Issues with my Mother

[thequeen]

It’s a daily thing. Not too long ago, DH and I actually moved in with my parents in order to save some money while we wait for the market to calm down where we live. We’re beginning to see that somethings are worth more than money–like our sanity!

I am trying to accept that she’s never going to change. I am trying to accept that every time I apologize to her for my own behavior and faults, it just cements in her mind that she’s right and I’m wrong. And I stopped expecting anything close to an apology from her years ago. But it hasn’t gotten any easier.

She brags to everyone how “in touch” with me she is, how she knows how I’m feeling and she is always protecting me, etc. She has absolutely NO idea that I really don’t like the way she treats me. And it’s not for my lack of explaining it to her. It’s because she won’t listen and she still finds a way to make me wrong even when I tell her that she’s not hearing what I’m telling her. I just keep feeling like I’m nearing a breaking point. That one of these days I’m just going to snap and tell her that I don’t want her bothering me

anymore. And I really don’t want that to happen. I know that she loves me, even if she has a strange way of showing it. I know that she won’t be around forever and that I should be happy with the time that I still have her. But I still feel like one day I’m just going to snap and say, “I’m done.”

Please try to move out as soon as you can I have been in your shoes not with a husband and child but i had a mother who tried to make all my decisions The best thing I ever did was move 1000 miles away move even if it is just 1 bedroom with a study you can make the study in to a bedroom for your child Hugs please keep us posted.

 

[Eowyn86]

Thank you all, I’m feeling much stronger today. As it turned out, we had a meting with my son’s psychiatrist (he has behavioral issues/special needs) and he pointed out our lack of parental authority when my parents are around. I think that cemented things for me–I need to step up for the good of my kids. Since moving in with my parents, the doctor has observed an increase I behavior problems from both kids. It’s obviously not a good situation for them.

When I explained to my parents that we planned to move out in order to create more stability for the kids’ schedules, my mom got very defensive. She even went so far as to say that our doctor doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about. DH have put things in motion to start finding our own place and my whole outlook on the situation is improving. I feel much better about needing to move out, and it feels like it will be a much needed breath of fresh air.

Thank you for all your prayers, I know they have helped already.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thank you all, I’m feeling much stronger today. As it turned out, we had a meting with my son’s psychiatrist (he has behavioral issues/special needs) and he pointed out our lack of parental authority when my parents are around. I think that cemented things for me–I need to step up for the good of my kids. Since moving in with my parents, the doctor has observed an increase I behavior problems from both kids. It’s obviously not a good situation for them.

When I explained to my parents that we planned to move out in order to create more stability for the kids’ schedules, my mom got very defensive. She even went so far as to say that our doctor doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about. DH have put things in motion to start finding our own place and my whole outlook on the situation is improving. I feel much better about needing to move out, and it feels like it will be a much needed breath of fresh air.

Thank you for all your prayers, I know they have helped already.

:clapping::clapping::clapping::yup:

I know that you won’t regret it. Your mother has real trouble with boundaries and as long as you are under her roof, it’s not going to improve.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

DH have put things in motion to start finding our own place and my whole outlook on the situation is improving. I feel much better about needing to move out, and it feels like it will be a much needed breath of fresh air.

Excellent!

You will not regret this decision. There is nothing like freedom from control and living like an adult. Well done for you.