I’d like to share some of my personal experience in hopes that it is an encouragement to you. I married a man who was on the skinnier side, but over twenty years he’s bulked up and has aged like fine wine–I have always been attracted to him, but now…yummy. I love him no matter what, though, and he has done the same with me. Our entire marriage, I’ve had my body ravaged by cancer. I went from athletic and fit to way way overweight to underweight and am cruising at curvy with very little muscle tone and a lot of scars. My husband has never once made me feel bad about my body and chastises me when I lament my lack of appeal. Find yourself a girl like this, and be a man like my husband. Many men often come into their peak appeal in their thirties, forties, and even fifties. My husband is far sexier today at 50 than he was at 30. The attraction was there from the beginning–and that’s critical for romance–but a lot of the attraction was my husband’s grand sense of honour and duty, willingness to be vulnerable with me, utter loyalty and devotion, kindness, sense of humour, love of our children, and strong spiritual leadership. I could praise my husband all day but I’ll leave it at that.
When we met, life had beaten him down and he had low self esteem regarding women, but in short time my respect for and loyalty to him healed many wounds and he stands tall and confident in who God created him to be. He has made me a better person and has taught me to love and respect myself. That lovely Catholic girl you often see? Perhaps after she has a few babies (or a few decades of cancer!) she may be heavier and less firm. Will you still love her, be attracted to her? You seem to me to be the kind of man that will say ‘yes’. Allow yourself the idea that a woman will feel the same about you. Please understand–I’m not saying you have to live up to any certain physical ideal–but BE the right man, be open to the right woman, and know that you are worthy of love and affection NOW, JUST AS YOU ARE. My husband and I had our first date and were engaged within six weeks and married in six months. After our first date, my best friend and I were watching the news and my husband to be appeared on the television (in his law enforcement capacity). My friend said, based on his thinner physique and looks, “you can do better”. I saw something beautiful and masculine in him and dismissed her comment, feeling incensed that she would insult him. He has made my life wonderful for 20+ years and that friend, while an absolute dear, is still single at 50 and has ridiculous standards for a mate. Before my husband, I (briefly) dated a guy (wouldn’t call him a man) who was beautiful, hot, desirable, and was a professional model. He was an absolute jerk–arrogant, only interested in one thing–I couldn’t part ways with him fast enough. Side by side, at least a couple decades ago, any woman would pick Mr Model over Mr Nevermore. But attraction is it’s own animal and Mr Nevermore quickly won my affections. PLEASE know you are worthy JUST AS YOU ARE NOW. Invest in your health–physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. You have many lives to bless. I wish you all the best.
