It’s been years

[XKC]

I’m just going to say what’s on my heart right now. Not sure if this is even the right place.

It’s been years since I been to church and definitely haven’t been to reconciliation. My life right now isn’t the way I want it. I feel like I’ve caused all the drama and sinning for far to long. I have no one to blame but myself. Everything I’ve done is making my life harder to live everyday. I’m very angry.

Not only do I just try to maintain life. I have been married twice and two kids I’m trying to raise to be great. But the way I’m living isn’t going help my kids be great because I am not a great role model.

Where do I even start to find my path?.. I just want happiness. I don’t agree on some things in the Catholic religion but this was all I knew growing up. Everything I’ve done just keeps pointing me to go back and find my faith again.

 

[fredystairs]

What I would recommend is for you to make an appointment with the priest at your local parish. You can then tell him about your history and your desire to return. He could explain those areas of Church teaching that you have problems with and will help you get started on your return.

I wish you many blessings on your return and will pray for you.

 

[yankeesouth]

You start by going to confession.

You could also start separate threads in the appropriate sub forums to discuss what teachings of Jesus you don’t agree with.

Praying for you.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Go to church. Talk to a priest. Ask God back into your heart. If you are married outside the Church, that may need to be fixed. Christ wants you back in His Church.

 

[Kei]

Yes, it may be that you are being called to the Church. Like others here, try to set up an appointment with a local priest to talk about this, including what you disagree upon about our teachings.

 

[RandomAlias]

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums. It is great that you are examining your life, thinking about how to make it better, and wanting to rebuild your faith. You are on a spiritual journey, and even now you are making progress. Give thanks and praise to God!

A bit of general advice: Keep moving! Your journey will take you through some rough spots and maybe some stormy weather, but don’t despair. You will also find signposts, bridges, traveling companions, and much beauty along the Way.

Another bit of general advice: Pray. It doesn’t have to be standard prayers like the Lord’s Prayer – although that is a pretty good prayer. Just talk to God. Pray for faith. Pray for your children. Pray for strength to do the right things. Pray for wisdom to know what those right things are. Pray for hope when things seem impossible. Pray for peace in your heart. Pray for whatever else you need. Pray for those who do you wrong. Pray in gratitude for the good things in your life. Pray anytime.

I am praying for you. May the Holy Spirit assist and guide you always toward greater faith, hope, and love.

 

[upant]

Where do I even start to find my path?..

sunday mass, make it a habit
after a bit take the kids

 

[ErraticFaith]

You’ve already started. By finding the courage to acknowledge your mistakes and having a desire to fix them - is a battle in itself.

You need to find peace with all of things that you feel ail your life and how you live it. You bring them out into the light. Question them and gain a good understanding of self

From there you will rebuild a self respect and knowledge. And when you love yourself, as you already know, you can make a big difference for others around you. Completing the circle of give and take that makes each of us value what we have and have achieved.

Father Bless you.

 

[exnihilo]

My life right now isn’t the way I want it. I feel like I’ve caused all the drama and sinning for far to long. I have no one to blame but myself.

We are all like that. Some are more holy than others but we can all achieve holiness with God’s grace and our cooperation.

I just want happiness. I don’t agree on some things in the Catholic religion but this was all I knew growing up.

I think you will find happiness in not living life the way you think you should but rather by living life how the Church says you should. The teachings and rules of the Church aren’t there to make you miserable. They are there to make you happier. They are there to make you completely happy. It is just that we, in our fallen nature, think some lesser good will makes us happy. The Church, having wisdom from God, knows better.

 

[Jared2914]

Follow the others’ advice to see a priest. I think you would be greatly helped by a spiritual director or even a devout Catholic parishioner. The priest can help connect you with someone that can meet with you regularly and guide you to the better life you hope for. If the priest is not too busy, he might even do it himself, but most of them are super busy these days. A Catholic psychologist might also help depending on what’s going on.

When times are good it is easy to leave God behind, but when life is difficult, when you feel you have nothing, God is there ready to take you back. I assure you after a few months of focusing on God, you will already be improving at least in small ways, but you need someone at your side to help start this journey. Unfortunately, we can’t help you with this online, so please seek out the nearest Catholic church. Then let God heal your pain, sorrow, emptiness, and despair.

 

[Brigh111]

I’ll be praying for you! Saint Augustine says that difficult situations can act as a refining fire to some and as a terrible stumbling stone to others. I believe you’ve been pulled in the right direction to make this difficult time into a refining moment. It can be so demoralizing to truly see your sin and understand your unworthiness but it is far better to recognize your sin so you can beg forgiveness and amend your life rather than live in denial and ignorance.
And if you decide to go to confession, know that you can have a genuine conversation with the priest, It does not have to be a formal “get in and get out” situation. You can go into the confessional and get all of your fears, anxieties, and doubts off of your chest.
Remember, you can change. Never lose hope! You can become a better role model. You can become happy. Do not despair! God has an unfathomable love for you even at your lowest moment!