go for the bodybuilder type.

I would suggest that you seek professional help. Issues to do with eating, exercise, and body image can quickly spiral into difficulties. You may find it helpful to speak with a physician, nutritionist, psychologist/counselor, personal trainer, etc.

The bottom line is, if you want to improve your diet and do more exercise, that’s great. But don’t do it because you can’t love yourself as you are.
 
Just be careful, as I think some guys do cross the line into vanity, also comparing themselves with others. Other than that, IMO the working out (and stretching) is healthy. As for girlfriends, if they’re impressed by bodies they might not be the kind you want to get involved with.
 
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Forget society. That leaves a couple of people that have told you so.But they arnt you.
You’re unique and unless you do have a health issue then you are just how God made you.
Which is good.
Being fit gives confidence and good strengths 🙂
If you’re thin but healthy there is nothing to worry about .
A smile and sense of humour ,kindness…those are more important.
God bless.
 
Ah i forgot to mention that I do not want to bodybuild or anything like that… I just would like to look decently fit, you know?
 
Gman1 said:
Ah i forgot to mention that I do not want to bodybuild or anything like that… I just would like to look decently fit, you know?
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There is nothing wrong with staying fit. I don’t know why you were worried about this. If anything, neglecting your health is the issue. Working out and eating well are good things.
 
Buks said:
As for girlfriends, if they’re impressed by bodies they might not be the kind you want to get involved with.
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There’s nothing wrong with women wanting to be physically attracted to the guy they’re dating. If ALL they care about is looks, sure, that’s an issue. But physical attraction is a component of a healthy relationship. It’s not the only thing that matters, but it does matter.
 
Gman1 said:
Is there anything wrong with working out to try to solve this
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Absolutely not. I was a skinny teen and young adult and had various comments directed my way over it from time to time. I was hurt by this and decided to do something about it for my own sense of confidence. So for the last forty+ years I’ve been working out, sometimes most strenuously. Because of this I am a far healthier person and the age-related things that come to us, like arthritis, have been far more manageable simply because I was fit to begin with. What you want to do is a positive thing that will provide long-lasting benefits.
 
Gman1 said:
Throughout my life, I’ve been told by society and couple of people that I know that I’m just too skinny
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As compared to what standard?

I’ve always been told that I was skinny or a light weight. But the people telling me weren’t ever Doctors, Nutritionists, or Trainers. So, personally, I consider their repeated comments harassment.

Talk to your Doctor if you’re concerned about your weight. Listen to their advice.
 
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Gman1 said:
I’m just too skinny
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I used to weigh 287 lbs. I now weigh around 200 (it fluctuates, but generally stays around that.) I am overweight, but not obese (because of my height). Are you skinny naturally or because you don’t get enough to eat? If that’s just how you’re built, then don’t worry about it. Build muscle if you think you are too skinny.
 
Do you think more about your body or about the God who made it? We must want our bodies to be in the best condition of how they were naturally created by God. If He made you naturally skinny, and some naturally muscular, no big deal, everyone is God’s masterpiece. It is not bad to want to lose or gain weight because your body would be healthier the way you are striving for. It must be about glorifying God with your body and not glorifying yourself. You should work for your body to be in the best condition it can be to be healthy to do the work God calls you to do. And if you struggle with low self confidence, remember God made you beautifully. When you work out, give thanks to God for your able body and that you can lift weights/run/play sports, etc. “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31) To want to gain muscle is not a bad thing, but it depends on your motives!
 
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My friends, I will tell you the reasons why I feel this way. I feel as though, I am almost not worthy. For instance there is a really beautiful girl that I kind of like and she’s an absolutely wonderful Catholic girl(I’ve seen her a few times at mass before) but I almost feel because she is so wonderful that because I may not be “overall physically attractive”, she may deny me or the like. This I think also goes along with my self confidence level. I really am unsure of how to deal with this, and it’s one of my biggest worries in life and I have yet to hand it over to the Lord.
Thoughts?
Many thanks
 
That is why I have begun to work out, to make myself gain confidence and lessen my worry. It’s all a mess and I don’t know what to do.
 
Gman1 said:
That is why I have begun to work out, to make myself gain confidence and lessen my worry. It’s all a mess and I don’t know what to do.
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It’s not a mess. You’re stressing over nothing. You want to put on some muscle to improve your health and appearance, so you’re hitting the gym. This is a perfectly normal, even commendable thing to do. It builds discipline and improves your health. You’ll have more energy, live longer, etc.

If you start obsessing over how great you look and become vain, sure, that’s an issue. But it sounds like you just started working out. I think you’re seeing a problem where none exists. Just go to the gym. It’s fine.
 
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Gman1 said:
That is why I have begun to work out, to make myself gain confidence and lessen my worry. It’s all a mess and I don’t know what to do.
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Nothing wrong with working out to improve your physical conditioning. It will also improve your mental demeanor as well.

Not saying this applies to you, but if it does then stop fapping and cut all contact with pornography. Those things can destroy a man’s libido and normal interactions with women. Again, if not applicable disregard.

MC
 
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Gman1 said:
. Is there anything wrong with working out to try to solve this?
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Why on earth would there be?

As long as you don’t have any underlying health issues, your goal should be to live the healthiest life you can with the body you have. And yes, that can include a fitness program. It could include a dietician if you do need to gain weight. You might also look into mental health counseling.

This next part assumes that you’re physically healthy. Speaking as a female, I can assure you that non-shallow women seeking someone to date are attracted to confidence (not arrogance - confidence) more than body type. I know plenty of thin men who lead fulfilling lives, like my string-bean of a brother-in-law who runs marathons and bikes long distances. 🙂 If extreme athleticism isn’t your thing, figure out what is and pursue it with passion.

Where you’re a single guy who’s looking, pretty please watch The Dating Project to put the dating issue in perspective. I don’t envy people who are single in our age.

Finally, by all means, take the issue to your priest. But as a layperson, I highly doubt you’re in a state of sin over this.
 
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